The book in his hands and the dull wooden floor gradually came into view as his consciousness returned. Cold and numb, yet feeling a deep pain inside, Dean grit his teeth.
"I have to save... have to save...must..."
Speaking was becoming difficult for him again. His mind was a haze, unable to construct any new coherent thoughts. His own thoughts and those that came from within the book — he was cursed to remember them both clearly. The two conflicting versions of himself warred for dominance within his already beaten mind.
He had to save them. It was the only thing he lived for. He had to save them. Why couldn't he save them. Why was he cursed not to save them?
"Cold..." He muttered to himself.
"Hehe."
A childish giggle. From behind.
"Having a good time, Dean? The story is swiftly reaching its climax. Only a few intsy weensy chapters to gooooo."
The hooded girl with pitch black hair, Tatiana, cooed at him as she placed an arm around his shoulders.
"It's a real pain, you know. But I suppose I gotta do it. Can't have you losing yourself completely and fading away on me now, can I?"
She grabbed his cheek and pushed his mouth towards hers, kissing him deeply.
It didn't feel right. In fact, it felt downright revolting, but it did serve to snap him back to his senses. He felt his mind becoming slightly more alert and his tiredness subsided somewhat.
Tatiana released him and looked down at him with a grim expression.
"Like I keep saying!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. "You aren't allowed to leave here, to leave me, do you understand? That goes just as much for checking out mentally as it does for physically leaving, you know."
The room fell back into silence, aside from the panting breaths coming from both of them. Tatiana walked over to a nearby table where a decanter filled with wine had popped into existence. She hurriedly poured a glass, spilling some of the wine on the dark wooden table before returning to Dean's side and sitting on the floor next to his chair.
For a long while, they sat in silence. Tatiana occasionally sipped her wine and watched him as he tried to sort out his own thoughts and memories.
The story he was reading. In it, he worked tirelessly to save his friends from the mad cult that had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. Despite his best efforts, he was failing, and not many of his friends remained alive or sane. All the while, the blizzard outside was getting worse and worse, trapping them on the mountain. He felt an intense urge to act, to do something to save the orphans, to save Cait and Matin. It was almost amusing, considering it actually had nothing to do with him, here in this colorless world.
"Who are they, those people?" He spoke aloud. It was a rhetorical question, spoken to himself to help him think. He knew very well who they were. What he was asking pertained to their nature, not their identity.
"You shouldn't concern yourself so much with them. They're just a bunch of the worst people imaginable. All of them."
Tatiana looked up at him with her single eye.
"You should just abandon them. Oh wait, what am I saying?" She chuckled, taking another sip of wine. "You can't resist trying to save them, can you? You are compelled to save them."
Tatiana's voice was full of amusement, and she couldn't resist falling into a fit of giggles.
"Have to save... them." Dean said, rubbing his forehead with a little more force than necessary. "Hey, Tatiana."
"What is it, Dean?" She asked, her voice like a sweet melody.
"Can I save them? Can I save those who are left?"
Tatiana remained silent for some time. She raised the glass to her mouth and downed the remaining contents in one go before slamming the glass on the floor, making a loud bang and shattering it. She got to her feet and looked at him.
"Can you save them?" She asked, putting a finger to her mouth. "Can you save them? Hmmmm."
She paced back and forward for a moment before stopping and looking at him with a huge, wide smile that reminded Dean of a grinning skull.
"Of course you can't, you fool!" she screamed.
She quickly approached him and leaned towards him until their faces were almost touching.
"Haven't you learned by now? You can't save anyone, and you never will. No matter what happens, and no matter what you try. You. Will. Not. Be. Able. To. Save. Them!"
Her single eye stared deeply into his as she laughed and shouted a variety of insults in his direction. His mind was racing. What was she saying? What was she saying?
"All the lives you have lived and all the people you have met. Do you see them here? Are they at your side? Why do you think you are even here, Dean?"
Her words came faster, and they almost sounded like an animal, garbled and rough. Spittle was flying from her mouth and rolling down her cheeks. The noise would not stop.
"Save... I will...."
"You can keep trying, but all you're doing is trying to dig a hole in water... what did you say?" Tatiana asked.
"I have to save!!!" he screamed, bolting to his feet and tackling Tatiana to the ground. He grabbed her wrists so she wouldn't be able to move. He held them as tightly as he could, hoping that it would inflict pain on her. The action was a reflex to all her poisoned words with no actual thought or intent behind it. She simply smiled at him in turn.
"My, my. Seems I might have been too heavy-handed with it. Well, no matter." She looked up at him calmly.
"So, what are you going to do, Dean. Kill me? Torture me? Or do something filthy to me?" She asked, sticking out her tongue.
He could do it. He could destroy this frail creature. Make her know suffering. He had the strength to do so. He knew he did. Taking one hand away from her arm, he brought it to her neck and began to squeeze.
She coughed and choked, and yet, her smile didn't vanish. In fact, she began to stroke his cheek with her free hand, a loving gesture.
Get away from me, beggar!
A flash of a distant, long forgotten memory. A memory that brought pain and froze his muscles.
What was he doing? He removed his hands, and her smile faded away.
"Boring."
He was sent flying back into a nearby wall. The last thing he saw was Tatiana getting to her feet, a bitter look on her face.
Sometime later, his consciousness returned, and he found himself sitting in his reading chair, Tatiana standing above him, her arms crossed.
"Good. About time you woke up." She said with a smile.
"What happened?"
"Oh, nothing, I just smashed you into the wall by accident. You made such a stinking mess too."
Dean looked back to find the nearby wall covered in blood and viscera. Feeling his heart beat rapidly in his chest, he looked down at himself and was surprised to find himself whole.
"Might have used a bit too much force, oopsie." She said, sticking her tongue out at him.
Dean let out a long breath. He didn't feel like thinking too much about it. Luckily, the entire ordeal had calmed him down a little.
"Have you snapped out of it then?" Tatiana asked.
He nodded.
"Sorry. The book, it..." He trailed off.
"I'm aware. You got so absorbed in the 'you' of the book that you lost yourself and forgot about the real reason you are here."
Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was embarrassing that, even after all these years, he could still lose himself in such an unsightly way. He clearly had a long way to go. She was right. He must never forget why he was there. The favor she was doing for him.
"I was so scared, you know." Tatiana continued, imitating the voice of a child and looking at him with a fearful expression.
"The only thing that scares you is keeping your mouth shut for more than five seconds." Dean muttered.
Tatiana narrowed her eye for a moment before breaking out into a laugh.
"Excellent, you seem to be back to your old self at long last. Does that mean you're ready to continue reading?" She asked.
Dean nodded. He had come this far. He had an obligation to see the story through to the end. The people within it deserved that much at the very least. They deserved to see their ending, happy or otherwise.
"Not too much left to go," he said, looking down at the remaining pages.
"As always, I'll be here, waiting by your side and reading along with you. Do try to enjoy the ending, Dean," Tatiana whispered into his ear.
Giving her what he hoped was his most confident smile, he took the book in his hands and turned to the next page.