Kai Langford - September 2120
As soon as the car stops, I swing the door open and lift Ethan out. His body is heavy but limp in my arms, and my chest tightens in a way I can't shake. I move fast but controlled, shadows curling subtly at my feet as if they are ready to attack anything that could come and hurt him again.
The school doors opens as I near, and Jack steps out. His eyes widen at the sight of Ethan in my arms, panic flashing across his face.
"What happened?" he asks, voice sharp.
I don't answer. I just keep moving, my boots echoing in the corridor. I glance down at Ethan. His skin is pale, sweat slicking his temples, and his breathing shallow and uneven.
Sophie has to help him. She has to.
We reach the nurse's office, but I don't knock. My boot collides with the door and it swings open.
"What-?" Sophie jumps, pens clattering to the floor.
I step past her, placing Ethan gently on the bed. My fingers linger on his arm, just to make sure he's still real, still here.
"You need to help him" I say, voice tight. "Please."
Sophie moves with practiced precision. She checks him over, noting there's no visible injury.
"What happened?" she asks again, eyes wide.
"I don't know" I murmur. "He accidentally touched… that woman. Then he screamed and dropped in pain."
Sophie starts checking his pulse, rolling up her sleeves, placing a hand on his chest. I kneel beside the bed, body tense, ready to act. I'm supposed to be the one protecting him... but I couldn't. My chest tightens, guilt clawing up my throat.
Ethan's head tilts toward us, eyes closed, red-rimmed from crying. I watch every shallow breath, every twitch, and I feel my control slip. Shadows flicker nervously at my feet as if they sense my turmoil.
I thought I could keep him safe. I thought I could handle anything. But right now… I failed. My hands tighten into fists, my jaw aches from clenching. I can't bear it.
"I'm sorry" I whisper under my breath, but the words feel hollow.
Sophie works calmly, speaking softly to Ethan, coaxing him back. I watch and feel a weight pressing down, crushing me. My chest aches. My throat burns. I should be the one helping, but all I can do is stand there and watch him in someone else's hands.
I step back, my legs heavy... I can't stay here. I can't watch any longer. The panic, the helplessness, the guilt… it's too much.
I leave the room quietly, ignoring the confused glance from Sophie, ignoring Jack who followed us here, ignoring the world. I make it to my bedroom, slam the door, and lock it. The sound of the click echoes like finality.
I collapse against the floor leaning against the bed, my back sliding down. Shadows stretch around me, dark and enveloping, mirroring the emptiness inside.
I didn't protect him. I wasn't fast enough.
I look down at my hands. They're trembling, fingers shaking like they have a life of their own.
My mind drifts back to the forest. Ethan screaming, clutching his hair, pain twisting every line of his face. And all I could do… all I could do was stand there and watch.
I run my hands through my hair, grip it tightly, and feel my breaths coming faster, heavier. My chest aches, tight like I'm trying to hold in something that won't stay contained.
I reach across to the bedside drawer, fumbling, and pull out the medication Thomas gave me. I haven't touched them since he handed them to me. I'd promised myself I'd be careful, keep it hidden from Ethan. I didn't want him to know. Didn't want him to worry about me.
But now… everything feels too much.
I try to open the bottle, my hands shaking so badly that I snap the lid. Pills spill across the floor, rolling into shadows that cling to the edges of the room. I swear the sound of them hitting the ground echoes in my head. Frustration claws at me until control slips entirely.
My shadows move before I do. A wave of darkness bursts from my fingertips, slamming against the wall. The impact tears a deep gash, wood splintering, and the shelves give way. Ethan's books scatter across the floor.
I fall forward, pressing my face into my hands, trying to steady the chaos inside me. My body shakes. I try to focus on my breathing, on the steady rhythm I usually force myself into. But my mind keeps returning to Ethan, his voice, begging me to make it stop when there was nothing I could do. Nothing.
And then another memory surfaces, sharp and cruel. Noah, bleeding in my arms, eyes closed. Another person I care about more than anything, someone I swore I'd protect, and I failed him too. My chest tightens, guilt and shame coiling like a serpent around my ribs.
I slump further into myself, shadows crawling along the floor, edges of the room darkening as if sensing my despair. I want to punish something, anything, for this helplessness. My fingers dig into my hair.
Shadows pulse around me, alive and restless, reflecting the chaos inside. They want to lash out, to vent the rage I can't voice, but even they hesitate, sensing the rawness of my grief.
I don't even know how long I'd been sitting there in the dark. Time felt… meaningless, swallowed by shadows and the weight pressing down on my chest. Then, suddenly, the door creaks open.
I froze. I swore I locked it.
I lift my head, and my chest tightens when my eyes meet Ethan standing there. Relief hits me first, warm and sharp, and then guilt crashes in like a wave.
"You shouldn't be out of the infirmary," is all I can manage, voice rough as I look back to the floor.
"Funny" he murmurs, taking careful steps closer. "Sophie said the same thing. You're both very bossy."
He keeps coming until he crouches at my level, hands resting lightly on my knees. The warmth of him sends a strange comfort through me, though it barely scratches the surface of the storm inside.
He reaches to brush the hair from my face, and I can't look at him. If I do, I feel like I'll break entirely.
I sense him glancing around the room. Then he leans down and picks something up from the floor.
My heart stops when I see it's the bottle of pills I'd spilled, my secret scattered everywhere.
"Please tell me you didn't take more than one?" His voice holds an edge I can feel through the pit in my stomach.
Even when I failed him, he still cares. I shake my head, too ashamed to meet him. He sighs, quietly, not pressing further.
Instead, his hand returns to my hair, soft, patient, grounding me in the moment. The silence stretches between us, heavy but safe.
"You almost died." I mutter, voice low.
His hand pauses, tentative. "I didn't"
"You could have."
His hand lifts my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. I swallow hard, my chest tightening. His eyes are sad, but he's smiling, small, tentative, trying to comfort me.
"I made a choice," he says gently. "A stupid one, probably. But it was mine."
My hands curl into fists. "You touched her because I let my guard down."
"No" he says firmly. "I touched her because I saw someone hurting, and I reacted. That's on me."
"You were screaming."
He swallows, voice rough. "Yeah. Not my best performance."
I feel my composure cracking, a thin fracture forming in the wall I built around myself. My breath catches, uneven.
"Hey… I'm still here," he whispers. "And if you lock yourself away every time something goes wrong, I'm going to start kicking down doors. You know I will."
A broken laugh escapes me, and I lean forward until my forehead rests against his. His warmth, his steady presence, anchors me in a way nothing else has in hours.
"I can't watch you suffer like that," I murmur, voice barely audible.
"I'm sorry," he says softly.
My arms wrap around him, careful but desperate, pulling him into me. He sags into my chest, finally letting exhaustion catch him. My shadow flickers faintly around us, restless, protective, as if sensing the fragile trust between us.
"Next time," he murmurs against my chest, voice muffled but soft, "I'll check the future first."
I tighten my hold, hiding my face in his shoulder. I don't say anything. I don't need to. For the first time in hours, I let myself breathe. Let myself feel.
Ethan leans back, glancing around the room again. My eyes follow his gaze, landing on the mess I made, the smashed shelves, scattered books. The guilt that had been dull in the background flares up again, sharp and heavy.
"Sorry… I didn't mean to" I mutter, voice low.
He pauses, taking in the chaos, and then… he smiles. Bright, easy, like nothing is wrong.
"I was thinking about redecorating anyway" he laughs, shrugging.
I feel a lump in my throat, tight and unyielding. I ruined his space. Destroyed his bookshelf. Scattered his books across the floor. And yet… he's still smiling, still finding a way to make me feel better, still choosing to protect me from my own guilt.
I want to sink into the floor. I want to disappear. But instead, he leans forward, slowly, and presses his lips to mine. Soft at first. Gentle. I can barely process it before he kisses me again, firmer this time.
Heat rises in my ears. My chest tightens. I'm aware of every shiver, every flicker of tension in my muscles. My hands move almost instinctively, resting lightly on his shoulders, not wanting to push him away but unsure if I can reach out fully.
"Just remember" he whispers against my ear, voice low, steady. "When you get hurt… this is how I feel."
It hits me like a punch in the stomach. His words, his honesty, the weight of his care, it's almost too much. I open my mouth, but the words stick, leaving me tongue-tied and raw.
He leans forward again, pressing his lips to mine. Longer this time, more insistent, grounding me in the moment. My hands tighten slightly around him, careful, protective, unsure, desperate all at once. Shadows flicker faintly at my feet, restless, as if sensing the intensity of what I feel and trying to contain it.
"I'm tired" he murmurs, pulling back just enough to look at me, still smiling. "Let's go to sleep."
I nod, swallowing hard, heart still hammering in my chest. My hands drop to rest on his arms, I let myself relax into him. And the rest of the world, the chaos, the guilt, the mistakes, I can set it aside, just for now.
I lean back against the bed, letting him settle beside me. Shadows curl protectively around us, subtle and watchful, a silent echo of the promise I always carry, I have to protect him. I need to do better.