It's been two weeks since I started staying at Elina's place, two weeks that passed quicker than a heartbeat. During that time, I was able to learn things about myself I didn't even realise they were part of me, the unfamiliar warmth of being at home that I hadn't felt in years, that glimpse of being cared for and being… loved.
Elina is such a beautiful soul, she is pure and kind in a way that makes me want to be better, to be someone I thought I could never be, her smile makes me want to belive in hope, but that's the problem. I'm not better, and being around her won't bring any good to her life , but only drag her into the chaos of mine, and i don't want to drown her dreams in the deep end of my mess, I can't let that happen, I won't.
The morning arrived, but sleep never did, the thoughts in my head were swirling like a storm that I couldn't escape and kept me up all night, what should I do?How do I tell her she's not safe with me?How do I walk away from the only person who's made me feel like I belong somewhere? Countless questions that tore me like claws, but no answers to be found.
I got up, washed my face, and made my side of the couch neat before heading to the kitchen, cooking breakfast had become my way of saying thank you, of showing that delicated soul that I cared even if I couldn't say it out loud. I cracked eggs, toasted bread and sliced fruit, my hands moving on autopilot while the thoughts in my mind raced, just as I was setting the table, the doorbell rang.
It was early, too early for visitors, glancing at the clock, I opened the door to find a delivery man holding a package. "For Elina Bennett," he said, handing it to me, when I took the package, my curiosity piqued, it was from Greece, the return address written in neat, familiar Last name, it was from her parents, I was putting it on the table when Elina walked into the kitchen, her hair a messy halo and that innocent face soft with sleep.
"Good morning," she said, her voice warm and sleepy when her eyes landed on the package, and her face lit up. "Oh! It's here!"
"What is it?" I asked, though I already had a guess.
She grinned, tearing to open the package with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning, in the inside was a beautifully wrapped gift and a card. She opened the card first, her eyes scanning the words before she looked up at me, her smile radiant.
"It's my birthday," she said, her voice filled with joy.
"I completely forgot with everything going on. My parents always send something."
I stared at her, my chest tightening. Her birthday, of course, how had I not known? How had she not told me? But then again, Elina wasn't the type to make a big deal about herself. She was too busy taking care of everyone else.
"Happy birthday," I said, my voice soft. "Why didn't you say anything?"
She shrugged, her cheeks pink. "I didn't want to make a fuss, but now that you know, you have to help me celebrate."
I nodded, a plan already forming in my mind. If this was going to be my last day with her, at least I should make it unforgettable. "Consider it done. Go get ready. We're spending the day in Florence."
We started our little adventure at the Piazza del Duomo, where the cathedral's towering beauty left us both in awe, Elina's eyes sparkled as she pointed out the intricate details of the architecture, her passion for design shining through, then we wandered through the Uffizi Gallery where her enthusiasm infectious as she explained the stories behind her favorite paintings.
We ate gelato by the Arno River, the sun setting in a blaze of gold and pink that made the city look like a painting, but the highlight of the day came in the evening. I'd slipped away earlier to a small jewelry shop I'd noticed during our walk, the necklace I'd chosen was simple yet beautiful, a delicate gold chain with a pendant that held two stones: one a deep, forest green, the other a warm hazel brown. Their colors reminded me of our eyes, a symbol of the connection we'd formed despite the odds.
As we stood on the Ponte Vecchio, the river shimmering below us, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small box.
"Elina," I said, my voice steady despite the storm of emotions inside me.
"I know today was supposed to be about you, but I wanted to give you something, you know , to thank you for… everything."
She looked at me, her eyes wide with surprise. "Marco, you didn't have to…"
"Open it," I interrupted, handing her the box.
She hesitated, then lifted the lid. Her breath caught as she saw the necklace, the stones catching the light. "Marco, it's so beautiful," she whispered, her voice trembling. "But… why?"
I took the necklace from the box, while stepping closer to her. "Because you've given me something I didn't think I'd ever have again, a home, a reason to believe in something good, and I wanted you to have something to remember me by."
Her eyes filled with tears as I fastened the necklace around her neck.
"Marco, I don't need a necklace to remember you, you're here right with me."
I couldn't respond, my heart was breaking at her words, knowing so well I need tolet her go before I get more attached to her warmth, that what my head was saying to me, but my heart have his own words, i didn't realise it, till I reached out, my hand brushing her cheek, while, her eyes searching mine, oh to those mezmerising eyes, they never failed to make me feel seen, to make my heart race in a way no other thing could, she leaned into my touch and without any second thought, I kissed her.
It was soft at first, the tentative kind, like neither of us was sure if it was realm, just then she kissed me back, her hands tangling in my hair and the world fell away. The city, the river, the chaos of my life, none of it mattered, in that moment, there was only her, Only us.
When we finally pulled apart, her cheeks were flushed, her lips curved into a smile that made my chest ache. "Marco," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "Don't leave my side, please."
I didn't answer, I couldn't, instead, I pulled her into my arms and held her like she was the only thing keeping me grounded, like she was the air I could breath, the calm night after all those storms, with all these feeling racing in me I wished I could stay, I wished I could belong next to that one person, for the first time in my life, i wanted that moment to last forever.
Our drive back was quiet, it wasn't the kind of silence that begged to be filled, but the kind that felt alive and safe, pulsing between glances and half-smiles. While her head resting on my shoulder her small hand found mine on the console, just for our fingers to get tangled, neither of us daring to pull away. The city lights slipped across her dolice face like a soft, moving constellations. While every red light felt like a small mercy and every turn like a delay from reality.
The moment we reached to her apartment, she hesitated at the door, the keys trembling just slightly in her hand. I didn't say a word, I just brushed a thumb over her knuckles, grounding her, grounding myself.
Inside, everything felt slower, starting from the way her perfume was still lingered in the air, warm and faintly sweet, to her hair that was falling loose over her shoulders like dusk unravelling when she turned to smile at me, as if even time had chosen to move gently around her. She looked up at me once, as if she was trying to memorize the moment before it changed, just the same as me, because I knew, we were both pretending not to be terrified of what was coming next to our door.
Just when the world outside had dimmed and the rain had begun to hum softly against the windows, Elina layed down beside me, it wasn't out of desire, but out of something quieter, deeper, just for a moment of stillness, or maybe for proof that we were both still here, and just by that, she fit against me like a memory that have been waiting for its return, while arm curved around her waist, her head rested on my chest and her hair brushing the hollow of my throat, we didn't speak, because in this moment words would have ruined that glimpse of what we had.
Just with that, and for the first time in years, I felt the ache in my chest ease, a little, and that heavy weight of everything — the names, the debts, the ghosts — all of it blurred until there was only her breathing, steady and soft.
I know that I shouldn't have stayed, that I shouldn't have wanted to, but as her fingers curled in the fabric of my shirt, I realized how much I missed being human, how much I wanted this, this warmth, this quiet, and that lie of peace, even if it was just for one night...
The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft golden glow over the room. Warmth surrounded me, soft, steady breaths against my chest, delicate fingers curled near my ribs, a presence so close, so safe, that for a brief selfish moment, I let myself believe I belonged here.
Elina.
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my eyes closed and pretending I was still asleep when I wasn't, my mind had been running in circles all night, replaying the same cruel truth, I had to leave, because staying here, staying with her, feeling her warmth, none of it was an option, not anymore.
Just while I was drowning in my thoughts, I felt her stir against me, her small delicated body shifting slightly, her breath hitching as she woke up, a soft and peaceful sigh left her lips, and before I could stop myself, I committed the sound to memory, yet before she could see it, I let the wall fall back into place.
Reaching up, her fingers were barely brushing my hair, I flinched before I could even stop myself.
"Good morning," she whispered, her voice laced with sleep, warm and inviting.
I forced that neutral expression and sat up, running one of my hands through my hair to busy myself.
"Morning," I muttered, my voice flat, cold.
She hesitated before sitting up too, while her eyes were trying to read me, I felt the weight of her gaze, the way she was trying to understand my thoughts, trying to figure out what had shifted overnight, but I couldn't give her answers she deserved, not yet.
Elina being Elina, didn't push, instead, she got up and moved to the kitchen, falling into our now-familiar routine. I followed a few minutes later, my movements stiff and calculated, we were cooking together, working around each other in practiced silence or more likely, a suffocating silence while the air between us was thick, charged with something unsaid. When we finally sat down, I couldn't eat, my stomach was in knots and my chest tight with the words I had to say.
I set my fork down and exhaled slowly. "Elina, can we talk."
She froze for half a second before carefully placing her fork beside her plate. "Okay," she said, her voice steady, still you could see the flicker of apprehension in her eyes.
I clenched my fists beneath the table. "I can't stay."
She inhaled sharply. "What?"
"It's not safe for you." My voice strained, raw.
"The more I'm staying in here, the more your life is put in risk, and I can't, I won't, do that to you."
Her chair scraped against the floor as she stood up, shaking her head. "No. No, you don't get to decide that for me."
"Elina…"
"No." Her voice cracked and it gutted me. "I know the situation is dangerous, but... but that doesn't mean you have to leave, you can't just do that!"
I stood too, running a frustrated hand down my face. "You don't understand."
"Then make me understand!"
I slammed my fist against the table, the sound sharp in the quiet apartment.
"If something happened to you because of me, I would never fucking forgive myself!"
She flinched but didn't back down. "And if you leave, I will never forgive you," she shot back, her eyes glassy, her breath uneven.
"Do you know what you've done to me? You've made me feel again. You've made me believe in something bigger than myself, you gave me hope, just for what? to rip that away in a second?"
I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply through my nose. My body was rigid, my hands trembling at my sides. I wanted to believe her. I wanted to be selfish. But I knew better.
"Elina," I said quietly, a desperate plea hidden beneath her name.
She reached for me, her fingers curling around my wrist. "Please, Marco."
I opened my eyes, and something inside me cracked.
"Okay," I murmured, my voice hoarse. "I'll stay."
Relief flooded her face, but before she could say anything, I held up a finger. "But if there's even the slightest hint of danger, I'm leaving. No arguments."
Her lip trembled, but she nodded. "Deal."
For now, that was enough.
The next few days passed in a blur of stolen moments and unspoken truths. The weight of my decision settled over me, but I let myself pretend, pretend that this wasn't temporary, that I could have this, that I could have her.
After another long day, we curled up on the couch decidng to watch a movie, some romance she'd picked, The Notebook I think, but I wasn't really paying attention because I was too focused on her, the way she fit against me, the scent of her lavender shampoo, those small fingers of hers absentmindedly traced patterns on my arm. I was losing myself in her, and it terrified me.
"You're quiet tonight," she murmured, tilting her head up to look at me.
I swallowed. "Just thinking."
"About what?"
"You," I admitted. "How lucky I am for, meeting you, for having you beside me."
Her breath hitched, her brown eyes searching mine. "Marco…"
I didn't let her finish, I couldn't, I kissed her instead, soft and slow while letting myself feel everything I'd been holding back. She melted against me, her hands tangling in my hair, pulling me closer, I deepened the kiss, pouring every unspoken word, every fear and every promise I couldn't make into it. I wanted this moment to last forever but forever wasn't an option.
The next morning, I woke before her, her head resting against my chest, her breathing soft and even, I allowed myself one last moment, to run my fingers through her hair, to press a kiss to her forehead before carefully slipping away. I pulled on my shoes and glanced at the door, ready to step out for groceries but then I saw it.
An envelope.
My blood ran cold as I picked it up, unfolding the note inside, the words scrawled across the paper sent ice through my veins:
-You can't run forever, Marco. If you care about her, you'll leave. Or else, she'll pay the price-
My hands trembled as I crumpled the note, my chest constricting with something between rage and fear, they found me, but now, Elina was in the palm of danger too, looking back at her, she was still curled up on the couch, blissfully unaware of the storm closing in around us. My jaw clenched because I knew this would happend and I knew it was only a matter of time bfore we get to this point because now I have no choice, only to leave...
Quietly, I grabbed my jacket and stepped out the door, my heart breaking with every step I took away from her, from my Elina