It all began with crawling.
Yes, crawling.
The Roosevelt mansion's living room was packed with relatives, maids, and chefs, all forming a cheering squad around baby Sofia, who was propped up on her chubby little arms.
Across her way , in the Astor villa, the exact same scene played out with baby Louis. Of course, fate being fate, the families somehow decided to hold their babies' first "race" on the same day. The venue? The hospital corridor where they'd both been born and now came for their vaccination and baby checkup.
The referee? A very exhausted nurse who was starting to regret her career choices.
"Ready, set—crawl!" she squeaked, already regretting saying yes to this nonsense. Baby Sofia roared—or at least made a fierce "Aghh-bahh!" sound—and flung herself forward like a pink marshmallow on wheels. Baby Louis, not to be outdone, slapped his palms on the floor and zoomed like a turbo turtle.
"Faster, Sofi, faster! Show him whose DNA is superior!" Mrs. Roosevelt shouted, clutching pom-poms she had clearly brought from home.
"Louis, don't let that spoiled pink teddy bear beat you! Crawl like the Astor heir you are!" Mr. Astor bellowed, recording the whole thing on a camcorder.
The babies went head-to-head down the corridor. Sofi drooled on the tiles;
Louis threw his rattle like a javelin to distract her. She picked it up, bit it, and hurled it back into his forehead.
The nurse ducked for her life. By the time they reached the "finish line"—a teddy bear placed ten feet away—they both grabbed it at the exact same time. Then, like true rivals, they immediately started smacking each other with it.
The cheering turned into chaos, the nurse fainted, and somewhere in the hospital records, the incident was politely filed under "parental disturbances." Thus, the toddler war began.
FAST FORWARD FIVE YEARS LATER :
Sofia strutted into kindergarten on her first day wearing a glittery pink backpack with her name embroidered on it. Louis stormed in with a superhero bag and a permanent scowl. The teacher, Miss Clara, thought they were just two normal kids. Poor woman.
"Children, let's share our crayons!" she said sweetly, placing a box in the middle of the tiny tables. Before her sentence even finished, Sofia snatched the entire box and hugged it like a dragon hoarding treasure. Louis marched over, puffed his chest, and demanded, "Give me the red one."
"No," Sofia said flatly.
"Yes," Louis shot back.
"No."
"Yes."
"NO."
"YES!" The standoff ended when Louis lunged for the crayon. Sofia, without hesitation, bit it clean in half with her tiny teeth. Green wax dribbled out of her mouth like a toddler monster. Louis stared at her, betrayed.
Miss Clara blinked once, twice, and quietly excused herself to breathe into a paper bag in the hallway.
The rivalry only grew fiercer. During recess, Sofia built a sandcastle. Louis stomped on it. Sofia retaliated by filling his shoes with wet sand. Louis dumped a bucket of water on her dress. By the time their parents arrived for pick-up, both kids looked like survivors of a tiny natural disaster. And instead of being horrified, the parents applauded.
"That's my daughter! Crush him next time!" Mr. Roosevelt shouted proudly.
"That's my boy! Don't let her step on your kingdom!" Mrs. Astor cheered back.
Miss Clara started searching online for jobs in accounting. Yeah poor Miss Clara.
Then came the Ice Cream War. On a hot Friday afternoon, both families ended up at the same ice cream truck.Yeah fate is cruel or author "---"
Sofia proudly clutched her vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles. Louis smirked over his chocolate swirl. They locked eyes.
"This town isn't big enough for two bullies," Louis declared, ice cream dripping down his chin.
"Neither is this ice cream truck," Sofia shot back, licking hers with exaggerated slowness.
Louis smirked, stepped forward, and bumped her shoulder.
Her vanilla cone plopped onto the pavement in tragic slow motion. The entire playground gasped. For three full seconds, Sofia just stared at the fallen ice cream, her tiny fists trembling.
Then, with the calm determination of a mafia boss, she grabbed Louis's chocolate cone and smeared it all over his face.
"Now you're sweet enough to eat," she said smugly. Louis roared and grabbed a handful of sprinkles from the counter, dumping them over her head. She sneezed glittery sugar all over the horrified ice cream vendor. And just like that, the kids declared it: "Bully War Day 1."
From that day forward, the playground was never peaceful. Every crayon, every sandcastle, every snack turned into a battlefield. Their parents egged them on, the teachers prayed for early retirement, and the other children? They just brought popcorn and watched the show and egging them both.
The narrator sighed dramatically: "From crawling races to ice cream battles, Sofia Roosevelt and Louis Astor were destined for one thing: chaos. The war had only just begun."
As the days went by, the battles between Sofia and Louis became the stuff of legend. They were like two titans clashing, their rivalry fueling a never-ending cycle of pranks and one-upmanship. The school became a battleground, with Sofia and Louis as the opposing generals.
Their parents, though amused, began to worry about the impact on their children's social lives. "Maybe we should intervene?" Mrs. Roosevelt suggested, but Mr. Astor was adamant. "No way, dear. Our kids are destined for greatness. Let them duke it out."
And so, the war continued. Sofia and Louis clashed in the cafeteria, on the playground, and even in the hallways. They were an unstoppable force, leaving a trail of chaos in their wake.
SOFIA: PLEASE SUPPORT—
LOUIS: HEY! THAT'S MY DIALOGUE, PINK MONSTER!
SOFIA: SHUT UP!
LOUIS: NO, YOU SHUT UP
WITH EXHAUSTION !,
AUTHOR: YOU BOTH SHUT UP! (Sofia and Louis sulking)
PLEASE SUPPORT,
CHAOS GUARANTEED FROM,
🤜SOFIA AND LOUIS🤛