I was sitting at the kitchen table, just got back from my part-time, eating a cup of instant ramen as always my life is fucking boring, would my perfect sis -the one my parents adore so much- laugh at me?
Whatever, i don't have to care, i don't want to. It's really tiring like this. I didn't get any sleep in the last few days being too busy.
Then again why am I even trying so hard? There isn't anything other for me to achieve. I already got away from them, i already got my freedom. what's left for me here?
The sound of laughter from upstairs cuts off my thoughts, it was the loud neighbor again. I gaze up at the TV at once, maybe there's something to ease my mind, I go through few channels...nothing really interesting, commercials and parlament bullshit, the canal stays on the mainstream news.
Now that I think about it I should take shower, I will get dirty looks again otherwise, my hair is all sticky from all the sweat and my body stinks again. This is useless. Why do I even care about this? I don't have anyone to appreciate my efforts.
I make myself stand up and head towards the bathroom, the half-eaten ramen, the chopsticks I practically dropped still soaked from the soup on the table, the hot water i spilled while making my lunch and the cover of the ramen I forgot...or perhaps was too lazy to trow to the bin.
Miss on TV announcing celebrities birthday with a wide fake smile, all let there because i dont care anymore.
At that time I was 25 year old Chae Se-Yun with a cheaply paid part-times that i got just because, one in a morning and one night shift. My life got completely worthless after I came to the conclusion that i don't have to impress my so called family because they didn't care anyway.
My parents aren't dead, nor did they abadon me. We just hated each other they didn't have a bit of appreciation for me, they pictured me so poorly it hurt, i had to make up for everything my sister did better than I in the end.
I cut off all contact right after I became an adult at twenty, oh how happy i was at that time, i portrayed this to be the perfect life i always wished for. But what's to it now i probably just look more desperate to live than a mere worm?
Or more like cockroach...no I'm more like tardigrade, I survive everything yet everyone is disgusted by it. They just try to find a way to kill me instead of appreciation.
They probably lived a quiet well life with my noona at some fancy house...I didn't care or i did, even though i promised myself not to. Worthless as always.
They didn't liked me anyway just talked some shit about kicking me out and how useless I am compared to my sister all the time.
I resent them.
But the worst part is I never fully got to hate sis, I always pictured her as some angel, some god that was all I always wanted. She hated me too, but I loved her, I get that she hates me who would like me anyway? It's not worth it, I'm not worth it.
My mind got probably all twisted and broken while I was finding a reason to live. But now that I got away it's all gone. Everything. I just became more useless.
I get back from the shower draining my wet hair in the towel. Walking over to the TV that is still on...I forgot to turn it off i guess....the fake smile big eyes ma'am still in there. My gaze slides the screen of the TV reading the main news text. My eyes opens wide. I read the Red text again in disbelief.
,,this can't be..."
My chest tightens, is this?...my mind spins a little and the wet towel falls on the ground with a wet smack sound. I do not care. I read the text for the third time. Before it gets blank before my eyes.
«ATTENTION!! NATIONAL EMERGENCY!! A STRANGE MONSTERS IN THE STREETS»
The ma'am from the news say in a trembling voice. At least she's not smiling so dumbly anymore I thought. What a ugly thing for me to say...why am I even thinking of that now. Should I run should I hide somewhere?
Wait Maybe its a joke or..
,,We wil-l-l like you to stay a-at...your homes and don't walk out until further notices .
"There is a high rate of getting yourself killed otherwise. T-thank you.,,
With that the news change to live video taken from helicopter. When i think about it I actually hear a helicopter sound from outside, the blades cutting the air violently...It shows shining lights from cars with alarms screaming around like cat its tail have been stepped on and people running all around trying to hide. That all happening because in the middle of the street is walking a big "never-before-seen monster".
Now this is absurd, it has to be AI. I hear scream from upstairs it's the loud neighbor.
Mabey they'll be quiet now..
Ah I'm like this again. And then I hear screams of panic and anger and prayers from all other direction.
"What the hell?!"
I whisper my voice sounds more like i don't care, but in reality i might as well faint in any second. The only thing I'm able to do is...
My gaze moves to my apartments window, it's dirty and mold is growing in the corners, the window itself smoky as i didn't cleaned it. My legs move towards it. The smell of burning mixed with stingy irone smell.
Ah disgusting.
I look outside...my legs stop working and I fall to the ground in shock. This time my legs really gave up. I have to get up. Or I'll probably die.
I don't want that. Or do I? Is it worth trying to survive when i don't have reason to? At least i wouldn't be called suicidal this way. Maybe I could gain a new life, like my sister's.
Outside, there isn't just one monster like on the news- there are at least 50 probably more...
every single one of them terrifying as fuck walking the street looking like hollows consuming but not being covered in the blood, it looks more like a royals on their hunt- always clean, untouched and don't flinch at anything or show any emotion. Thats even more terrifying honesty. It gives the vibe that whatever you do they don't care. They -almost like- dance around and kill every person they see.
The monsters are slightly transparent as if they are just shadows. But they look alive enough to be real. All of the monsters are coming from a big dark jet black hole🕳 in space.
Suddenly the ground starts shaking. The first thing i think of is to get out of the apartment as its located quietly high and now is a big chance the building will collapse and smash to peaces in any moment.
Forgeting my legs didn't work. Or Maybe i will die more peacefully outside?... I don't care and run.
I quickly grab my pants, phone and run out the doors letting them open leaving this cursed place behing it didn't gave me what i wanted.
It just made me feel more tied up. But not by my family anymore, but with the whole idea of living. Of the thought of the things I wanted but will never be able to gain. I press the button of elevator but it seems broken i smact the button one more time my fist painfully buzzing from the hard hit.
"I don't have time for this!"
I run towards the stairs thankfully the doors are open.
As i run i see more and more people stepping out of their doors, some running towards the elevator some screaming.
Theres a young lady carrying two crying childrenin her arms. Wonering how many of us will get to survive this I run down the stairs as fast I ever done in my whole life.
As I open the door of the panel house to the street a sudden strong wind almost blows me back to the building but people behind me are violently pushing me out screaming at me.
I do not care, i stay standing grabbing onto the door looking around for any safer place than this.
Safer place? Do I want to stay safe thought? Didn't you wanted to did?
Ahh so annoying, my mind is getting too full of this crap again. I just have to find a place to hide. That's all.
Suddenly, the ground beneath me starts to get all blurry it doesn't look like its cracking a hole it looks like its vanishing right under me.
My legs losing the ground. I'm grabbing onto the door, onto the people behind me screaming for help for something to grab me back. Everyone just steps back scared themselves.
Ah I forgot again.. a cockroach, not worth saving they would like me killed more than reaching their hands to save me.
I wouldn't save them too, they're not worth living too.
The air bends, rippling like heat haze. My stomach lurches as if gravity itself betrayed me. Then I realize—it isn't the wind. The hole is pulling me in.
So in the end I get to die...maybe just maybe i wanted to live afterall, but it's too late I guess i already wished otherwise, and I dont get to take it back that wouldn't be right.
"I- still don't forgive you....mother...father"
I whisper the wind around me blowing away my world to who knows where. But it doesn't matter my voice is too quiet for anything to hear anyway.
Suddenly Im staring to be really tired. As Im still fastly getting closer to the hole my eyes are closing from tirednes. I faint as soon as the hole suck me inside.