William felt the taxi lurch, almost spilling the soda he had just swallowed.
"Hey, buddy, drive steady! I just signed a big deal with a client and was about to go home and count my money!"
The driver was a Black uncle.
His forehead was covered in sweat, and he was gripping the steering wheel so hard it looked like water might squeeze out.
"Count money? Young man, with that commotion up ahead, you'll be lucky to count how many bones you have left!"
William looked forward.
Good heavens!
The street ahead looked like boiling porridge.
People screamed and scattered, cars crashed haphazardly into each other.
Horns, cries, and some heavy thudding sounds all blended together.
"What's going on? Has Godzilla come to town, or are the Transformers having an internal conflict?"
William pressed against the car window, trying to get a clear view of the center of the chaos.
"Who cares what it is! I'm not going near it! Fare's a hundred, you get out, I'm outta here!"
The driver said, already reaching to turn off the meter.
"Wait, we're here already? I haven't even reached home!"
"Is your life more important, or your home? If you're not afraid to die, you can walk over there yourself!"
The driver was almost in tears, pointing at the scene ahead that resembled a doomsday movie.
"See? This business, the risk is too high, I'm not taking it!"
William glanced at the chaotic scene, then at the driver's face, which screamed, "If you don't get out, I'm calling the police and saying you robbed me," and silently pulled out his wallet.
"Alright, alright, I'll walk. But, driver, your professional risk awareness needs improvement. Have you considered buying 'Battle Zone Taxi Driver Accident Insurance'? Our company has a discount recently..."
"Get out!"
William was covered in exhaust fumes from a sudden acceleration, standing dusty and disheveled by the roadside.
"Tsk, this service attitude. I'll complain about you eventually."
He patted the dust off himself and carefully moved along the edge of the crowd, calculating in his mind.
"Such large-scale urban destruction events, the municipal insurance department must be paying out a fortune. If I could get in touch, sign a comprehensive insurance plan for urban post-disaster reconstruction..."
William's occupational hazard kicked in again.
"No, saving my life is the priority now!"
He hunched his shoulders, trying to hide behind a roadside billboard.
Finally, he saw clearly.
Two gigantic creatures were passionately fighting.
One was slightly smaller.
Its back was covered in terrifying bone spikes, clearly not a benevolent being, roaring and wielding a lamppost like a golden cudgel.
The other was much larger.
Its muscles were bulging, its rage off the charts, and it was swinging a small car like a hammer throw.
Hulk and Abomination!
William's brain processed the information instantly, then let out a wail of "Oh my god."
"New York is truly a wonderful place! You can run into a Zhenren (Immortal) level fighting competition just by taking a stroll! And it's VIP front row!"
He felt his calves cramping up.
"This level of battle, even the aftershocks could cause internal injuries, right? Does that count as a work injury? Does this count as encountering force majeure while scouting potential clients?"
He fumbled for his phone, his fingers poking the screen several times before finding the right contact.
William: "Tony! Help! Someone's fighting in your backyard! Heavyweights! Looks like they could plow Manhattan flat!"
After about ten seconds, his phone vibrated.
Tony Stark: "Calm down, Xiao Wei. Just two big idiots. I've already taken the latest Mark series to 'break up the fight.' You stay somewhere safe, don't cause me any trouble. Oh, by the way, help me see how much public property they've damaged. I'll claim it from the Military later."
William: "..."
What the hell do you mean, break up the fight!
What the hell do you mean, claim it!
Do you think this is a quarrel between elementary school students who broke a neighbor's window?
He looked up. The two "big idiots" had already fought from the park to the adjacent commercial street.
A department store that looked like it had just opened was now like it had been precisely demolished.
Glass curtain walls crashed down, steel bars and concrete twisted like pretzels.
"This destructive power... ordinary personal accident insurance definitely isn't enough to cover it."
William mumbled to himself.
"Need to promote the 'Superhero Battle Zone Civilian Survival Protection Plan (Deluxe Edition),' with additional 'Building Accidental Collapse Insurance' and 'Mental Distress Compensation'..."
He even started to conceive policy terms in his head:
The insured party, due to a battle between a superhero or supervillain within a one-kilometer radius, resulting in direct or indirect physical injury, property loss, and psychological trauma caused by excessive fright, shall be eligible for compensation.
Special Note: In case of gamma radiation leakage, the compensation amount will be doubled, and a set of radiation-proof gear will be included as a gift.
"No, no, the risk is too high, the premiums would have to be sky-high."
William shook his head, discarding these unrealistic thoughts.
"The immediate priority is to save my life, and incidentally, see if I can collect some firsthand 'disaster assessment' data. What if there's a chance later?"
He squatted behind a relatively sturdy bus stop.
He peeked out half his head, "enjoying" this epic battle like a war correspondent.
Hulk punched Abomination, sending him flying. Abomination crashed into the load-bearing wall of a bank.
Banknotes fluttered everywhere, but unfortunately, no one dared to pick them up.
"Tsk, tsk, physical penetration of a bank vault, so efficient."
William clicked his tongue.
"What a shame. If I filmed this and posted it on YouTube, with the title '#WhenYourTwoMuscleBoundNeighborsFightOverTheNeighborhoodGymEquipment#', it would definitely go viral."
Abomination got up, grabbed a bus, and smashed it towards Hulk like swatting a fly.
Hulk didn't dodge, striking with both fists, crushing the bus into a metal disc.
"Ding-a-ling—"
William's phone rang again, it was Tony.
"How's it going? Do you need me to air-drop you a first-aid kit? It has my latest energy bars. One bar will keep you from being hungry for three days, though it tastes a bit like stinky socks."
William looked at the distant sky, where there wasn't even a shadow of metal.
Then he looked at the two demolition-crew-director-level contestants in front of him.
He felt nothing inside, even a little like laughing.
"Tony, I think you might have some misunderstanding about the phrase 'almost there.' They've already turned Fifth Avenue into their backyard wrestling arena. By the time you get here, you'll probably only be able to help sweep up."
No sooner had he sent the message than he saw Hulk execute an over-the-shoulder throw, slamming Abomination hard onto the ground.
The ground shook three times.
Then he straddled Abomination, raining down punches like a storm. Each punch carried the sound of thunder and lightning, leaving Abomination utterly helpless and howling.
"KO! The winner is decided!"
William whistled, though no one could hear him.
Hulk stood up, let out a deafening roar to the sky, then, as if nothing had happened, he took heavy, hopping steps and... ran off into the distance.
Only a massive mess remained, and Abomination, barely alive, lying in the rubble.
After about... five minutes?
The familiar sonic boom finally echoed in the sky.
A red and gold figure whistled down, landing steadily in the center of the devastated street.
Iron Man made his entrance.
Complete with his own background music and flash effects.
Tony Stark flipped open his faceplate, looking at the surrounding devastation, as if a Category 10 typhoon had passed through, and then at Abomination, barely clinging to life in the giant crater in the distance.
Tony Stark: "Did I miss a great party?"
William slowly walked out from behind the bus stop, dusting off his pants.
"The party's over, Tony. You're late. They've even cleared the buffet plates."