"Why do we have to do this quest?" Shoun groaned, dragging his feet behind Kazuma. "I can name, like, a million others that don't involve near-death by frog!"
Beside him, Aqua yawned, twirling her staff lazily. "Kazuma, Shoun's right! Why now, when we could be celebrating? I heard a new wine just arrived in Axel—we should totally check it out!"
Kazuma turned, smiling in that very dangerous, sparkly way only he could.
"Ah yes, celebrate. Great idea. Tell me, O wise goddess—how do you propose we do that, when you spent all our money on bubbly wine last month?"
Aqua froze mid-step, her face twisting. "T-that was for team morale!"
Kazuma's smile widened. "Our morale died with our wallet."
Before she could snap back, a heavy thumping echoed from ahead. The sound made the three instantly freeze.
In a flash, Aqua gripped her staff, Kazuma drew his sword, and Shoun—stood there empty-handed.
'I really should've gotten a weapon,' Shoun thought, swallowing hard.
They crouched low behind a small hill, peeking out carefully.
Two giant frogs hopped lazily in the clearing ahead.
"Yosh," Kazuma whispered, smirking. "Only two. No others in sight."
Aqua nodded seriously, crouching beside him. "Before we charge in, we need a proper plan."
Kazuma and shoun blinked.'Wait... Aqua? Talking strategy? Since when does she have a serious mode?'
They stared at her in disbelief. 'Is this the real Aqua... or just a very convincing look-alike?' they thought simultaneously.
Shaking away his thoughts, Shoun's expression turned serious.
"Yeah, Aqua's right. So… what's the plan?"
Both he and Kazuma looked at her expectantly.
Aqua crossed her arms with a proud grin. "Hmph! The plan is…"
She paused dramatically. Kazuma and Shoun leaned in closer, eyes sharp with anticipation.
"...We fight it head-on! And once we win, we'll be the most popular adventurers in Axel!" she declared with sparkling confidence.
She began acting out her imagined praise, her voice changing with every line:
"Oh my goddess Aqua, you're amazing!"
"Ms. Aqua, please let me join your party!"
"Aqua-sama, you're my idol!"
Her little performance ended with a heroic pose, eyes shining with delusion.
Kazuma and Shoun just stared at her, mouths agape.
Then, almost in sync, they both fell backward onto the ground.
"Unbelievable…" Kazuma groaned.
"...We're doomed," Shoun muttered.
" Hmph! Well, let me show you how a goddess like me moves!" Aqua declared proudly, marching toward the toads with exaggerated confidence.
Shoun's eyes widened. " Wait—Aqua! What are you—"
He felt a tug on his sleeve. Turning around, he saw Kazuma shaking his head with a dead-serious face.
'She's not worth saving, bro. Let her cook.'
Kazuma even gave a mock look of pity, as if attending her funeral early.
" Aqua! Aqua! Aqua!! " the two chanted sarcastically, waving imaginary flags as she approached the enemies.
Stopping a few meters away, Aqua posed dramatically. " Yoshi! Watch carefully! I'll show you how a real goddess wins! "
She inhaled deeply, pulling her arm back. Flames erupted around her fist as she struck a stance worthy of an anime opening.
" Divine Punch! "
She launched forward, her punch blazing with crimson fire—wind bursting outward as nearby grass and pebbles scattered from the shockwave.
Then—silence. Her confident grin vanished.
" OPEN WIDE!"
The toad obeyed. Its mouth gaped open and swallowed Aqua whole, head to knees, leaving only her flailing legs visible.
Kazuma's face went blank. " …Of course."
He sighed, standing up and unsheathing his tiny dagger. " Let's go, Shoun."
Shoun blinked, still processing the absurdity. " R-right! " he replied, rushing after him.
Kazuma charged forward with a desperate yell, his dagger gleaming—
Then immediately tripped in the mud, narrowly dodging the frog's kick.
" Gah! Why is it always so persistent?!"
" Stay still!" Shoun shouted, thrusting his hand forward.
" Gate of Babylon!"
" Chains of Heaven!"
Two golden ripples shimmered behind him, and from their depths, radiant chains shot forth like bolts of light. They wrapped around the frog's thick legs, tightening until the creature could no longer move.
" Nice!" Kazuma said, genuinely impressed.
Spotting his chance, he shouted, " Don't move, Aqua!" and sprinted toward the frog's massive mouth.
The toad thrashed violently, but the golden chains held fast—unyielding, almost divine in their grip.
" M-Mr. Kazuma, help meee!" Aqua wailed, her legs still flailing from the frog's mouth.
" Hold still, you useless goddess! " he snapped, leaping up and bringing his dagger down in a sharp arc.
The blade sliced through the frog's tongue with a wet shlick, and Aqua tumbled free, rolling across the dirt in a slimy heap.
Kazuma landed beside her, panting, narrowly avoiding the creature's retaliating snap.
" Finish it now!" Shoun called out, beads of sweat forming on his brow as the chains pulsed even more
"My mana's being drained by the second."
Kazuma clenched his dagger, glancing back at Shoun's trembling stance—and then at the immobilized frog still croaking weakly.
" Alright then," he muttered, tightening his grip. " Time to earn our reward. " He slashed the frogs neck ending it's life.
"Phew…" Shoun exhaled in relief as the chains dissolved into golden light, vanishing back into the ripples behind him. The frog collapsed with a dull thud, finally still.
He walked over, catching his breath. "Nice job, Kazuma," he said, flashing a tired grin before glancing at Aqua—who sat slumped on the ground, drenched in slime.
"…But I don't think she's okay," he added awkwardly.
Before he could say more, Aqua suddenly lunged forward, tears streaming down her face.
"Kazuma-san! Kazuma-san! Thank you sooo much!" she wailed, clinging to his arm like a lost child.
Kazuma stared blankly, his face the very picture of exhaustion.
"Yes, yes… your savior is here," he muttered dryly, patting her head with the enthusiasm of a man questioning his life choices.
Back at the guild, the trio sat quietly in the corner. Their heads drooped low, eyes half-lidded, as if their very souls had left their bodies. The air around them carried a depressing scent of defeat.
They had just come back a few hours ago, slumped and ready for a meal after receiving the quest's reward.
But fate had other plans.
"...Kazuma, have you decided what to order?" Shoun asked weakly, still staring at the table.
"No, I haven't. What about you, Aqua…?" Kazuma replied, pointing lazily toward her.
None of them spoke after that. The loud chatter of adventurers filled the room, completely contrasting their gloom.
Then, from the corner of Shoun's weary gaze, a sign caught the light:
Newly Painted Seats!
...
Without warning, Shoun slammed his fist on the table. "Why—why this seat in particular, After our hard earned battle this is what we get...?" he muttered, a single tear rolling down his cheek.
"I just got these new clothes…"
The three sat frozen in silence, the reality sinking in, until finally—
A loud voice boomed from behind them, snapping them out of their misery.
"This must be destiny of the universe that has brought us here!"
A loud, childlike voice erupted in their eardrums.
The three turned their heads.
A girl dressed in a very conspicuous red mage outfit appeared before them, paired with a large hat. She held her staff proudly in front of her.
"I am Megumin, a mage. And the strongest explosion magic spellcaster in the whole world!"
She proclaimed it proudly, showing off her accessories as proof.
The three, still dumbfounded, stared at her in silence.
The quiet lingered—until Shoun spoke first.
"Umm, well… wow. What a great performance. Are you perhaps lost, little one—"
A tick mark appeared on her forehead.
"Y-you dare call me little?! I am the greatest and most powe—"
Her words were cut off abruptly as she collapsed to the ground, face-first.
Shoun reacted immediately, clutching her in his arms.
"Are you okay?! Are you okay?!"
He repeated it again and again, shaking Megumin's body as tears welled up in his eyes.
"She's dead, Kazuma! She's dead!"
He cried out to Kazuma, panic written all over his face.
Kazuma sighed. " Uh… Shoun. I think she's just hungry…"
Shoun froze.
He slowly looked down at the ghost-pale Megumin, who weakly muttered,
"I'm… hungry…"