Word spread fast on set.
By lunchtime, every crew member knew:
Julian tried to teach Aria professionalism.
And Aria took that information…
and began analyzing it like a scientist dissecting a frog.
This was dangerous.
Very dangerous.
Because Aria Lane had exactly two modes:
1. Confused
2. Confidently wrong
And today, she toggled between both at alarming speed.
Aria Approaches Mason
Director Mason was reviewing footage when he sensed someone behind him.
He flinched violently.
"AH—MISS LANE, STOP APPEARING LIKE THAT!"
Aria blinked.
"I walked."
"No, you materialized. There's a difference."
Aria ignored this and asked:
"Director Mason… is eating unprofessional?"
Silence.
Mason stared at her.
Then stared at the sky.
Then whispered:
"…God, give me strength."
The Discussion Begins (Poor Mason)
Mason rubbed his temples.
"Aria, eating is not unprofessional… unless you do it while filming."
Aria nodded thoughtfully.
"So eating is allowed."
"Yes—
NO—
YES BUT—
STOP MAKING IT SOUND LIKE A LOOPHOLE!"
She tilted her head.
"Then when can I eat?"
"Between takes."
She nodded again.
"And if I eat fast, is that more professional?"
Mason blinked.
"…What?"
She repeated patiently:
"If I eat faster, I eat less during work.
This means I am more efficient.
More efficient is more professional."
Mason's brain blue-screened.
"MISS LANE, THIS IS NOT A SPEED-EATING COMPETITION."
Aria looked disappointed.
Aria Collects More Data
She found Rick, the cameraman.
"Rick… does eating bother your camera?"
Rick jolted like she'd threatened him physically.
"No! I mean—
Yes! I mean—
Only if you disappear mid-shot to chase food!"
Aria considered this.
"So if I don't chase food, eating is okay."
Rick stammered.
"I mean—technically—well—please don't chase food—"
Aria nodded.
"Understood."
Rick nearly cried.
Next, she approached the sound team.
"Does eating make noise in your microphones?"
The boom operator sighed.
"Yes. Crunching is audible."
Aria frowned.
"What about soft foods?"
The sound tech shook his head.
"No chewing at all."
Aria looked genuinely offended.
"…Food is not loud."
The sound team looked genuinely offended.
"…Yes it is."
Aria squinted like they'd challenged her worldview.
Then She Finds Julian
Julian was stretching before a scene when Aria approached him with grave seriousness.
"Julian."
He smiled warmly.
"Yes?"
"Is eating unprofessional?"
Julian immediately stopped smiling.
"Oh no. That question again?"
Aria nodded.
"I need clarity."
Julian rubbed his neck.
"It's not unprofessional. It's just that… there are times you should avoid doing it."
Aria considered this.
"Times like running, fighting, or dodging?"
"…Especially those."
Aria nodded again.
"What about emotional scenes?"
"Probably not."
"What about scenes with dialogue?"
"Definitely not."
"What about kissing scenes?"
Julian froze.
Daniel, six meters away, screamed:
"WHY ARE YOU ASKING HIM ABOUT KISSING SCENES?!"
Julian coughed loudly and looked anywhere except her face.
"A-Aria… eating before kissing scenes is… not recommended."
"Why?"
He blinked.
Because that question was 100% Aria Lane.
"Ahem—
Because… hygiene… and…"
Daniel shouted from afar:
"JUST TELL HER SHE CAN'T EAT GARLIC BEFORE A KISS!"
Aria blinked.
"…There are kiss scenes?"
Daniel threw his clipboard into the air.
"JULIAN, LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"
Julian covered his face.
"I'm sorry— I didn't mean— It's hypothetical—"
Aria stared at them both calmly.
"I will avoid garlic."
Julian nearly choked.
The Final Straw
Aria walked back to Mason, who looked exhausted.
"Director Mason," she said softly,
"I have learned that eating is not unprofessional."
Mason froze.
Then screamed:
"WHO—TOLD—YOU—THAT?!"
Aria blinked.
"Everyone."
Mason turned his fury skyward.
"JULIAAAAAN!!"
Julian: coughs quietly and walks away
Aria's Final Conclusion
She spoke with a level of seriousness that made every crew member in the vicinity stop and listen.
"If eating is allowed but not during certain moments…
then professionalism is simply timing."
Mason stared at her.
"That is… actually correct."
Aria nodded.
"I will improve my timing."
Mason exhaled in relief.
Aria added:
"And eat faster."
"NOOOOOOO!!"
Mason's scream echoed through the studio.