Adrian came back to the present with tears streaming down his face.
"I remember," he whispered. "I remember taking the blame. I remember your smile when I came back the next day."
Kieran's hand found his, threading their fingers together. "You always did that. Always protected me, even when I was supposed to protect you."
"We were friends for years, weren't we? Best friends."
"Eight years," Kieran confirmed. "From that day until... until I turned eighteen."
Adrian turned to look at him. "That's when everything changed?"
"Show me," Adrian said. "I need to see it all."
FLASHBACK - 1,017 Years Ago
The River, Late Summer
Seventeen-year-old Kieran floated on his back in the river, eyes closed against the setting sun. Beside him, fifteen-year-old Elias was talking about his plans to travel.
"Uncle says I have a gift for metalwork. I could apprentice in the capital, or maybe even sail to the western territories. Can you imagine, Kieran? Seeing the ocean? Lands where no one knows us or cares about titles and stations?"
Kieran listened to Elias's voice—had it always been this melodic?—and felt something shift in his chest. He opened his eyes and looked at his best friend.
The sun turned Elias's wet hair to copper and gold. His eyes sparkled with dreams and possibilities. He was beautiful, Kieran realized with a jolt. When had Elias become beautiful?
"You're staring," Elias said, splashing water at him.
"Sorry, I was just thinking—" Kieran stopped. I was thinking that I don't want you to leave. I was thinking that the idea of you being anywhere I'm not makes me want to tear the world apart. I was thinking that I love you.
"Thinking what?"
"Nothing. Just that whoever you apprentice with will be lucky to have you."
Elias's smile dimmed slightly. "You could come with me, you know. We could run away together. You hate it here anyway, with your father's expectations and the marriage proposals—"
"I can't," Kieran said, his throat tight. "I'm the heir. I have responsibilities."
"Right. Responsibilities." Elias turned away. "I forgot."
The sun set in silence between them, and Kieran wondered why doing the right thing felt so much like dying.
Six Months Later - Kieran's 18th Birthday
The feast was elaborate and suffocating. Noble families from neighboring provinces attended, all with unmarried daughters they paraded in front of Kieran. He smiled politely, danced when expected, and felt nothing.
Across the hall, Elias stood in servant's clothes, carrying trays of wine. Their eyes met, and Elias jerked his head toward the gardens.
Kieran waited exactly ten minutes before excusing himself.
He found Elias by the koi pond, moonlight painting him in silver.
"This is torture," Kieran said. "Watching them fawn over you. My father has already chosen three potential brides."
"Then choose one," Elias said, his voice sharp. "Marry her. Have heirs. Do your duty."
"I don't want any of them."
"Then what do you want, Kieran?" Elias turned to face him, and there was something desperate in his eyes. "Because I'm going insane. I'm leaving in a month. Uncle found me an apprenticeship in Guangzhou. I'll be gone, and you'll marry some nobleman's daughter, and that will be the end of us."
"Elias—"
"Unless you tell me not to go. Unless you tell me that the last eight years meant something more than friendship. Unless you tell me that I'm not the only one who's been falling in love so slowly I didn't notice until it was too late."
The words hung between them like a held breath.
Kieran closed the distance between them in three strides. He grabbed Elias's face and kissed him.
It was clumsy and desperate and perfect. Elias made a sound—surprise or relief or joy—and kissed back, his hands fisting in Kieran's formal robes.
When they finally broke apart, both breathing hard, Kieran pressed his forehead to Elias's.
"I've been waiting for you to figure it out," Elias whispered, echoing what he'd say in the memory. "I've been in love with you since I was twelve years old."
"We can't—" Kieran started.
"We can. We'll run away. Tonight, if you want. Or in a month when I leave for Guangzhou. Come with me, Kieran. Choose me."
Kieran looked into those warm brown eyes and made his decision.
"Always," he said. "I choose you. Always."