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"Hey, where's that bald guy Saitama run off to? Can't find him anywhere to help carry stuff—what a pain! Such a pain…"
Because he hadn't been paying attention earlier, Ethan had burned through all his manuscript paper and pens. Now he needed to restock. But he didn't want to keep running errands every few days, so his plan was simple: buy a mountain of supplies at once and be done with it.
Except when he stepped outside, he realized Saitama had disappeared somewhere—probably out playing hero, punching monsters again. Left with no other choice, Ethan had to go by himself.
A few massive boxes sat in front of him, each packed with over a hundred pounds of drawing paper and assorted art supplies. Ethan sighed and shook his head in despair. Of course, that kind of weight was nothing for him—but still, it was trouble. Times like this, he really missed that shiny-headed freeloader. If Saitama were around, he wouldn't have to lift a finger.
Skreeee—
A squeaky brake cut through his thoughts. A bicycle stopped right in front of him, and the rider grinned broadly."Need a hand?"
"Yes! Absolutely! Thank you so much—you have no idea how glad I am to see you! I was just wondering how I was going to get all this home!" Ethan's eyes practically sparkled. The guy looked completely ordinary, and his vehicle… was a bicycle.
"No need to thank me! Helping others is what heroes do. I'm the Unlicensed Rider, at your service!" he said proudly, as if the title itself gave him strength.
"You're the Unlicensed Rider? No way, that's awesome! I've been wanting to meet you! Actually, I'm a manga artist—mind if I make a comic about you someday? Maybe you could tell me how you became a hero?" Ethan said, eyes shining like a fanboy. Truth be told, he'd never heard of this "Unlicensed Rider" before, but buttering people up was an easy way to get help.
"Really? You're a manga artist? That's so cool! I love comics too! But please, don't use me as a character—I'm just a regular guy. As long as I can help someone in need, that's enough for me."
Despite his modest words, Unlicensed Rider's grin grew wider. No matter how humble a hero pretends to be, who doesn't like a bit of praise?
"No, no, it's exactly that kind of attitude that makes you such a real hero," Ethan said smoothly, doing nothing but talk while Unlicensed Rider eagerly tied down every last box with rope, panting and sweating under the weight.
"All right! Ready to roll!" Unlicensed Rider wiped his brow and smiled again.
"Yeah, let's go," Ethan nodded.
As they made their way through the city, Ethan—being who he was—naturally attracted trouble. A rat-man here, a cockroach-mutant there… low-level monsters, the kind barely scraping into "Wolf-class."
They were weak, sure—but Unlicensed Rider was, well, a normal human. No super strength, no speed, no armor. Just guts and a bike. Against monsters, that wasn't much of a match.
"Mr. Ethan! Get out of here! I'll hold it off—you can count on me!" Unlicensed Rider shouted bravely, planting himself in front of the monster.
Smack!
Before he could even raise a fist, the rat-man collapsed with a thud, a neat hole through its chest.
"Uh… what?" Unlicensed Rider froze, staring dumbly at the corpse.
"Wow, Unlicensed Rider, that was amazing! You actually took it down!" Ethan exclaimed, though his acting was about as convincing as a plastic sword.
"I—I didn't… that wasn't me…"
"Wow, Unlicensed Rider, you're incredible!"
"But I didn't—"
"Wow, Unlicensed Rider, you're incredible!"
"I…"
"Wow, Unlicensed Rider, you're incredible!"
Eventually, the hero just gave up. Maybe, he thought, the creature was already dying before it showed up. Yeah, that had to be it. Lucky break.
A few steps later, another monster appeared.
"Mr. Ethan, you go first! I'll—uh—" Before he even finished shouting, the monster toppled over dead.
"Wow, Unlicensed Rider, you're incredible!" Ethan repeated, voice flat, like a broken record.
"…Right."
"Mr. Ethan, go ahead—I'll—oh, it's dead again?"
"Wow, Unlicensed Rider, you're incredible."
"…Again?"
"Wow, Unlicensed Rider, you're incredible."
And so it went—one monster after another dropping dead, each time before the hero could even swing a punch. All the while, Ethan just flicked his fingers; the resulting air pressure alone was enough to pierce their hearts.
"Ha… haha… weird day, huh? So many monsters in just one short walk…" Unlicensed Rider scratched his head, still confused.
"Yeah, good thing you were here, or I'd be toast," Ethan said with a grin.
"But… but I didn't even do anything. Wait—could I have awakened some kind of hidden superpower? A power that kills monsters invisibly?" Unlicensed Rider muttered to himself, half hopeful, half bewildered.
"Of course you did! You're the Unlicensed Rider, after all!" Ethan said, clapping him on the shoulder, dead serious.
"Haha, maybe so, huh? Anyway, we're here. I'll help you carry this upstairs. But Mr. Ethan, you should really move out—this area's a disaster zone. Monsters show up all the time."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be careful."
Unlicensed Rider lugged the heavy boxes up five flights of stairs, gasping for breath by the time he reached the top. Each box was easily a hundred pounds—no small feat for a guy with no powers.
"Huff… huff… all done! I—I got everything up here. I'm heading out—please, just be careful living in a place like this…" he said between wheezes.
"Thanks a ton. Wanna stay for dinner?"
"No need! I just did what any hero should do! Goodbye!" he said, hopping back on his bike and riding off down the street.
With his sharp hearing, Ethan could still make out his muttering voice fading into the distance:"I should go test out this new invisible power of mine… what kind of monster should I try it on? Wolf-class? Tiger-class? Maybe… Dragon-class…"
Ethan made the sign of the cross over his chest."Amen. God bless the Unlicensed Rider. He really is a good guy."
"..."
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