It's hard to muster the courage to say this but I miss you my beloved.
"Sorry, patawad mahal ko." Are the only words I can repeat all over in my head as I reminisce the pain I inflicted upon your heart. You are a good person and you don't deserve a woman who only knows fear, abandonment, and is too weak to fight for the future we dreamed. Every night I dream of you, I think of you in all the man I encounter. Last time I even saw someone who looks just like you, thinking that it might be you waiting to board the right jeepney. And just last time a friend of mine saw you that night when the jeepney stops. But before she uttered your name I already saw you. But my mind could not believe it, I thought I was being delusional for it happens frequently. I miss you, I want to see you and hug you. But I am too afraid to shatter your heart, confidence, and the agonizing time you spent just to get over this relationship. I don't want to dissappoint you further, nor do I want to tear your heart into another million pieces. I don't even understand myself for writing this letter. I'm not even sure if you'll read this, and I'm not sure if you remove the only email for our connection. Even if you're unable to read this it doesn't matter. I am only wishing you well for it's been hard for me too, to endure this loneliness without you, to force myself to be okay that you're not going to be with me forever.
I could only wish for one thing. Truly, if there is another life, I'm begging God to let me be your wife and you as my husband. I love you always, you'll never leave this heart of mine even if another man introduce himself.
Every time I could no longer tolerate the pain in my heart, I will write here. A proof that I am a fool, a coward who can only write this words as a last proof of my love for you.