ROSE POV.
~Sometimes, love looks like staying even when the body wants to go~
The hallway smells like detergents and disinfectants… metals, needles, the beds all smell like that. That's the thing about hospitals, after a while they start to feel familiar. You get used to the piercings, to the blood, to the routine checks, and to the pity.
In hospitals, time freezes.
I am sitting outside in my wheelchair chair there is a small hill beside the hospital. Mum doesn't approve of me going there but oh well.
It's a bit too warm but I like it that way.
Liam is here beside me, his legs stretched, his back slouched like he has been here forever.
"Do you want to go back in?" Liam's voice is soft beside me, gentle in that way only he can pull off without sounding like pity. His hand is warm over mine.
"No. Let's stay a little longer," I say.
He nods, he doesn't push any further, he just stays.
He's not much of a talker, Liam. He never was, even before all of this. The needles, ward rounds, and constant hospital visits. He is a nerd, I guess that's what drew me to him. When I saw him across the classroom back in high school, I was in my junior year. Big glasses, perfectly trimmed hair, that serious look like the world rested in his notebook. I noticed him before he noticed me.
I knew I wanted to talk to him, and one thing about me is, I never hold back.
He was the one person who didn't treat me like I could leave any moment, he treated me like me. We became good friends and the next best of the bestest friends.
Liam is not timid. No, he is anything but that. I have watched him defend me in front of people, he helped with assignments, and carried me along, even when I was too tired. My Liam. People always mistake is for a couple and honestly, I don't mind. Liam is everything one would want in a guy. I mean what's there not to like?
I watch him from the corner of my eye.
He's just staring, I don't know if he enjoys the view from here like I do, or if he just does it to make me happy.
When I first told him about the cancer, I expected the flinch. The slow pulling back people do when they don't want to be mean or they don't know what to say. He didn't do that.
"I Googled every damn thing about it that night," he told me later. "I didn't want to mess up."
That's Liam. He's always trying to learn how to treat me better.
"You okay?" I ask him now.
He hums. "I was just… thinking."
"About what?"
He thinks for a moment. Then says, "How unfair it is that the world just keeps turning. That somewhere out there, people are waiting in line for coffee or fighting over parking, and here I am, trying not to cry next to you because the sun looks pretty."
I blink. I didn't expect that.
"You don't talk like that often."
"I don't get the chance to. You're always trying to make me laugh."
I smile. "You should talk like this more."
He gives a small shrug. "It's hard. Because when I talk, I want to fix things. And this… I can't fix."
I squeeze his hand. "You don't have to fix it. Just being here… it means more than you think."
He swallows, and I can tell he's thinking.
"I hate seeing you like this, Rose," he says. "Not because of how you look or how tired you are God, no it's just… I feel useless. I hold your hand and smile, and part of me is screaming. I wish I could trade places with you."
My throat tightens. I am not ready for this Liam, not today.
"You don't have to stay," I whisper. "If it gets too hard"
"Don't," he cuts in, his voice firm. "Don't say that. You're not a burden. I'm not here out of guilt or pity. I'm here because… I want to be. Because there's nowhere else in the world I would rather be."
I look away. My chest is heavy.
I wonder if he notices. The hair. The weight loss. The fatigue. Of course he does. But he doesn't say anything.
Everyone else does though.
The nurses, the doctors, my classmates who still send long paragraphs I can't bring myself to reply to. Even strangers. They talk to me like I'm made of glass now. They smile too much. Speak too softly. Like I'll shatter if their voice goes above a whisper.
My eyes go to the bird that lands a few feet away from him. He tries to catch it but it flies away immediately. I laugh lightly.
"Liaaaam," I say calling out. "Why didn't you just let the poor thing be"
"I wanted to get it for you, you know."
I laugh. "You wanted to get me a bird?"
"You know, things like this remind me of you. The colors and peace" he says rubbing his hand over my cheek. He bends over and grazes my cheek with his hand.
That statement resonates with my heart. In a few seconds, he is back to staring.
My mind drifts again. My hair is falling again. I try not to look at the strands in my hoodie or pillow in the mornings. But today in the bathroom mirror. I saw my thinning edges. So recognizable. I had better trim it all off before it gets worse.
This wasn't supposed to happen again. Not in my final year. Not when I was finally getting my life back. I had plans, Graduation, Traveling. Maybe moving out. Loving Liam better.
Now everything feels like it's on pause.
But I see how hard they're trying, Mom and Camila. I see it in the way Mom barely sleeps, always finding reasons to stay overnight. In the way Camila avoids eye contact when she's scared. How she tries to be sharp and calm like always, but I know her.
I remember how it was the first time it happened. I was scared my mother's blood pressure would rise again. I was so close to giving up. When the doctor said they might have a relapse. I went to church and I prayed, because I didn't know how I could go through something like this again. But here I am.
So this time, I smile more. I joke about the young doctor who came in earlier, he had an accent, looked like he belonged in a movie. I tell Mom and Camila about it just to make them laugh. I pretend it's funny even when I'm tired.
Because I know what is waiting.
And I don't think I'm going to make it this time.
It's just a feeling. Somewhere deep within. I am going to make the most of my time here. I promise and Liam's going to help me do that.
The sun is starting to dim. And flies are beginning to flock in. I tug at Liam's arm. "Let's go get some ice cream, then you can head up"
He raises a brow. "Ice cream before dinner?"
"Dying girl privilege."
He laughs. "Fair enough."
Then he adds, a bit softer this time. "If you asked for the moon, I'd try."
I smile, leaning into him as much as my body allows. My soft-spoken, stumbling, heart on his sleeve Liam.
And for now… that's enough.