Today, it hurts again. A pain so deep that it feels like a wound inside me will never heal. Every time I close my eyes, those moments come back. The faces. The fear. It feels like I'm trapped inside a nightmare I can't escape. I want to run, but there's nowhere to go.
That day, I learned to hate my own body. After that, I felt like I didn't belong to myself anymore. I wanted to scream, but my voice disappeared. A silent scream stayed inside me. No one heard.
While people live their normal days, I feel stuck in my past. Behind every smile, there's a heavy silence. Behind every silence, there are screams. What happened to me was not just a moment — it became a shadow over my whole life.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself. I can't remember who I was before those days, what made me laugh or what I believed in. The people who hurt me kept living their lives… but I keep reliving that moment every night.
I want to tell someone, but the words get stuck in my throat. It feels like no one could ever fully understand this pain. It's so deep that it tears me apart inside. I didn't deserve what happened. No woman, no person does. But it happened. And now I try to live with this pain, standing up every day again.
I was pregnant when all of this happened. While I was carrying a tiny life inside me, I met violence instead of love. Hunger, fear, pain. My body couldn't take it anymore, and I gave birth too early. My daughter came into the world at 7 months. She was so small, her breath was so fragile. I felt both joy and a deep sadness. All I wanted as a mother was to hold her, protect her, feed her, love her.
But she was taken from me. They kept her hungry for days. I suffered, and so did she. No mother should ever live something like this. But I did. My wounds didn't only bleed — they carried silent screams.
I tried to escape. I ran with hope in my heart, like a wounded bird. Freedom felt close… but they caught me. That night, my body, my trust, my childhood, and my motherhood were all broken.çocukluğum, anneliğim de parçalandı.