The next morning began with birds singing, dew glistening, and Kim Taehun realizing he had slept on a rock.
"Ugh—my spine feels like it just got divorced," he groaned, rolling over and nearly faceplanting into the dirt. The ground was cold, the air crisp, and somewhere nearby, a rooster—or whatever passed as a rooster in this world—was screaming like a dying trumpet.
He sat up, rubbing his neck. "Note to self: reincarnate next time with a mattress."
Yue Rin, who had been quietly meditating nearby, opened one eye. "You mortals are truly fragile."
He squinted. "Yeah? Well, we're also charming, witty, and don't stab things for fun."
"I do not stab for fun," she said calmly, tying her silver hair into a neat braid. "I stab for efficiency."
"Right," Taehun muttered. "Big difference."
They were in the Azure Moon Sect's outer fields—a training area filled with wooden dummies, practice platforms, and far too many people who looked like they hadn't smiled in decades. Disciples moved in synchronized drills, swords flashing like waves in sunlight.
Taehun, meanwhile, was struggling to figure out how to tie the sash around his borrowed robes.
"Why does this belt have so many holes?" he muttered, twisting the fabric like a lost origami artist.
A passing disciple stopped to stare. "...Are you fighting your robe?"
"Yes," Taehun said seriously. "And losing."
The disciple blinked and backed away slowly.
> [System Notification: Host's dignity -10 points] [Hidden Title Acquired: "Cloth Combatant"]
Taehun groaned. "Oh shut up, you glorified calculator."
> [Reminder: The System has feelings too.]
"Then your feelings suck."
By midday, Yue Rin led him toward the Outer Disciples' Hall—a wide courtyard surrounded by pavilions, each filled with curious onlookers. The news had spread: a mortal had entered the sect grounds without dying.
Disciples whispered as he passed.
"Is that him?" "He doesn't even have qi flow!" "I heard he defeated a demonic boar with a stick." "No way. He must've bribed a spirit beast."
Yue Rin ignored them all, but Taehun leaned toward her. "Do they always gossip like this, or am I just special?"
"You are… unique," she admitted carefully.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"It wasn't."
Inside the hall, a stern man with graying hair and a sword across his back greeted them. His aura was so sharp it felt like standing next to a blender made of divine energy.
"This is the mortal?" he asked flatly.
"Yes, Elder," Yue Rin said, bowing. "He appeared in the forest yesterday. He… assisted in the slaying of a demonic beast."
Taehun gave an awkward wave. "Yo."
The Elder's eyebrow twitched. "...Yo?"
"Sorry. It's a… mortal greeting. Very respectful where I come from."
> [System Note: That is a lie.]
"Shh!" Taehun hissed under his breath.
The Elder narrowed his eyes. "You speak to yourself?"
"Only when the voices start it first."
"...I see."
Yue Rin pinched the bridge of her nose. "Elder, may I request he be allowed to stay as a servant or… assistant? He is untrained, but—"
"Denied," the Elder interrupted. "The Azure Moon Sect is no place for mortals."
Taehun crossed his arms. "Hey, I may not have qi, but I've got heart."
> [System Alert: False Statement Detected.] [Correction: Host has below-average motivation levels.]
"NOT HELPING!"
The Elder frowned. "...He argues with the air."
Taehun exhaled sharply. "Okay, fine! I'll prove myself. Give me a test."
That earned a murmur from the crowd. Even Yue Rin blinked in surprise.
"You wish to take the Outer Sect Trial?" the Elder asked, amused.
"Yup. Whatever that is."
A few hours later
Taehun stood at the edge of a massive circular arena. Around him, disciples gathered like it was a festival. Banners waved. Someone was already selling steamed buns.
Yue Rin stood beside him, whispering urgently. "You don't understand. The Trial isn't easy. You'll face the Spirit Gauges. They measure your physical strength, spiritual potential, and mental stability."
"Okay, easy enough."
"They can explode if you fail."
"...Less easy."
> [System Notification: Host has chosen Dumb Confidence as temporary buff.] [Effect: +5% charisma, -20% common sense.]
He stretched his arms. "Let's do this."
The Elder gestured. Three glowing stones floated before him—each pulsing with faint light.
"Place your hand on the first crystal. If you are truly worthy, it will glow."
Taehun stepped forward. The crowd leaned in.
He pressed his palm to the first crystal.
Nothing happened.
The silence was deafening.
"...Maybe it's broken?" he said hopefully.
The crystal suddenly shattered.
The crowd gasped.
> [System Alert: Host's unstable life energy caused overload.] [Accidental success recorded.]
The Elder's eyes widened. "...Impossible."
Taehun turned to Yue Rin. "See? I told you I was special."
"You nearly detonated a spiritual relic!"
He grinned. "Tomato, tomahto."
The second test was physical. A large bronze dummy stood before him.
"To pass," said the Elder, "you must strike with all your strength."
Taehun nodded, cracked his neck, and whispered, "System, uh… give me some of that Beginner's Luck thing again?"
> [Denied. Cooldown: 47 hours.]
"...Of course."
He took a stance he'd seen in action movies and swung a punch.
CLANG!
The dummy didn't move. His knuckles screamed.
"OW OW OW—!"
The crowd laughed. Even the Elder smirked.
Then—crack.
The dummy's chest caved inward, leaving a perfect fist imprint.
The laughter stopped.
Yue Rin's jaw dropped. "What…?"
Taehun blew on his fist dramatically. "See that? That's the power of sheer disbelief."
> [System Analysis: Structural weakness in dummy. Host luck stat exceeded probability threshold.] [Translation: You broke it by accident.]
"Hey, a win's a win."
The final test was mental.
He was told to meditate in front of a mirror of spirit—a tool that reflected one's true mind.
He sat cross-legged, exhaled, and tried to "feel the qi." Nothing. So he just thought about food.
Suddenly, the mirror shimmered—and projected an image of… fried chicken.
The disciples gasped.
"His inner spirit… is poultry?"
Taehun shrugged. "Hey, don't judge. Chicken saved lives where I come from."
> [System Comment: Host has achieved Zen-level focus on appetite.] [Awarded Title: 'Culinary Sage (F Rank)']
When the tests ended, everyone was too confused to protest his entry. The Elder sighed deeply, rubbing his temples.
"...Fine. By some miracle—or absurd coincidence—you have passed."
Taehun raised his arms in victory. "Let's gooo! Kim Taehun, Outer Disciple!"
The crowd murmured in disbelief. Yue Rin hid a smile behind her sleeve.
> [System Update: Host registered as Azure Moon Sect Outer Disciple.] [System Functionality: 5% → 9%] [New Quest: Survive One Week Without Dying of Stupidity.]
Taehun blinked. "Excuse me?"
> [Side Quest: 'Try Not to Die' has been added to your log.]
He groaned. "Great. Even my system thinks I'm a hazard."
Later that night, Taehun lay on his straw bed, staring at the wooden ceiling. The air smelled faintly of herbs and incense. Somewhere, Yue Rin was probably meditating under the moonlight, looking elegant and composed.
He, meanwhile, was trying to figure out if he could use System Points to buy a pillow.
> [No.]
"...I hate you."
> [Love you too.]
He smiled faintly despite himself. "Yeah… maybe this won't be so bad."
Outside, the moon hung bright over the Azure Peaks, and the wind carried faint laughter from the sect's dorms.
The boy who once begged the heavens for a refund was now part of a world he never imagined—armed with sarcasm, luck, and a system that barely worked.
Tomorrow, his Re-Life would truly begin.