I opened the fridge and looked inside as I oftenly do and I was greeted with the disappointing site of the lights still gone off and an empty fridge I closed the fridge door and walked through the kitchen towards the staircase and started climbing
And I loudly called out to my mother while climbing, "MUMSTER!! When do you think the electricity will be and can we for your god's sake didnt you get the cheese slices and the crackers"
And as I finished speaking I reached the balacony and saw that she was sprawled over a rocking chair in the upper floor balcony and as I last saw her she still seemed to be in prayer with earphones on with the cord connected to her phone which was lying on a patio table next to her glass of whisky
I sat next to her rocking chair on my own rocking chair and i tapped her on her shoulder and then she looked up from her prayer book and took one of her earphones out while turning towards me I could faintly hear the chords of a hymn and said, "what did you say dear"
And I replied, " What i said Madre was asking you about when the board said the electricity would be back and–" she replied " oh the customer service man whom I sucept might be a homosexual said that it would be back at 4.30 on the dot" I highly doubt that it will be back on the dot the electricity board is extremely ineffective
"Oh that's wonderful news if it actually happens cause I think my phone's battery will die out if it comes after four-thirty do you happen to have an extra power bank"
She then said, "Oh do check the power bank drawer cause i do rememberthat i charged some of them and they might have some power left"
As she said that I remembered how we had came into quite a large number of different types of power banks off of temu due to my mom drunkly ordering all of them we burnt through most of them quite literally because of its dirt cheap quality
She tried so hard to chalk it up to her trying all the types to find the best ones basically paint herself as strategic but everyone knew it was a mistake caused by too much gin and chardonnay
"Oh yeah the drawer probably has some by the way we have no food in the fridge what are we eating for lunch" she squeaked and excitedly said, "You know I got some extra money nowadays because of that ten thousand you found inside that old bible so I used some of that to order food from pizza hut they had a deal today actually buy two get one free with drinks and lava cakes so I jumped the gun and ordered, of coursewe will have some leftovers i am thinking of sending some to Stacey"
The name alone made me have goosebumps of disgust and made my smile fall but I quickly regained my composure I hated that bitch Stacey she was a thorne in my side ever since we met she was that kind of person that you instantly hate and would always avoid but sadly she was my neighbour
And I hated her especially cause she was such a snitch and would constantly rat me out to my mother when she saw me sneaking out to go to parties
But I guess my mother saw through my internal loathing of the bitch Stacey and made a slightly disapproving look and finally said, "Dear you know I can't let you eat too much pizza cause you have been become somewhat fat, this is just a small treat for your excellent results on your English test"
I was thankful that she did not pick up on my hatred of my dear neighbour. Somehow Madre and Catherine (Stacey's mother) had come to the asinine conclusion that we like each other I guess its sometimes easy to mistake hatred for love and I guess I have too much of a soft and silky voice that even barbed insults might sound like flirting
And it didn't help that our parents were old style Asians that even slight proximity towards a member of the opposite gender might be misconstrued as lust thankfully i dont swing that way and even if i did i would touch the bitch with a ten foot pole I pity the poor bastard that's going to be eventually forced to fuck that disgusting human sow
The hatred was mutual I saw her a virign rich religious nutjob whose voice sounds like a fork being dragged over a chalkboard and apparently from her comments on Instagram as; a satanists whore who would fuck anything with a pulse for a penny, and that is in verbatim
And as the hate was mutual we kept up the farce cause it ment less time together this was because our parents afraid that we would shag if we spent to much time together would keep us apart but if they knew of our hate they would try to make us spend time together as our parents were friends from school so we kept up the act of our affair
As soon as I heard Madre's words I playfully gasped and in my most exaggerated indignant voice said , "How could you mother it is 2025 have we evolved over fat shaming have we not I mean Kevin's mother is so accepting of his weight she even joined Kevin's body positivity podcast"
Kevin was a very vorpulant oily fellow with greesy unkempt and thinning hair his skin was as pale a corpse which is an acheivement in and itself what with the tropical sun tanning everyone to a golden shade and his parents were not that fair either he was looked like a popular meme caricature of what a reddit user looks like and would probably fuck a cupcake if he could
In truth I had actually put on quite a few pounds I was still toned but not quite up to my own summer swimsuit standards I had to restart my diet and workout plan if I wanted to meet my standards
Her face scrunched up in displeasure as soon as she heard the words about Susan( Kevin's mom) her face had always been so expressive
And she made her very expressive displeasure known by saying, "Oh please that Susan is a bitch if I ever saw one and cultural grifter who allows her son to gain so much weight to put him on par with a pig and for what some views, I tell you she is fake bitch who is chasing Internet clout so badly she would probably kill Kevin by overfeeding him"
She stopped her rant and reached for a glass of whiskey and took a big gulp from the cup and kept it back on the table and said, "If that bitch continues the poor boy will be dead by next year"
I then changed the subject by asking, "What were the pizzas you ordered I hope you didn't order anything with pineapple if you did I am giving it to Bruno"
And as if summoned by the mention of food the furry beast came careening through the balcony doorway and jumped into my lap the slightly obese golden retriever knocked the wind out of me "Offf boy I think getting big maybe a diet is in order for you what do you think Madre"
My mother turned towards me while I was petting Bruno's head and said " Yeah I do think that is for the best maybe we should take him to the vet to get some diet opinions"
As soon as Bruno heard Vet he whimpered and a chuckle escaped my lips and I said, "Careful Madre our big boy Bruno is afraid of the V. E. T word and I think he maybe gaining understanding of the English lexicon"
Suddenly and without warning the house started to shake and a part of the balconies root tiles came undone and hit mother on the head and she was out cold I quickly got up and tried to reach her to so that I can carry her outside the house and into the open field next door
Because that was what you are supposed to do in an earthquake scenario and so I tried to quickly hoist mother on my back but before I could another tile came undone and hit me in the head and down I went
And as I lied on the floor with darkness creeping in from the sides of my vision with Bruno trying to make me stand up by licking my face. There were two thoughts going through my head the first was that we should not have tiled the balcony roof it was both expensive and tacky then the second was that I should have brushed Bruno's teeth cause the smell was atrocious