A person in a white lab coat approached me, sat down, and said, "Seeing those strange memories in your head again?"
I gently nodded and offered no reply. The person didn't ask further, just sat beside me.
I stood up and stretched, walking step by step on the lawn of the mental hospital. In my vision, she appeared again and smiled at me, her gentle voice echoing in my mind: "Is it fake? Do you really think it's fake?"
He looked at the statue of the walking man, then gave a light, cheerful smile and said, "That's an actor. See? A statue is smoother, not grainy like this."
She nodded and rested her hand on her chin as if contemplating something, then looked at him and said, "I know, shall we go shopping?"
His face went slightly blank, and he said, "I thought you were reasoning something out to contradict me, but it turned out you were just thinking about where to go next."
She gently lay down on the large white mattress and closed her eyes. She whispered, "I really want to buy this. Shall we get it? What do you think? I think our mattress at home is old now."
I nodded slightly and gently helped her sit up from the hospital bed. I gently said, "You should lie down a bit longer; you're tired."
With her slightly frail body, her eyes still sparkled as she looked at me. She smiled softly and said, "It's okay, I want to sit up. Lying down for too long is uncomfortable."
She gently reached out her thin arm to touch my face and said in a slightly weak voice, "You're the one who needs to rest more, Thành. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Look, your eyes have dark circles. Are you having trouble sleeping?"
I gently shook my head, held her hand, and smiled, "I'm fine. I sleep very well. It's just that I have a little difficulty falling asleep sometimes, that's all."
I nodded to the doctor and said, "It's true that I lack some sleep. I keep waking up with a start from those memory dreams. I don't understand, Doctor, why do I have those memories? When will I be cured?"
The person in the blue coat sat on the swivel chair. He gently shook his head and said, "I don't know either, but you'll be fine. I've used the best methods available. Perhaps you are just having false memories due to constant high-stress work. You don't need to worry too much. Just take your medicine and relax gently."
I nodded and said, "Understood, Doctor."
She gently held my hand, and her gentle voice affectionately comforted me: "Don't worry, everything will be fine. You won't see me anymore soon."
My hands trembled slightly, but I managed to control them. I knew it was fake, but why did it feel so real? I didn't understand why... Oh well, it's all just fake. That must be it, right?
He picked up a set of a shirt combined with a khaki overall dress and gave it to her. In the fitting room, she looked around, then pulled down the zipper of her dress. She shed the white dress, put on the new outfit, and then pulled the curtain open for him to see. She smiled at him and asked, "Do you think I look beautiful?"
He nodded, smiled, and said, "Very beautiful. Do you want to try on another outfit?"
She nodded and replied, "I'll leave it to you then. Thank you."
I carried her from the hospital bed. In my arms, her eyes were slightly sad, and her head was bowed low. Seeing this, I lightly kissed her forehead and said, "It's okay. You don't need to be sad. I don't mind at all."
She didn't say anything. I gently placed her down on a small stool in the bathroom. I gently reached behind her to unbutton her shirt. Her hand gently grasped mine, and she said, "Let me do it."
She slowly and gently used her thin, slightly trembling hands to unfasten each button on the blue shirt. She undid them very slowly, but I thought this was already a great improvement. She could unbutton her own shirt now.
I gently took the shirt and folded it neatly onto the shelf. I took a basin and filled it with warm water from the tap. I gently offered it to her so she could feel the warmth. She gently nodded and said, "That's fine, Thành."
I lightly used a soft white towel and dipped it in the warm water. I wrung it out thoroughly, then gently offered it to her to wipe her face. I took another towel, dipped it in warm water, and placed the towel on her frail body. Her bones were clearly visible, as if only skin covered bone. I gently traced every part of her skin. I put the towel down and softly asked, "May I remove your underwear?"
She gently nodded. I then removed her bra, then her panties. I had to lift her legs slightly high, which made her wince and emit a weak whimper. I gently comforted her, "I'm sorry. Bear with it a little longer, okay? I'll go buy you panties with ties tomorrow."
Tears gently fell onto my hand as I wiped her body. Her eyes were crying but were no longer red; they were a distinct light black color. She spoke through sobs, but because she was weak, it sounded like the cry of a person whose bones were missing: "You should give up on me, Thành. You. should. leave me. I. I am hopeless. And.. dragging you down too. I'm sorry... I'm. sorry."
I continued to wipe her body. I paused, then gently picked up a new soft towel and wiped the tears from her eyes. I smiled softly and said, "Crying doesn't look good. And I don't mind at all. Consider this my practice for taking care of you when you're old."
She managed a weak laugh, and on her thin face, there was a glimmer of light. I smiled and asked her, "Shall I wash your head?"
She nodded. I gently lifted her wig. Beneath the soft wig was a bare, shaven scalp. I used a wet towel to wipe it gently, then used a dry towel to dry the wet skin on her head. I did it very quickly, then placed the wig back on her.
I gently put on her new clothes, fastening each button. I lightly carried her out of the bathroom, gently placed her on the bed, and picked up the comb from the table. As I combed her hair, I said, "I'll take you outside in a bit, Bạch Linh. How does that sound? Do you want to go?"
She gently looked out the window, where a large paved courtyard, along with large green trees, could be seen. Beneath them were people in white coats, and people who looked like her. She gently nodded and said, "Thank you."
I gently lifted her onto the wheelchair and pushed her out of the patient room.
She sat with him on the rickshaw, the gentle light reflecting softly on her face. He sat beside her, lightly holding her hand, and he said, "Today was fun, wasn't it?"
A smile appeared on her lips, and she said, "Yes, it was a lot of fun."
She watched as rickshaws like hers passed by. Her eyes slightly closed, and she said, "Let's go sit by that tree over there, Thành."
Hearing that, I pushed her towards the long bench under the tree. I gently asked her, "Do you want to sit?"
She nodded. I gently placed a soft cushion onto the bench, then lifted her and set her onto the cushion. Her eyes held a trace of sadness as she looked at the people in patient clothes walking by. She quietly said, "How wonderful, isn't it, Thành? I never thought there would be a time when being able to walk would be a wish. It's strange."
I gently held her hand and said, "Yes, it is strange. But this small wish of yours will come true. I am sure of it."
She turned to look at me with sorrowful eyes, but this time, I saw her happiness within them.
She smiled gently and said, "It will definitely come true, won't it?"
I replied to her with a firm voice, "It definitely will, absolutely will."
With a dubious expression, I looked at the two men in patient clothes standing with their arms crossed in front of me. I quietly asked, "What are you two doing?"
One man immediately offered a panda-shaped steamed bun and said, "You really like steamed buns, right? I see you often eat panda-shaped ones at noon."
I intended to shake my head, but then I looked at the image of her intently gazing at the steamed bun. I took the bun and said, "Thank you."
I took bites of the steamed bun, swallowing them under the observation of the two men. I felt the sweet flavor of the bun in my mouth. I smiled, looking at her image as she rubbed her stomach and smiled back at me.
I looked at the image of her sitting on the bench and quietly asked, "I'm going to the restroom for a moment."
I stood up and walked into the mental hospital restroom. At the toilet bowl, I bent down and spat a pill from my mouth into the bowl. My eyelids felt heavy. I walked out, staggering slightly, towards the sink. I turned on the faucet and drank large gulps of water, then repeatedly forced myself to vomit, throwing up everything I had just eaten. After vomiting, I felt a little better. I cupped my hands, caught some water, and washed my face. I took a deep breath to regain my composure, then walked out of the restroom.