Higashi had wanted Satoru erased ages ago. Today was do-or-die.
Police summons had landed this morning: "coercing a female student, attempted sexual assault." Even if he dodged jail, his teaching career was ash. And Satoru still held hard evidence.
Higashi's conclusion: Akane snitched.
Fine. You ruin my life? I torch everything. I'll make you feel what that bitch did to me, but tenfold. My kick isn't doll-level! And Akane… how long can you stay loyal to a eunuch? Hahaha, your body will betray you soon enough. Can't wait to watch both your faces.
So he ignored the summons, strolled into school like any other day. One more crime wouldn't itch.
Perfect timing ruined by the field riot. Then he saw the chaos and grinned. Heaven-sent cover.
Slipped in under "teacher breaking up fight," closed the gap, and—
"Say goodbye to your lifetime happiness!!" Higashi roared, drool flying, face feral.
Full-power shin straight into the jewels.
Scream! Writhe! Let the whole school see your ruin!
…Nothing.
No howl. No collapse.
"?"
Higashi looked down.
Satoru looked back, calm, head tilted, pure "what are you doing?" energy.
"???"
Thirty years of muscle behind that kick. It could shatter stacked boards.
Yet Satoru didn't even flinch.
Higashi's ankle exploded in pain—sprained on impact.
Like kicking solid steel.
"Enjoying yourself?" Satoru asked, still sipping milk.
"…"
"Know how to play?"
"…"
"First time?"
"…"
Satoru casually crushed the carton.
Pssht—
A jet of milk blasted straight into Higashi's face.
Higashi froze, blinded, wiping frantically.
Satoru raised his right fist.
"Clench your teeth!" he roared. "This one actually hurts!!"
BOOM!!
A right hook caved Higashi's cheek.
Vision went black—stars exploded.
Thud.
Higashi hit the ground, skull bouncing, blood streaming from his nose like instant noodles.
Eyes wide open, soul already halfway out the door. KO'd cold.
"Your fantasy ends here," Satoru delivered the coolest rival line ever, fixed his collar, and resumed sipping what little milk remained.
…
The entire field went dead silent.
Every eyeball locked on him.
What the hell just happened?!
Brains rebooted: Kobayashi Satoru just one-punched Coach Higashi into next week.
Some pinched themselves—pain confirmed it wasn't a dream.
Then every gaze dropped to Satoru's crotch.
…Still fine?
"K-Kobayashi-kun, you…"
"Hey kid… you didn't…?"
Even Sakura and Ayaka were openly staring at the lower three regions like scientists discovering a new species.
Satoru gave a faint smile. "Relax. Trained in Hawaii."
His aunt worked there, taught him weird stuff—makes sense, right?
Sakura ↔ Ayaka ↔ crotch. Both swallowed hard, speechless.
Satoru swept his eyes across the baseball mob. They shrank like poked slugs.
Gotta be a monster. Who said he was easy prey? Your fists are softer than his balls—fight what?!
Onlookers were already rewriting history:
"Thought baseball brought numbers—turns out it was mass suicide."
"Always knew the pretty boy behind Miyajima was secretly hardcore!"
"You mean he's hard or… uh…"
"This is martial virtue—he doesn't fight because he disdains it."
"Baseball bros, start running. Don't stop till the edge of the planet!!"
Satoru finished the last drop, glanced at the unconscious Higashi—self-defense, totally legal, right?
Before he could finish the thought—
Left arm: Sakura. Right arm: Ayaka. Locked and loaded.
"Eh?"
"To the nurse. NOW!" Ayaka practically roared.
"Move, move!" Sakura waved the crowd aside like Moses.
The sea of stunned students parted instantly.
"W-Wait—" Satoru protested, dragged off like a princess. "I'm really fine—"
"No arguing!" Ayaka snapped. "I've never seen a guy take a nut-shot like that and stay standing!"
"Kobayashi-kun, don't worry," Sakura said, eyes teary. "Even if something's wrong… I'll take care of you for life…"
Satoru: …Can someone actually listen to me?
…