The CEO of DDC lit up his cigarette, then exhaled a large, silver smoke cloud.
"I liked Supercharger better," he went.
"Your mom will get supercharged if you don't accept this," said Nemeto, a bit irritated.
"Shut it with the yo mama jokes already!" Ju shot back, clearly annoyed by Nemeto's aggressive attitude toward the CEO.
"But I guess Sugargirls will suit you better. Then it's settled. And your names are also quite catchy, mysterious. Dururin is the most kawaii. Ju sounds short and strong, ideal for the leader. And Nemeto is the most intriguing one, perfect for the member that's doing everything from the shadows. So, that will be your roles."
"But we still need to learn how to sing, dance, and play instruments, right?" asked concerned Ju.
"Nope. Everything you need to know will be implanted in your brains. You'll get all the skills and knowledge in an instant. It's like forcing years of muscle memory straight into your heads."
"Oh, by the way, why do I feel sooo sleeeeepy?!" Dururin asked, stretching and yawning.
"That's because your bodies perfectly mimic humans, but there are a few differences. You can eat and drink, but you don't digest or defecate. You'll taste everything, but anything you swallow gets vaporized by tiny laser inside your stomachs."
"Wait, so that means if we calibrate ourselves a bit, we can shoot laser beams out of our butts?" asked curious Nemeto.
"In theory, yes," the CEO replied shortly.
"Neat," she said, smiling mischievously.
"But in practice, that would basically kill you. Your core spine is connected to it."
Nemeto sighed.
"Damn. I wanted to shoot them with my laser farts."
Dururin burst out laughing and Ju gave her a questioning look. The CEO, unfazed by their jokes, just continued:
"Back to the main topic. Your names define your roles a bit. Nemeto will be the main composer and producer. She'll also handle mixing and control the studio recordings, so we won't pay extra for a sound engineer. Basically, she's the mastermind behind Sugargirls. Live, Nemeto will be the drummer."
"Huh?! That's not fair! She'll have sooo many skills!" Ju exclaimed.
"Yes, but her attitude is quite nasty, so… you two will handle fan meetings better. Just keep her mouth shut, and it should be alright. Then there's Dururin."
"Yes, boss?" she asked with hope in her eyes.
"A shy cutie. You'll have a soft and sweet voice, doing choruses and additional vocal lines. Live, you'll be the bassist."
"But I'm not shy at all!"
"Well, the 240 gigabits worth of shy girl hentai manga in your brain showed us differently."
"Just kill me already!" she blurted out, embarrassed.
"Well, there she is, our shy girl," Nemeto teased her.
"Shut up!" Dururin shot back.
"And finally, there's Ju. Our cherry on top," he said, smiling at her. "She'll be the leader, charismatic, and able to win over the crowd. Ju, you'll have a strong singing voice that can reach people's hearts. You'll also be the guitarist with amazing technical skills, so all the music nerds can admire you. On top of that, you'll learn to write lyrics straight from your soul."
"So basically, the cow will have the widest fanbase. Dururin will be second in popularity, I guess. That means my fan club will have like… three people or so," Nemeto summed up.
"We'll see about that. Enough talking. Oh wait, there's actually one important thing. From now on, right after the first upload to your brains, you'll be permanently connected to our network…"
"Finally!" Dururin cheered.
"…with full parental advisory, from me. I'll track everything you do on the web," the CEO finished calmly.
"Ugh," Dururin's mood shifted quickly from joyful to sad.
"Well then, girls, shall we begin your learning process?" he said with a proud smile.
"Why even ask? You know we have to agree. Or you have to do this, because either way we'd just be useless," said Nemeto.
"Well, you have sharp judgment and an even sharper tongue. Allow me, then."
The CEO knocked on his desk. A drawer slid out, revealing a small holographic screen that read: "VOCALOID UPDATE – 1 – READY!" He pressed a button below the text frame, confirming the start of the operation. Suddenly, all the girls saw a message in their heads:
"DDC INTERNET' CONNECTED SUCCESSFULLY"
For a moment, all of them froze, their eyes blank, their bodies twitching like broken androids. After five minutes, they returned to normal.
"Woah. I feel like I could play some cool solos on my guitar, right here, right now!" said Ju.
"I am the omniverse. I am the all-knowing being of all that is all," said Nemeto in a cosmic tone.
"Huh?! You're joking, right?" asked Dururin in disbelief.
The CEO stood up.
"I have knowledge that surpasses your pitiful lives, mortals. Therefore, I am…"
Before she finished, the CEO smacked her on the forehead with a wide, loud slap. Ju and Dururin squeaked in fear. Nemeto lost consciousness again.
"Sorry. Looks like her processor overheated. I rebooted the system. Let's hope the restart works."
After a moment, Nemeto came back to herself.
"Jeez… what happened… why does my head hurt so much?!" she asked, looking suspiciously at her bandmates.
Dururin turned her head to the side, and Ju started nervously whistling, pretending to invent her first vocal melody.
"Now that we're all here and done with the first update, you can go. I'll send your daily schedule via a text you'll receive directly in your brains. First, you'll meet our stylist to pick nice outfits for the first photoshoot. Then you'll go straight to the studio to record your first single. That's it. Bye-bye."
"Couldn't you at least wish us good luck?!" Nemeto shot back.
The CEO pressed another button on his desk.
Three elevator platforms sucked the Sugargirls in, then spat them out onto the ground floor. Unsuspecting guests trying to check in at the reception couldn't believe their eyes - three perfectly cute anime girls just flew over their heads, through the revolving door, and landed on their asses on the hard concrete sidewalk.