Wang Ruoxi came out of the washroom and asked me, "So, how was the babysitting?"
"What—what did you just say?" I asked her in a shocked way.
"I said, how was the babysitting," she said again.
I threw the pillow at her and said, "No one is a baby here, okay?"
"Oh really? Then why does this 22-year-old baby need her babysitter to come and console her? Tell me," she said while folding her arms and standing right in front of me.
"I don't know. I don't have an answer to your question," I said while looking down at the floor.
"Okay then, accept it until you find the answer to my question. Till then, I'll believe that it was babysitting," she said.
"Wang Ruoxi," I said while looking into her eyes with my pissed-off expression.
"Okay, okay, I was just joking. Don't get angry, otherwise I'll need to call your boyfriend to come again and babysit you," she said while laughing.
"You are really not going to, isn't it?" I asked her.
"Not for tonight at least," she said.
"Okay then, handle the consequences of your own behavior tonight," I said, and right after that, I threw the pillow at her again.
"You are really such a violent person. Has Xu Yuan ever seen this side of you? What if I make a video of this and send it to him and show him how violent his girlfriend is?" she said while catching the cushion I threw at her.
The night went quite well as it ended with a pillow fight between Wang Ruoxi and me. Today, the pain in my heart eased. Yes, it was not removed fully, but it eased today. I closed my eyes while saying this to myself and drifted off into a deep, peaceful sleep after many days.
The morning hit our window. I opened my eyes and saw the time—it was 7:30 a.m. I got off the bed. Today, finally, the three-day holiday had ended, and I would get back to shooting again with him, I said to myself. Then I freshened up and changed myself to go to the set.
Wang Ruoxi was still sleeping, so before leaving the room, I said to her, "Lock the door from inside. I am going for the shoot."
She nodded her head sleepily and said, "Have a nice day, bye-bye," while waving her hand at the doorstep.
"Wang Ruoxi, at least open your eyes," I said.
"No, I am too tired to even open them," she said, and then closed the door.
I went out of the dormitory and reached the bus stop. The bus was on time and very empty today. I got inside and sat on my usual window seat. The bus started moving, and while looking outside through the window, I kept thinking about one thing in my mind—and that was, did Yuan also feel that I was an immature girl even after being 22 years old? Didn't I behave in the right way? Does he also see me like Mama does? I asked myself.
But all my self-realization thoughts were broken as I reached the shooting location set.
I got off the bus, and after walking for fifteen minutes, I reached the set. I went inside, where I saw everyone working so hard. All the cast and crew members were trying their best so that the scene could come out perfectly. I realized then that making a drama a hit requires everyone's hard work—not only the actors', but each and every person on the team. Only then are we able to get the desired output.
"It's such a thoughtful thought, Zhao Shiza," I said to myself.
While walking toward my makeup room, my eyes searched here and there, but he was nowhere. Maybe he got late today, or maybe he had some other important work. Why do you always forget, Zhao Shiza? You are dating China's biggest superstar actor, not any random person. Such a silly you are, I said to myself.
Then someone hit my head with a finger from behind. I turned around immediately, because every action has an equal or opposite reaction.
"Where are you lost?" he asked, while moving away a strand of hair from my forehead with his hand.
I held his hand immediately and said, "Stop, Yuan. Everyone is on set. They will figure out that we are dating if you behave this way."
"Such a cruel world and cruel people," he said.
"How?" I asked.
"They don't even let a boyfriend take care of his girlfriend. So bad about it," he said in a dramatic way while making his usual dramatic expression.
I hit his arm lightly and said, "Stop being overdramatic, Mr. Yuan."
"Overdramatic?" he repeated. "See what days have come. Now caring for my girlfriend becomes overdramatic. I am getting disappointed with this world day by day."
"Stop exaggerating it, otherwise everyone will know about your secret girlfriend here," I said in a whispering voice.
"Don't worry. No one will ever be able to, unless we want to let them know about us," he said. Then he bent down a little to match my eye level, his hands on his knees. This definitely made my heart skip a beat for a second.
"It's our top secret," he said while looking into my eyes.
"Our top secret," I repeated.
He nodded his head and got up from that position.
"It's enough for now," I said, and moved toward my room. But behind me, he asked, "You didn't answer me something, Miss Zhao Shiza."
"What?" I asked.
He smiled, his hands in both his pockets, and said, "Where were you lost when I came to you at that time?"
I turned around, smiled, and said, "Lost in your love," and then moved as fast as I could to reach the makeup room without looking back at him. I achieved it—I reached the room and closed it.
I was still in the era of my romantic phase, but I saw something unusual today. Yang Lulu was standing in front of the dressing table mirror, preparing makeup and reheating the hair machinery equipment for me. She didn't even notice that I had entered the room. She usually never did that.
I moved forward and sat on the chair in front of the dressing table. Yang Lulu immediately changed her expression and started doing my makeup very silently, opening the makeup palettes and doing her job as usual like other days. But today, she didn't even talk to me.
Why should I wait for her to start the conversation? I said to myself and initiated the conversation by saying, "Morning, Yang Lulu."
She forced a fake smile and said, "Morning, Zhao Shiza."
I could sense that something was definitely off with her today. Before the three-day holiday, she was so excited about her wedding, but today it seemed like something big had happened that she wasn't telling.
How should I ask her? Would it look right to ask her? Wouldn't she think that I was interfering in her personal life? But we are friends. I can ask her whatever I feel.
No more self-doubts, Zhao Shiza, I said to myself.
"Yang Lulu, why are you—" I was just about to ask her when, at that exact moment, a knock appeared on the door.
A fellow crew member said, "Director Li has arrived on set for the scene. Get ready and come out once you're done with styling and makeup."
"Okay, we'll come in five minutes," Yang Lulu said.
I didn't complete my question. I stopped there because somehow I knew it was not the right time to ask her. I would look for a better opportunity to ask her alone.
Within ten minutes, we came out of the makeup room. After changing into my costume for the scene, I sat on the chair and started reading my lines for today's scene.
Then he brought his chair near mine.
I gave him a daring look and said, "Yuan, you are an actor for all these years. I am not, so I need time to prepare my lines and myself before the scene begins."
"So take your time. I didn't say anything. You are the one who got distracted by my charming beauty," he said proudly.
"Charming beauty?" I repeated, then laughed a little and said, "Indeed I am."
"Silly girl," he said.
"Hm," I said while reading my lines.
"You even copied my 'hm'?" he asked.
"It's all just a matter of being with you, so I got your habits," I said very casually while reading my script.
"Is this what you wanted to ask me?" I asked him.
"No, I want to ask something else," he said.
"What? Go ahead," I said, my eyes still on my script.
He shut his eyes and asked in one flow, "Do you find me responsible for you failing your class test?"
I looked at him immediately and said, "From where did this trash come into your mind?"
"From nowhere. It's just a thought—maybe because of me. Because you think about me, about us, and because of that, you weren't able to focus on your studies. So maybe I was the reason for your failure," he said.
"Listen, Yuan. Nothing bad in this world happens to me because of you. In fact, anything good in this boring life of mine is only you. You are never the darkness for me; you are the light in my darkness. So don't you dare blame my Yuan ever, otherwise I'll break up with you.
And yes, I think about you every time, but not for a few days. I have been thinking about you since my high school days, since the moment I saw you on screen in that drama. You never affected anything bad in my life back then, so how is it possible that you will affect me in a bad way now? Isn't it too foolish of you to ask this?
Nothing bad has happened to me because of you. In fact, whatever good happened to me is because of you. You are my ray of hope in my hopeless life. I know you won't understand what I am saying right now, but—"
Then he held my hand just beneath the chair and said one line, which was enough to make my Mr. Heart melt:
"I know. I know I can't tell you, but still, I know how much you carry me inside you all these years without expecting anything in return, without telling anyone the pain you bore, those restless sleepless nights—I know all of it.
Sometimes I wonder how, being so small, you were able to handle this. You are such a strong person inside, hiding such a huge pain all alone all these years. And with that radiant smile, you made me believe that love is beyond any difference.
It comes to you in such an unexpected way and never leaves, leaving its imprint in the heart. Everyone has a different way of loving. For you, loving me is worshiping me. And for me, loving you is essential for my breathing—essential for my breathing."
He repeated it again.
"For you, getting me may be the answer to your prayers. But for me, getting you in my life is the reward of prayers I never even prayed for. That's why sometimes I think—did I really deserve this reward?
But whenever this question rises, my heart immediately answers it: I don't know whether I deserve this reward or not, but you deserve it. You truly deserve the answer to your prayers. And I am no one to take it from you. No one. No one…"