CHAPTER 8
After crying for a while, Jay left with the Saint of the place. They went to choose a book for her. They were walking together until Jay passed by a shelf that caught his attention. He stopped, picked up a book, and looked at the cover.
'This cover looks exactly like her. I think she'll like it.' Jay thought, a bit embarrassed. In his past life, he almost never gave gifts to anyone.
Saint Clarice stopped walking, tilting her head with a puzzled look."Jay, why did you stop? Are you alright?" She walked toward him.
Jay widened his eyes as something hit him.'Wait, every moment I've spent with the Saint feels like we've known each other for years… like we're dating or something.' He felt his cheeks heating up. 'Aren't we a little too close?!'
"Are you feeling sick, Jay?" Clarice asked, worried. "You're turning red!"
Jay extended his arm toward her, holding the book without meeting her eyes."Here," he muttered, scratching the back of his neck. "When I saw it, it reminded me of you."
Those words struck Clarice's heart. Her face turned red and she fumbled for words."R-Really? Ah, um… thank you."
"Well, shall we keep going?" Jay quickly changed the subject."Yes! Let's." Clarice replied immediately, trying to compose herself.
They walked toward the exit, where Poul and Luis were talking. On the way, the Saint kept fidgeting with her hair and hands, shy and awkward.
'I'll just accept this. I have to accept my father's departure for war. That's something I used to judge people for in my past life—never accepting what was beyond their control. I was one of those people too. But in this new life…'
A soft breeze brushed Jay's dark hair as they stepped out of the library, the book charged to the king's account.
'I hope I learn not to be such a hypocrite in this new life.'
"Jay!" Clarice's voice snapped him from his thoughts.
"Yes, Clarice?" Her cheeks were red, and she looked around nervously. Clearly, she was embarrassed. She extended both arms, eyes shut tight."Here, take this. As thanks—for being my friend."
"Oh, thank you." Jay took the book and raised an eyebrow at the cover.
'This book is totally my type. Seriously, how does she know me this well when we just met today?! Now I feel like a creep.'
"D-Did you like it?" Clarice stammered.
Jay gave a short, awkward laugh. "Yeah, I liked it."
Her nervous expression brightened into pure joy. Without realizing it, Jay added, "I'll read it with excitement."
'Wait—why did I just say that?!'
"What's this little couple doing?" Luis teased, smirking.
Jay's face turned crimson. Clarice froze in place.
After that, the two were relentlessly teased by Luis and Poul until Mary came out, pale and sweating, worried sick about the missing kids—and especially about the Saint, such an important figure.
When she finally found them safe, relief washed over her. After a few words exchanged, they all headed home—except for the Saint, who stayed behind with the king to return to her continent.
She fought to hold back her tears."Goodbye, Saint Clarice. I'll miss you."
Clarice couldn't hold it anymore and started crying. "I'll miss you too." She hugged Jay tightly.
Jay hugged her back, whispering in her ear, "You sure like hugging me a lot, don't you, Saint?" He smiled, genuinely and warmly.
Clarice nodded shyly.
Then she stepped back, looked him in the eyes, and said, "We'll meet again, Jay!"
"We will. Someday, we'll meet again. That's a promise."
The Saint smiled brightly and gave Jay a quick kiss on the cheek. He froze, completely red, while she giggled at his flustered face before heading toward King Valerius Adélio. Jay waved back, still stunned, then turned to follow his family. Poul and Luis stayed alert, watching over him.
As Jay walked, he touched his cheek where she had kissed him.'Does she like me more than just a friend? Or is that just cultural? Either way… she cares about me. After everything we went through, it's no surprise we got so close. She saved me from the darkness. For her—and for my family—I have to be happy.'
He lowered his gaze, deep in thought. Once home, he went straight to his room, placed the new book on his shelf, and lay down on his bed, exhausted.
'What is true happiness? Love? Being loved? Money? Women? Drugs? Booze? None of that brings real happiness—it's all temporary. I want the real thing.'
Jay's eyes widened. 'I understand now. Since my…' But a sudden wave of sleep took him. 'Since my past life, I… I wanted…' He drifted into slumber.
"You can't know that yet… not until your inner self truly desires it," whispered a mysterious voice.
Days later, it was time for Poul to leave for the battlefield he'd been preparing for.
He woke early, packing his things and moving quietly so as not to wake Jay or Kyrai. Each step was careful and soft. When he reached the living room, he found Luis and Mary already waiting.
"Morning, Poul. Ready to go?" Luis asked.
Mary simply nodded.
Poul looked to the side—and froze. His son stood in the kitchen doorway, holding a glass of water and smirking with raised brows.
'That brat… just because some Saint cares about him, he thinks he's hot stuff. Damn lucky kid.' Poul thought, jealousy dripping from every word in his mind.
"You're thinking how your amazing son can be both cocky and annoying at the same time, aren't you?"
Poul's jaw dropped.
'Right on the mark,' he thought.
"Dad, please be careful out there… and come back safe."
Poul closed his eyes and gave a cocky laugh. "Of course I'll come back. After all…" He walked over and placed a hand on Jay's head. "I'm the Ice Genius."
Jay's heart eased a little. "Yeah, Dad. That's a promise."
"It's a promise," Poul repeated, nodding.
Mary tried to hold back her tears. One escaped anyway, glimmering as she covered her mouth and turned away.
After hugging his son, Poul was met by his best friend, who punched him lightly on the shoulder before pulling him into a brotherly hug.
"Don't die in this damn war," Luis muttered.
"Who do you think I am?"
"My little icicle."
Poul burst out laughing. Luis smiled and gripped his shoulders firmly."I'll protect him."
"I know you will." Poul smiled back.
Then he turned to Mary, who was fighting a losing battle against her tears."Mary."
She turned, sniffling, hand over her mouth.
"You don't need to hold it in."
She threw herself into his arms. Poul instantly regretted saying that, eyes widening as she sobbed.
"Th-thank goodness, Poul… Don't go, please don't go to w-war…" she stammered, trembling.
Luis had to pry her off by force, even as she cried and protested. Watching it all, Jay could only… laugh softly.
When Mary finally calmed down, Poul opened the door."I'm off," he said, voice steady but tinged with sadness.
Everyone said, "Take care." And with that, he left on his journey.
After the door closed, Jay picked up the book Clarice had given him and started reading. Luis watched, puzzled, but went on with his day.
Hours passed. Jay switched positions, from sitting to lying down.
'This book really got me hooked. She truly knows me. I… I wish I could see her again.' He placed his arm over his eyes, resting the book on his chest. 'I don't understand why I keep thinking of her whenever I read this. Maybe I'll visit the library again to clear my head.'
He stood up, heading to his room to change.
On the way, he ran into his little sister, sleepy and grumpy, hair messy, lips in a pout.
He stopped, let her pass, and continued walking without a word—refusing to look at that morning "disaster."
In his room, he changed clothes. While pulling on his shorts, a masculine voice echoed in his mind."I can't believe I'm sealed inside a guy who likes little girls," it said, full of disappointment. "I thought you'd go for big boobs or at least a nice ass, but no… what a letdown."
"How the hell do you know my type, you blue bastard?"
"Oh, don't deny it, man. You've got no right—you're into lolis!"
Jay gritted his teeth and cursed Roh under his breath. After getting dressed, he headed outside. It was still early, so he sat on the veranda with nothing to do but watch the view.
Birds sang, the wind swayed the trees, and though the sky was gray, the peace of the moment was almost unfamiliar. He remembered his past—bitter yet precious memories.
'Good times… when my father wasn't in the army, and my mother was still alive. That's when I was learning how to love again. But the darkness took them from me… and broke the promise I made to my father. Now, with blood still on my hands and its taste in my mouth, I can finally say…' The clouds parted, sunlight spilling over the land. 'I'm freeing myself from the darkness.'
"What the hell are you doing out here in this cold?" a voice interrupted.
Jay turned and shrugged. "Just felt like it."
The man chuckled and sat beside him.
"You know, Jay, I can still taste it in my mouth… that feeling. You must feel it too, right?"
"Yeah… I do, Uncle Luis," Jay replied quietly, lowering his head.
"Yeah. It's normal. When you've killed someone."
Jay froze, staring at Luis—fear and anxiety blending in his eyes. He wanted to ask but hesitated. Then, swallowing hard, he spoke.
"Have you killed anyone besides those soldiers?"
Luis didn't look at him. The sunlight hit half his face. "Yeah… I have."
Jay exhaled deeply, strangely calm. "I should've suspected that from the start." He gave a dry laugh. "I know you wouldn't kill for pleasure—only to protect the people you love."
"You're right." Luis looked at him curiously. "You've got too much maturity for your age, kid."
Jay raised an eyebrow. "Of course I do. Why? You just noticed now?"
"Kinda, yeah. Especially after your dad left… You didn't show much emotion, but your actions said otherwise."
Jay averted his gaze.'Well, I was thinking about someone else at the time, but whatever.'
They talked until the sun began to rise higher. Eventually, they decided to head to the library together.
The air was still chilly as they walked side by side. Luis wore a coat—he'd tried to force Jay to wear one too, but Jay stubbornly refused. The sun was climbing, casting golden light across the town.
'Who am I to judge Luis for killing?' Jay thought, his black hair fluttering in the wind. 'I've done the same… under orders from assassins who failed their missions.'
Flashes flooded his mind.
"How could you do this?!" the girl shouted, backing away. "Why did you kill him? Tell me, why?!" Tears streamed down her face.
"It's… it's part of the job." Gabriel stood, his suit soaked in blood, holding a dripping knife. His voice shook as tears filled his eyes.
"Don't come near me." She stepped back. "S-Stay away, you… monster."
Gabriel stopped. He looked at his bloody hands, then at the girl, who seemed to be getting farther away though he hadn't moved.
"W-Wait, no…" He fell to his knees, trembling. "I'm sorry! Please, don't leave me!"
"Don't ever come near me—or my daughter—again, you monster!"
Her words shattered him. Crying, trembling, he began hearing a voice call his name. Faint at first, then louder, louder, until—
"Jay!"
It was like someone shouted in his ear.
He clutched his head, looking around. Luis was staring at him, concerned.
"Huh?! What happened? Did we get there already?" Jay asked, disoriented.
"You froze up, started whispering 'I'm sorry' over and over," Luis said. "Seriously, what's going on with you?"
"It's n-nothing!" Jay insisted.
'Did that memory really shake me that much? Enough to make me tremble?!'
Still, Jay pressed on.
Once at the library, he searched the shelves with one thought in mind.'Where is it…'
He checked every row until—'Found it! The book she was reading!'
The hopeless romantic walked to the counter. Luis was already there, holding a book.
"You're getting one too?" Jay asked, surprised.
"Of course," Luis grinned. "I'm not leaving empty-handed."
Jay pointed at who would pay, handed the book over, and walked outside. Luis quickly paid for both and followed.
Then, the ground began to shake.
"An earthquake?" Luis muttered.
"No… that's not an earthquake, that's—"
Before Jay could finish, a yellow flash streaked across the sky and struck outside the city walls. His heart tightened. His breathing grew heavy, sweat running down his face as something enormous appeared, smoke rising from its body and a murderous aura filling the air.
He clenched the wall before him.
Luis looked at Jay with despair in his eyes."This is the end of our peace… and the beginning of hell