The Great Hall of Hogwarts never failed to impress. Tonight, the enchanted ceiling mirrored the late-summer night sky, a sweep of velvet darkness scattered with stars. Thousands of candles floated in the air, their flames steady despite the faint draft that carried the mingling scents of polished wood and ancient stone. Four long house tables stretched toward the dais, where the staff sat in their high-backed chairs behind their own table. Golden goblets gleamed, plates reflected firelight, and the hum of whispers buzzed from every corner as students craned their necks to take in the familiar wonder.
The Sorting was just over. New faces were still pink with nerves, old ones alive with the joy of returning. All eyes turned to the head of the hall as the greatest wizard of the age rose to speak.
"To our new students, welcome, and to the old, welcome back," Albus Dumbledore announced, his voice carrying easily through the vast chamber. "Before we begin the opening feast…"
He paused, his twinkling gaze sweeping the room. "...allow me to introduce you to our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor..."
That was my cue to interfere.
I rose smoothly, my lilac cloak swishing behind me, and Dumbledore, ever the gentleman, inclined his head and stepped back. But even through his polished grace, I caught it: a faint twitch tugging at the corner of his mouth. He knew exactly what was about to happen.
"There's no need to strain your voice further, Headmaster," I said with my most dazzling smile as I turned to the students. "I can perfectly introduce myself. Though I'm sure most of you all already know me, allow me to do this properly."
I spread my arms wide, as though I were about to embrace the entire hall. "I am Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class; Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League; five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award; best-selling author and world-famous adventurer."
"And you all will have the pleasure of my tutelage this year. I know, I know, someone of my stature ought to be abroad, dueling Dark wizards or chasing werewolves through the Carpathians. But alas, Aurors and Hit Wizards must manage without me. For now."
Some of the younger girls giggled, starry-eyed. A Gryffindor boy rolled his eyes so hard I thought they might get stuck.
"When Professor Dumbledore approached me, begging me, I should add, to take the position, I was reluctant." I pressed a hand theatrically to my chest. "After all, I had a planned expedition. But after thinking about it, I realised this was my chance to share my considerable knowledge with the next generation. Who knows? Perhaps the next Gilderoy Lockhart is sitting among you now."
There were groans and muffled laughter. Exactly as planned.
"Well!" I clapped my hands together. "I've surely bored you enough. Tuck in!"
At once, the five tables groaned under the sudden weight of roast meats, golden Yorkshire puddings, tureens of potatoes, glittering bowls of pumpkin juice. The collective gasp was delicious, for once, Dumbledore himself had not given the signal. His eyes flicked briefly to me, surprised, but I only returned a charming wink. The house-elves in the kitchens had been only too eager to assist when I'd suggested the little surprise.
Applause erupted, perhaps for the food, perhaps because I had finally shut up. No matter. With my head held high, I glided to the staff table and claimed my seat between Professors Aurora Sinistra and Bathsheda Babbling.
Aurora, the Astronomy professor, gave me a warm smile. At twenty-five, she was the youngest on staff, her eyes bright with curiosity. Bathsheda, Ancient Runes professor, was less gracious. At twenty-eight, like myself, she knew me far too well from our Ravenclaw days. Once upon a time, she had even been my girlfriend, until she came to her senses three months later and realised what a pompous self absorbed idiot I was, I personally think it took her too long.
Aurora leaned in slightly, brushing a curl behind her ear.
"It seems I won the lottery with my seating arrangement," I declared grandly, flashing both witches my trademark grin. "To find myself between two such beautiful flowers."
Aurora's smile got wider and her cheeks reddened a little, she sat up straighter and swept a dark curl behind her ear, her glossy lips just a shade darker than her chocolate skin attracted my attention, I couldn't help but want to take a bite to see if they tasted as good as they looked.
The thought that maybe I shouldn't try something with a colleague crossed my mind, as it's supposedly unethical, but you know what they say, when the dick is thinking, the brain gets pushed to the back. And Gilderoy Lockhart has never been someone to deprive himself from life's pleasures, he also happens to have a sweet tooth and loves chocolate.
"I know you're just being polite, but thanks for the compliment Gilderoy, I can call you Gilderoy, right?" Aurora asked tentatively, trying to close the metaphorical distance.
"Just being honest, and just call me Roy, Gilderoy is a mouthful, and as colleagues, there's nothing wrong with getting a bit closer, don't you think?"
Bathsheda muttered "scumbag" into her plate. I ignored her with the professionalism of a man who has ignored thousands of such remarks and turned my full attention to Aurora.
"All right, Roy," she said, eyelashes fluttering.
At her compliance, I flashed her my patented Gilderoy Lockhart brilliant and ultra charming smile, my bright blue eyes giving a brief twinkle (yes, I found Dumbledore's famous cantrip after some research), and my shoulder length, naturally wavy blonde hair seemed to flutter in the breeze, even if there was no breeze at all, but magic is useful like that.
Across the table, Professor McGonagall was pursing her lips so tightly they nearly vanished, while Snape regarded me with the expression of someone watching a flobberworm crawl across his desk. I could practically hear the gossip beginning to churn.
The rest of the feast passed in a haze of chatter, stolen glances, and very good beef stew. The school song, dreadful as always, brought the meal to a merciful close. Students shuffled off to their dormitories, and one by one, my colleagues excused themselves for their quarters.
Aurora allowed me the courtesy of escorting her to the foot of the Astronomy Tower. No tea, no late-night invitation, unfortunately. But patience is a virtue. And Gilderoy Lockhart, despite appearances, has learned a little patience.
Or perhaps it's more accurate to say that Gilderoy Lockhart is no longer quite who he once was.
Two nights ago, I awoke with memories of another life, one where my existence was a children's tale and blockbuster films. In that life, I had no fame, no sparkling smile, no trophies on the mantelpiece. Just an ordinary man with an ordinary job. Until he closed his eyes one night and opened them in the body of Gilderoy Lockhart the next morning.
We fused, you might say, into the man I am now. And with that came not only knowledge of the future, but also some refinements. My magic, once scattered and squandered, now thrums with potential.
Do not misunderstand, I was never without talent. If I were to compare, I could say that I was as talented as Snape, you should know that I also created my own spells during my time as a student, it's just that they were all focused on attracting attention to myself, like that time I made my own version of Voldemort's Dark Mark, but instead of a tasteless skull with a snake coming out of its mouth, mine would conjure a giant image of my charming face in the sky for all to see and delight themselves.
And I mastered the Memory Charm, mastered it beyond any rival. You all probably think I'm despicable for the things I've done with this charm, but believe it or not, I have only used it to steal the achievements of three people so far, which I later used to write my famous books: Break with a Banshee, Voyages with Vampires, and Wandering with Werewolves.
All my other books are a result of my own investigations, along with some embellishments and imagination, even if I never went out on those adventures, but people don't need to know that, right?. And believe it or not, my first book was my own work, well, with some help from my mother, who was the real expert in dealing with magical pests. But Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to Household Pests didn't become famous until my first stolen achievement jump-started my career.
So yeah, thanks to the fusion, my talent should now be at the level of magical powerhouses like Dumbledore, Grindelwald, Voldemort and such. But make no mistake, talent alone isn't enough to create someone at that level, it also takes painstaking effort, access to knowledge not easily accessible, countless hours of training, and maybe a ritual or ten (In Voldemort's case) if you want to speed up the process.
I've spent the last two days practicing magic, specifically the spells I'm supposed to teach. The knowledge is there, and I could cast them once upon a time, even if not that proficiently, but it was enough to pass my classes. And now with my newfound talent, they're actually quite a lot easier to relearn, so I'm confident this time I'm not going to make a fool of myself in front of my students.
But I want to go further. Mark my words, they will remember me as the greatest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor Hogwarts has ever known!
…
(This is my first original fanfic, not a translation. You can subscribe to my Patreon /mysterion901 to read 10 advanced chapters)