Chapter 51 - .

Reshouldering my heavy, mostly empty bag, I walked through the empty hallways. My single set of footsteps rang loud in the quiet school building. 

When I looked into the schoolyard from the window, I could see the sports clubs still practicing. Finally, they started cleaning up and stretching and such, sparse shadows moving on the wide grounds. I was gazing at these shadows as I walked when pleasant clicking footsteps pursued me from behind. 

"Hikigaya." A voice called me to a stop, and I paused there for only a moment. I knew who the owner of that voice was. That was why I merely slowed down and didn't turn around. 

Miss Hiratsuka sped up, and in a moment, she was walking by my side. "I guess there's no point in asking…," she muttered as she combed down her long hair roughly through her fingers. As expected of Miss Hiratsuka. She knew it well. 

But it seemed she had to ask anyway as we descended the stairs together. "What happened?" 

"Nothing." 

I didn't know how many times I'd said that. 

Would saying that over and over eventually convince me it was true? Not at all. In fact, it was exactly the opposite, and I was even starting to doubt my own words and actions. 

Whether she knew of these feelings or not, Miss Hiratsuka chuckled wryly. "Well, have it your way. I know you're not exactly an open book." 

She didn't try to ask again. The two of us walked from the bottom of the stairs down the hallway without a word. If you turned the corner ahead, you'd reach the teacher's room, while going straight would take you to the school entrance. 

Approaching the place where we would part ways, before I said my good-byes, Miss Hiratsuka opened her mouth first. "You're a kind person, Hikigaya… There are quite a few people you've helped." 

"No, I doubt that…" I didn't think that was true. Kindness or help are not things I give. That's for other, better people. 

And it's not so easy to save someone in the first place. Selfishly seeking out someone beneath you, patting yourself on the back for helping them, and finding meaning in those actions is nothing more than an attempt to reassure yourself you're a good person. 

So it wasn't as if I'd done anything. 

I tried to deny it, but Miss Hiratsuka stopped me with a light wink. "It's just like I told you earlier, in my evaluation." "…You're overestimating me," I retorted. 

But she puffed out her chest and chuckled. "I may not look it, but I'm very prone to favoritism." 

"Isn't that bad for a teacher?" 

"It's part of my policy of positive reinforcement," she said, unruffled. 

Is that right…? I don't really remember getting any compliments, though… "I never got that impression…" I shrugged. 

Miss Hiratsuka smiled. "Of course, I do just as much scolding." 

The school building was designed to look like a boat, and the evening light streamed through the plentiful glass windows, the soft rays of the setting sun shining in the still hallways. However, the light was not warm. 

Miss Hiratsuka stood with the sun at her back, blocking the glow. 

She set off to the teachers' room, away from the entrance, where I was headed. As we parted ways, she kindly patted my shoulder. "The way you do things—when you meet someone you really want to help, you won't be able to do it." 

A single set of footsteps echoed down the hallway. 

Gradually, they grew distant. 

3 

Haruno Yukinoshita is thoroughly unfathomable. 

My bicycle raced to surpass its shadow. 

It was already a little late to be calling it evening, and the tree-lined road along the river was now dark. With the sun sinking into Tokyo Bay at my back, I rotated the pedals. 

Starting the next day, I'd probably be able to go home earlier. 

Attendance at the Service Club had become temporarily voluntary. 

We were making it a battle royale, and if I was going to do things differently than the other two, then there was no need to force ourselves to work together. I'd already decided how I was going to handle things, and my plan didn't require much preparation. I only had to manage on the day of. So then all I had to do until the day of the election was make sure not to get in their way. 

Most of all. 

Even if I didn't pull it off, if the other two did, then that was fine. I was sure they'd resolve it better than me. 

Both parties had chosen noninterference. There was no need to bother with the perilous path of approaching each other and closing the gap. Finding an appropriate distance and maintaining it is another way for people to get along. 

As for the club activities, I decided not to think about it anymore. 

But funny enough, when you try not to think about anything, it only brings up even more intrusive thoughts. When I tried to turn my attention away from school-related things, naturally, I ended up thinking about home instead. This reminded me of my exchange with Komachi that morning in the living room. 

I wonder if she's still mad…? 

When she's outwardly huffy, it's just like, Oh, how cute, but when she starts ignoring you, that's proof she's seriously angry. Once, she ignored Dad like that, and he went crying to Mom about it. 

Our parents would probably be coming home late, as usual. So then I'd be home alone with Komachi. 

Being home alone together with your little sister is normally the sort of setup that'd make your heart dance. No, wait, that's not normal. 

But this one day, it'd be hard for us to face each other. 

It would be best to wait a little longer until things had cooled down. 

With that thought, the handlebars of my bicycle turned to the right. 

On the road home from school, if you turn right on the national highway, you'll end up in downtown Chiba. You can kill a fair amount of time there at the movie theater, bookstores, arcades, or manga cafés. 

Things had been pretty busy during the school field trip, and I hadn't had much time to enjoy myself alone. The weekend after my return, I'd ended up lying around, and then it was over. 

Finally, I could relieve some stress. I've always liked my alone time. 

While I was wondering about where I should goof off, gradually, I began to feel more at ease. Pedaling away as I hummed, "Princess, princess, princess," I rode full speed along the long highway that went on and on. 

By the time I arrived downtown, the sun had fallen far enough that it was no longer sunset, and the nighttime bustle of the city was in full swing. Making my way along National Highway 14 into the downtown core, I headed toward Chuo Station in Chiba. 

Around here, there's an Animate, a Tora no Ana, and a movie theater, so it has everything you'd need to kill time. 

I window-shopped around a bunch of stores, bought two, three books, and eyeballed the display in front of the movie theater. It was a little under an hour until the movie I was somewhat interested in would start. That was the perfect amount of time to go drink a coffee somewhere. 

Directly below the movie theater was a Starbucks. But I didn't really know how to order there, and the raging We're so fashionable energy of the customer base there just didn't sit right with me, so I decided to go somewhere else. It's impossible to truly express in words the feeling you get seeing someone with stylish glasses clacking away on a MacBook Air, but it's something akin to a land mine lying in wait for you. You start feeling like, I'll smash an apple into those glasses of yours, you damn hipster. 

The donut shop kitty-corner from the movie theater gives customers free refills on coffee, and they also have café au lait. And in fact, sweetening the café au lait makes it more Chiba-like and even better. You have to value your teatime, you know? 

I went into the shop and ordered an old-fashioned donut, a French cruller, and a café au lait. Then I went to the second-floor seating, aiming for a counter spot. 

Man, enjoying pastries with a sweet café au lait and a book is perfect bliss. Even for idols, if they're hurt by some minor thing someone said, eating something sweet'll make them happy. 

Feeling mildly cheerful as I looked for a seat, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone looking at me. 

"Oh, look who's here." 

I turned toward the voice addressing me, and the woman removed her headphones and smiled, waving at me. She wore a loose-knit cardigan over a white blouse with a standing collar. Even though her legs were wrapped in an ankle-length skirt, I could tell they were long and elegant. She was dressed for winter, but not weighed down by the heavier clothing. Maybe because she always seemed to keep everything light. 

She was the elder sister of Service Club leader Yukino Yukinoshita, and a perfect superhuman who surpassed even Yukino: Haruno Yukinoshita. 

A donut shop like this place really didn't suit her. In fact, she would have made a fair picture sitting behind the glass at the counter of that earlier Starbucks. 

Since I'd never expected to meet her here, I instinctively tensed up. 

Checking what she was up to, I saw she had a few books spread open on the table. None of them were paperbacks, and some of them had very imposing-looking binding. At a glance, the letters looked like the Roman alphabet—were those English books? 

"…Ah, hi." I casually bobbed my head at her and sat myself down a ways away. Why do we stick in ah before saying stuff? It's not like hi is a noun. 

Anyway, I took a bite out of the French cruller. 

Damn it… Why is she here…? I should've gotten this to go… I blew this one… I should've made sure there was no one I knew in this restaurant before I came in. 

Anyway, let's finish this stuff fast and then leave, I thought, putting my lips to the café au lait, but unfortunately, I have a sensitive tongue. 

As I desperately blew on my coffee, Haruno carried her tray over to sit beside me. "You don't have to run away. Geez. Rude." 

"Oh, no, I just didn't want to bother you." I think this is a loner's way of being considerate. It's kind of like how when I'm alone in town and I happen to run into an acquaintance, and we both try exchanging a few remarks, and things feel weird, like, So when should we end this…? and for some reason, I feel guilty, like it's my fault. 

If you happen to run into someone unexpectedly, you should withdraw immediately. It's not good to be conceited. 

But it seems that when you're someone with such little respect for personal space as Haruno, those thoughts don't occur to you. As if she'd been sitting beside me all along, she took a book in hand in the exact same pose as before. Pulling out the attached string bookmark, she opened the page she'd been reading. 

If she was just going to read anyway, then she didn't have to bother moving over here, did she…? She does whatever she wants, huh? I thought, looking over at her. 

Gaze still down on her book, she said to me, "What are you doing out here?" 

"…Killing time until a movie." 

"Oh, then about the same as me, huh?" 

"…Are you going to see a movie?" That came out rather disgruntled. But there was no helping that. If she was planning to see the same movie as me, then even if we parted ways here, we'd wind up in the somewhat irritating and awkward situation of running into each other again at the movie theater… 

But it seemed I was worrying over nothing, as Haruno replied sunnily, "Hmm? No, no. I'm killing time until I'm going out to eat with a friend." 

That reminded me that Haruno's university was pretty close, like in west Chiba or something. They have bars over there, but I feel like the number of "trendy" places around the area has increased. If she wanted to get something to eat, downtown's a logical place to come. And as for hip eats in downtown Chiba, then…Naritake Ramen, I guess? That back fat is like a sprinkling of snow! So elegant! 

"Agh, a friend, huh? I don't want to be in the way, so I'll leave you to it." 

"That's not for a while. It's fine; let's kill time togeeether." She scooted her chair over toward me. 

Too close, too close and soft, close, close, nice smell, close… Though I attempted to twist as far away from her as she came near, she closed that distance, too. 

And then she whispered in my ear, "Guys like you are the best, Hikigaya." 

Something cold ran up my spine. It wasn't simple fear. It was close to the thrill of peering down into a dark hole and sensing that if you fell into it, you'd keep on falling forever. Her alluring voice sharpened every sensation, including her thin fingers laid gently on my shoulder and the seductive luster of her lips. 

I jerked back and looked at her, and her moist eyes met mine. Her gaze made me want to be deceived by the bewitching smile on her lips, but she was doing this with the sole purpose of getting a reaction out of me. 

And as proof of that, she shifted back again and bubbled with laughter. "If I don't say anything, you won't talk to me, but when I talk to you, you give me an answer. It's so convenient. The perfect person for killing time with." 

I really don't feel like that's a compliment… That's, like, lower specs than recent browser games. You know how the recent ones will start chattering at you when you leave them running, like KanColle and stuff. 

Haruno returned to her reading again, but right before she did, she added one remark. "Most boys try to make conversation, which, like, no." 

…Ohhh, I get that… Yeah. 

Some guys are so desperate to get a girl to like them that they say all sorts of stuff to them. Normally, they won't talk at all, but when they suddenly have this chance to talk, they'll uncharacteristically muster up their courage and try to start a conversation, and yet their attempts are always mediocre at best. They exist, and they're real cringey. For example, me in middle school—what year was that again? 

But anyway, because of what she'd just done, I'd missed my chance to leave. I might have to wait for my next chance. 

Her silence didn't bother me. In fact, silence is my field of specialty. 

It's like, you know, since taciturn men are great, after all. 

It's here… The loner age has come. From now on, the type of boy who doesn't converse will flourish (not that I'm saying he'll get girls). 

Since there was nothing for me to talk to her about, we weren't really going to end up chatting. 

Time passed serenely. 

Thinking about it, I hadn't seen Haruno since the cultural festival. 

But my impression of her today was very different from all the other times I'd seen her—maybe because she was quiet. Or maybe I should say she was mellowed. 

It seemed when her sister wasn't around, she didn't meddle much. In fact, she seemed calm. Wait, just how much does this girl love her sister? Oh, I love my little sister, too, I guess. She probably hates me because of what happened this morning, though… 

Remembering the incident with Komachi that morning got me a little down. Times like this, it's best to think about something else. 

Oh, these donuts are good…but the café au lait could be a little sweeter. It's 'cause they don't have condensed milk here. I poured in stick sugar as a substitute and drank it like that, noticing Haruno out of the corner of my eye. 

She had a book spread open on top of the table, face leaned on one hand, occasionally reaching out to her coffee. 

Seeing her quietly reading a book, I thought she really did resemble her younger sister—her fingertip as she turned the pages, the white nape of her neck peeking out whenever she took a drink from her cup, and the way her eyes narrowed when they stopped on a certain sentence. 

She looked a lot like what I'd seen of Yukino Yukinoshita for nearly six months. 

Haruno suddenly noticed my gaze and shifted her face with a "Hmm?" as if to ask me, Do you need something? 

I shook my head. "…Oh, I'm going to get a refill, so…" 

"Yes, please." She handed me her cup, and I got a refill on the café au lait and her coffee from a passing staff member. Taking the cups, I gently laid down hers in a spot where it wouldn't get in her way. 

It'd be weird to watch her the whole time, so I decided to read the book I'd just bought, too. 

The only sound coming from our vicinity was the turning of pages. 

I wasn't really bothered by the music they played in the store. But I didn't understand the lyrics of this song. What the heck is "I donuts you"? What's going on there? And what's more, when you listen closely, it's actually a decent song. 

While I was drinking my second helping of café au lait (which had finally cooled to lukewarm), I was turning one more page, when suddenly Haruno said, "Hikigaya." 

"Yes?" 

The two of us conversed as we continued to read. 

"Tell me a funny story." 

"…" That terrible attempt at conversation made me automatically fall silent. My disgust probably showed on my face, too. What's with this woman…? I thought as I looked over at her to see a big grin on her face. 

"That utterly disgusted reaction… Ohhh, it's everything I hoped for!" she said, bursting into playful laughter. 

If you know that, then don't say it… The minute I think she might let me have some peace, she starts messing around. 

Is she innocent, or unrestrained, or audacious? 

She's a hard person to pin down, and I really don't like her. 

Haruno must have reached a good place to stop, as she closed her book and stretched wide with a groan. When you pose like that, um, it's sort of attention-getting…the part that's very different from your sister. 

"Is Yukino-chan doing well?" Haruno asked me, reaching out to her coffee cup, her fingertips stroking the rim. 

"…Well, the same as usual, I suppose." 

" I see. Then that's good." 

Considering she'd been the one to ask, she didn't seem all that interested in the answer, and she put her books away in her bag as she spoke. Then she laid her elbows on the now-cleared space on the table, laced her fingers together, and rested her chin on them in a pose like a certain commander. Comanner. 

Haruno turned her face toward me, then cleared her throat in a deliberate-sounding way. "So…how have things gone since then?" 

"Agh…" 

"Made any progress?" 

If you don't use specific vocabulary, I won't really know what you're talking about. I replied with a vague sigh as if to say, Care to elaborate? 

She gave me a quizzical look. "Wasn't there a field trip?" 

"Oh, you know about that?" I remarked in surprise. Well, she had gone to our school, so she could know around what time it would be. But even so, her knowledge was precise. 

A little proud, Haruno revealed her secret. "We got souvenirs at home." 

By souvenirs, that had to mean from her sister. Inferring from the way she'd phrased her explanation, it seemed Yukinoshita hadn't gone over to hand them to her directly. 

"She went to the trouble of getting them delivered…?" How dumb is she? She couldn't have bought all that much, and it's a few stations away, at most… 

Haruno held her cup in both hands, breathing a short, bored sigh. "I'm sure she just didn't want to see us." 

"But she still buys you souvenirs… How conscientious…," I mumbled to myself in exasperation and wonder. That was also weirdly Yukinoshita-like, so it made sense to me. 

But Haruno didn't seem to agree, shaking her head. "Oh, I don't think that's it." 

Her quick denial made me curious, and I examined her out of the corner of my eye. Yukinoshita is fussy about manners, and I understood her to be a fairly conscientious type. Was something about that wrong? 

Haruno tilted her cup, lowering her gaze to the black ripples. "She hates us, but she doesn't want to be hated, you know…," she said quietly, in the faintest whisper, in a way that could be taken as kindness or pity. That quiet tone was directed at herself and someone not present. 

I was sure I wouldn't be allowed to ask any further, so I kept my mouth shut. 

Noticing my silence, Haruno put down her cup and spun around to face me in a particularly melodramatic manner. "But since your school trip is over, there won't be any more big events, so I suppose now you'll be basically focusing on entrance exams. Isn't that boring?" 

I decided to switch over to that topic, too. "Not really. There's still stuff going on with the student council elections." 

"The elections? Huh? That's not over by now?" Puzzled, she tilted her head and hummed. As expected of a Soubu graduate. She seemed to be consulting her own memories. 

"It kinda never got settled, so there was an extension." 

"Meguri is finally retiring, huh?" There was something emotional about the way she said that. 

To me, Meguri was an upperclassman I could rely on— Wait, no, I've never relied on her. She's really unreliable. In fact, she's even relied on me, so that would make her more a cute upperclassman, but to Haruno, she had to be a cute junior student. Hey, that means Meguri is supercute. Megurin's cute, oh so cute. 

Haruno must have been remembering that, and she giggled. "This is Meguri we're talking about, so I bet she asked Yukino-chan to be student council president, right?" 

"Oh, actually, no she didn't." 

"What? That's boring." Haruno swung her feet in dissatisfaction. 

"…So then Yukino-chan isn't going to be student council president." "Doesn't look like it." 

Around now, Yukinoshita would be planning to back another candidate. I didn't know who she intended to set up, but it was clear it'd be rough going. Taking into account time and workload, I didn't think it was a cost-efficient plan. 

As I was thinking about Yukinoshita's intentions, I heard a thoughtful huff beside me. "Hmm…" It was merely a meaningless sigh, but it strangely stuck with me. It wasn't sexy or alluring or anything like that. That smile, just a slight twist of her lips as she looked out the window, was eerie even. 

"…Um, is there some reason you thought she would?" I said after a breath's pause. 

Haruno showed me her usual charming smile once more. "Hmm? Oh, because I didn't do it." 

"Uh-huh, are you so sure? That's surprising, though." I'd thought for sure that Haruno would've had a history of roles like that. She had in fact been the chair of the cultural festival. 

But she declared nonchalantly, "Is it? I mean, considering all the work, don't you think it'd be tedious?" 

"Oh, that's why." 

That kinda made sense. 

The fact is that the majority of student council work is dull. They do also help with big events like the cultural festival, but most of the other work is behind-the-scenes stuff like this election management committee, and it's all boring office work. 

I'm sure most of the time they can sit around in the student council room and eat snacks, but if there's ever a problem, the pressure will be on right away. Plus, the members of student council are expected to set a good example to all the students in the school. Well, they're like public servants, so to speak. It's what they call servant service. 

I don't think Haruno is quite the type who likes that kind of attention—I suppose you could call her a hedonist. She likes fun, having a party. Unlike student council, which involves a lot of sober work over a long period of time, the cultural festival is just one big shebang, and running something like that as chair would better suit her image. 

But I couldn't see any of that cheer now. 

"…So bored," she said with a giggle. Her tone was a penetrating cold that made me shiver. What lay at the depths of those words? 

As I was waffling over whether I should even ask, a remark came to me from another direction. "Huh? Hikigaya?" 

The unexpected voice was like a cheese grater against my brain. 

I turned around to see two high school girls. 

One of them had a short bob in a loose perm. Her eyes beneath that had a slight edge to them, a blank look on her face. She was the one who'd addressed me. She wore the uniform of Kaihin Secondary 

School, which is fairly close to where I live, but she was carrying a bag from a private school in the city. She wasn't someone I was used to seeing. 

But I instantly knew who she was. "…Orimoto." Her name came out softly. 

I'd thought all my middle school classmates had been abandoned at the bottom of my memory. 

But Kaori Orimoto's name came up easily. 

The unexpected chance encounter made me stiffen up. 

We each looked at the other's face, sizing each other up. 

Suddenly, the events of two, three years ago passed through my mind. I could feel the sweat glands on my scalp opening, and wet drops sliding down my back, too. 

Orimoto had a friend with her, a girl who was also wearing a Kaihin uniform and looking over at us with mild reserve. 

Her friend looked at loose ends, but Orimoto didn't seem particularly concerned as she patted my shoulder and cried, "Wow, this takes me back! This is a rare character!" 

As she stared at me rudely, all I could do was put on a stiff smile. 

Indeed, based on the standards of the middle school we'd gone to, her encounter rate with me would be low. I might have noticed her, but she'd never notice me. 

But if we were talking rarity, it was also plenty rare for her to not only see me but come talk to me, too. This was something that hadn't changed since middle school. 

Orimoto was the so-called team mom, the self-professed big-sister type. She would talk to anyone and always got as close to people as possible. 

After marveling at my presence for a while, she suddenly paused. "Huh? Hikigaya, are you going to Soubu?" 

"Y-yeah." Her comment made me twist around to look at my uniform. Of the top university-oriented public high schools in the prefecture, ours is the only one that includes a blazer in the uniform. So any student living in the area would recognize it on sight. 

It seemed Orimoto did, too, as she made an impressed noise. "Ohhh. That's surprising. So you must be smart! Oh, but I guess I never knew your test scores or anything at all, huh? I mean, you never talked to anyone." Still blunt as ever. She consciously avoided building walls and would deliberately dive right in. 

She had to be trying to be the "real" type. 

And then, as if it were the obvious thing to do, her interest turned toward Haruno beside me instead. "Your girlfriend?" she said in wonder, comparing me and Haruno. 

Uncomfortable under her gaze, my voice got quieter than intended when I answered, "No…" 

"Of course nooot! I figured there was no way!" Orimoto cackled, and her friend hid her mouth behind a hand as well to restrain a giggle. 

A long time ago, I'd have interpreted that as a carefree laugh. I'd taken her stance of talking to anyone to be an expression of kindness. 

"Ha-ha-ha…" Why am I doing this ingratiating laugh? Gross. 

A scene from two or three years ago tried to push its way into my mind. The humorless laugh left my mouth like vomit. 

Watching our exchange from the side, Haruno casually examined my face. "Your friend, Hikigaya?" 

Was it my imagination, or did it seem like she was asking that question with the vague implication of …You had friends? No, not my imagination. 

Well, if you asked me if Orimoto was a friend, the answer was no, so I couldn't argue. 

But I know the optimal answer for these sorts of situations. "She's a classmate from middle school." Yes, yes, that should be correct. I mean, when people who I'd thought were my friends introduced me to other people, that's how they'd described me. 

After I answered, Orimoto bobbed her head in a bow at Haruno. "I'm Kaori Orimoto," she introduced herself. 

Haruno examined Orimoto with her usual scrutinizing look. "Hmm… Oh, I'm Haruno Yukinoshita. I'm Hikigaya's…his… Hey, what am I to you?" 

"Uh, don't ask me." And why is she leaning into me in that sorta coquettish way, too? Stop with those upturned eyes, please. 

"It'd be strange to call us friends, wouldn't it? Hmm, then big sister? Oh, or sister-in-law…" Considering, Haruno put her hand to her jaw and glanced over at me. When I returned her look with apathetic eyes, she smirked. "Oh, how about taking the middle ground and saying girlfriend?" 

What's with this beautiful declaration of love? 

And what's wrong with her? How do you start with friend and big sister and end up with that? Wait…but if you swap older for younger sister, then my, how curious! Wait, nope, still doesn't work. 

This was so clearly teasing, there was no way for me to mistake it for anything else, so I could respond calmly. "Can't we just call you someone from school?" 

"You're so cold." Haruno said, puffing out her cheeks in a pout. I thought about poking her in that round cheek, but there was no way I could do that, so I shrugged instead. 

This exchange came off as rather forced, but now I was glad Haruno was there. Her presence kept me from thinking too deeply. This may have been the first time I'd ever felt thankful to her. If I'd run into Orimoto by chance and she'd spoken to me while I was alone, I would've fallen to the bottom of the dumps, gone home, and spent about five hours talking with the wall. 

I'd call Kaori Orimoto my middle-school nightmare. 

I wanted to get her and her friend to leave as soon as possible, before various items of the past could be dug up, but this prayer was in vain, as Orimoto said to Haruno, "It's so nice to see friends who used to go to your school, huh?" 

"Right? But our relationship is more than that." 

"Ohhh? What else is there?" 

Orimoto's friend occasionally made polite remarks, and the idle conversation went on. 

I kept silent, watching as they talked. 

Small talk doesn't come with obvious end points. It'll slide on sideways forever. The only action I was allowed to take in the meantime was to sigh and put my lips to my café au lait. My forced walk down this minefield continued. 

Suddenly, the conversation stopped. 

I figured the conversation had gone on surprisingly long for a first meeting and they would be using this moment to begin the process of parting ways. 

But Haruno folded her arms solemnly and, with a thin smile on her face, said, "But anyway, the same school as Hikigaya, huh? Any funny stories?" 

Taking that question as an opportunity to continue the conversation, Orimoto said, "Hmm…" as she began to search her memory. 

I had a really bad feeling. A really bad vision of the near future, to be precise. 

"Come on, there's got to be something, right? Oh, like about his love life! I'd love to hear about his love life!" Haruno stirred the pot further, seemingly having a grand old time. 

Sweat dampened my back once more, and I felt as if I were in middle school again. It nearly made me burst out laughing. Oh, I remembered well. Good grief. People only ever remember bad things. 

If my communication skills had been a little better, I'm sure I could have admitted it myself and turned that love talk into a selfdeprecating funny story. It's completely different when you say that stuff yourself, compared with when others say it about you. I should've taken the initiative. But since I wasted time on these thoughts, because I hesitated, I didn't make it in time. 

Orimoto combed back her curled hair and smiled shyly. "Oh, that reminds me, once he told me he had a crush on me." She didn't waste any time. 

"No way!" 

Not only Haruno but also Orimoto's friend giggled and joined in on the conversation, too. "I'd love to hear more." 

It seemed this topic was enough to get them worked up, and having drawn this card, Orimoto went on gleefully. "We'd never even spoken before, so I was really freaked out!" Or so she said. 

But we had talked. I know we had. 

I guess Orimoto didn't remember. Or to be more accurate, she hadn't realized it was me she was speaking to. 

And not just that. We'd texted, too. 

When she'd given me her e-mail out of either pity or sympathy, I'd wrung every one of my brain cells trying to figure out how to message her, coming up with trivial reasons to text her, and flipping between joy and sorrow depending on whether she responded. I got so angry at the promotional e-mails that arrived in my inbox while I waited for her replies that I'd unsubscribed from them all. 

Orimoto probably didn't know or remember any of it. 

I'm sure at that time in life, everyone will have a crush on someone, and that's why they won't be interested in anyone outside their circle. The actions of someone like that might be used as joke material, but they won't be allowed to remain as memories. 

Her words brought back my own memories, though, and the memories stirred my emotions. 

Those events, which I thought I'd laughed off long ago, stabbed right at the spot where I'd been wounded then. My mouth, stuck twisted in a strained, polite smile, slowly expelled a deep, deep sigh. 

"Oh, so Hikigaya confessed, did he?" Haruno said, as if she were surprised. But I could see a tinge of sadism in her gleeful eyes. It made me suspect maybe she'd inferred from my reaction to Orimoto that something was up, and that was why she'd dragged this fact out of her. 

Looking at a corner of the floor, I somehow moved my lips. "Well, it was a long time ago…" 

"Right? It was a long time ago, so whatever, right?" 

I think me and Orimoto meant that in different ways. 

Orimoto laughed innocently, because it was a long time ago, because it was done, because it was over, so she was free to say anything now. I doubt she meant it maliciously. She only wanted to have a fun chat. Orimoto's friend and Haruno were smiling as if this was all just a fond little memory. 

It was exactly like back then. 

Back then, when I had confessed to her, I'd thought we were alone, but for some reason, the next day everyone in the class knew. I could hear their snickers from a distance. 

I confessed, I was rejected, and that's fine. That doesn't really matter. With the passage of time, that can become a funny story. You can accept it as just another story from your youth. 

What was hard was realizing how deeply upset I was over a little "no" from the girl I liked. But it had been my fault for not even understanding that much, for not recognizing it sooner. My own youthful ignorance was the one thing I couldn't laugh off. 

They kept on talking a while, but I couldn't even hear them. 

I think I was zoning out, lost in the past. 

"Oh, that's right, Hikigaya." 

"Hmm?" Hearing my name drew my attention. 

Orimoto must have forgotten what they'd been talking about already, as she brought up something completely different. "So hey, if you go to Soubu, then do you know Hayama?" 

"Hayama…," I repeated automatically, and Orimoto suddenly barreled on ahead. 

"Yeah, Hayama! From the soccer club!" 

Given the additional information, she had to mean the same Hayato Hayama I knew. "Yeah, well, I guess." 

"For real?! I know so many girls who wanna meet him! Like this one," Orimoto exclaimed, interrupting me slightly. Then she pointed at the 

girl beside her. "Hey, this is a friend from my school, Chika Nakamachi." 

Nakamachi smiled vaguely and gave a casual head bob. Orimoto jabbed her repeatedly in the side with her elbow. "Hey, Chika, he might introduce you to Hayama." 

"Huh? It's okay, though," Nakamachi said, but judging from the lack of shyness in her reaction, she seemed to have hopes. 

But unfortunately, I wasn't that close with Hayama. We hadn't even exchanged phone numbers. "Uh, he's not really an acquaintance of mine…," I said. 

Orimoto didn't really look disappointed; rather, it seemed she'd expected as much. She nodded in a slightly exaggerated manner. "Yeah, of course. I doubt you'd spend much time with each other." 

"Ha-ha-ha…" Another dry laugh came out of me. Something had been tangled in the back of my throat all this time. 

I cleared my throat a few times, nearly drowning out Haruno's quiet mutter: "…Hmm. Sounds fun." 

"Huh?" 

I turned around to see her eyes shining suspiciously. Then her hand shot into the air. "Ohhh! I'll introduce you! I'm a big sister, after all." 

"What?" 

Orimoto, Nakamachi, and I were all confused as Haruno popped her phone out and started making a call. 

She tapped on the tabletop with her knuckles until the call went through. It rang about three times, I guess, and then as soon as it was clear the person had picked up, Haruno started speaking quickly. "Oh, Hayato? Can you get over here right now? Like, seriously, just come." Once she'd said her piece, she immediately hung up. 

"What are you doing…?" I moaned. 

"Mm, hee-hee! " Haruno had a broad grin on her face. 

She looks like she's really enjoying herself… 

As we waited for Hayama to arrive, I stared blankly out the window at the city. 

The sun had already fully set on Chiba, and the town was gradually starting to show why it was an entertainment district. Neon lights danced on the signs of the karaoke parlor across the street, and looking up, you could see the monorail cutting through the darkness of the night. There must have been a lot of people out on the town, as I caught sight of groups of people strolling abreast. 

Eventually, we heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs of the restaurant. 

"Oh, sounds like he's here." Haruno leaned back to look over at the stairs, and sure enough, Hayato Hayama came over. 

He must have come straight from soccer practice, as he was still in his uniform, athletic bag over his shoulder. When he saw us, he loosened his bolo tie, expression slightly tired. "What is this, Haruno?" Hayama took a good look at her and, while he was at it, glanced over at Orimoto and Nakamachi. Then finally, his gaze slid over to me and stopped right there. 

"These girls wanted to meet you, Hayato." Haruno spread her hands and then swept one over to indicate Orimoto and her friend. 

They must not have thought Hayama would actually come, as they giggled excitedly, leaning their faces close to whisper something to each other. 

"…I see." Hayama let out a sigh that was so very short and quiet you would probably miss it, but then he immediately put on a bright grin. "Nice to meet you. I'm Hayato Hayama." Like flipping a switch, he showed us his usual Hayato Hayama face. After introducing himself, he began to chat pleasantly with them while Orimoto and Nakamachi cranked up the cuteness. 

Thanks to the interest and attention shifting from me over to Hayama, finally, I could catch my breath. The lightly heated air inside the room somehow tasted better, too. 

Now then, Hayama's here, so I guess I'll leave things to the young'uns and go home… I doubted I'd be seeing that movie now. If I were to go into the movie theater like this, I had a feeling I'd immediately fall asleep. 

I closed my unfinished paperback and put it away in my bag. As I waited for the right moment to smoothly slip in a good-bye, the four of them seemed to be getting into their chat. 

"Hey, why don't we go hang out some time?" 

"Oh, I like that!" Orimoto and Nakamachi said, and Hayama nodded casually with a smile. 

This is a technique only permitted to attractive guys who know how to work the mood without saying anything of substance: to indicate an answer with general attitude, without saying yes or no. When a guy at normal level or below does that, people will call him wishywashy or completely ignore him. 

"Yeah, yeah, it'd be nice to go hang out. I'd love if we could all go. 

It'd be great," Haruno said with utter seriousness, folding her arms. 

Their agreement got Orimoto and her friend excited, of course, and they started discussing all the places they'd like to go. 

I just noticed this, but when Haruno says, We could all go, I'm not invited, am I…? 

Well, that was obvious. 

From their perspective, I was nothing more than an offering to use to summon Hayama. I mean, in order to do a Tribute Summon of a monster over level 5, you need to Tribute a lower-level monster and send it to the Graveyard, so there's no helping that. Stick to the rules and happy dueling! 

As a loner who'd already been sent to the Graveyard, all I could do was watch things happen. 

They chatted very pleasantly for a bit, but before fifteen minutes had passed, Hayama seemed to have adroitly managed to slip out of the conversation, skillfully creating a moment in which the two girls were forced to withdraw. 

"Then we should get going…" 

"Yeah, see you again, Hayama! I'll text you!" They waved, and Hayama waved back. Even as they left, the girls were chattering away about Hayama, like, "Wow," "So cool," "Wow," but once they disappeared down the stairs, I couldn't hear their voices anymore. 

I watched the two of them disappear completely from sight, and then Hayama's smile quickly shifted into something much colder. His eyes flicked over at Haruno in a glare. "…Why do this?" 

"Because it seemed fun." Haruno bubbled with laughter, without an ounce of timidity. Her laugh was far from anything that could be called innocent—her malice was transparent. 

Hayama breathed a sigh, seemingly in admonishment or reproach. "That again… So then why is he here, too? He doesn't have anything to do with this," Hayama said, turning only his head toward me, and Haruno immediately countered him. 

"Not true! That girl—oh, the one with the perm—Hikigaya once had a crush on her! Don't you think that's so funny? I wonder how Yukino-chan would react if she found out… What do you think, Hikigaya?" Then she finished with a smile at me. But she was the only one here who was amused. 

Of course I wouldn't find this funny. And for some reason, Hayama's face was melancholy, too. 

"…" In contrast with Haruno's cheer, Hayama and I were silent. 

When the conversation died, Haruno breathed a short sigh of boredom, then stood up as if moving on, patting Hayama on the shoulder. "Well, just give it a shot. Hang out with them. You might actually have a good time together," she said. 

Hayama's shoulders quietly slumped. His gaze was focused on a point right between his and Haruno's feet. "That won't happen…" 

"Oh? You never know." She casually turned aside Hayama's listless reply and tugged up one of her sleeves. A cute silver-and-pink wristwatch shone there. "Yep, this has been a nice way to fill time. Right, I'm off now." Before she even finished talking, Haruno briskly gathered up her things. "Hikigaya, thank you for spending time with me," she whispered like it was a secret, leaning into my ear. 

A fresh floral scent wafted off her as her soft breath brushed my ear. It made me automatically lean away. My ears are really ticklish, so please don't do that! I took two, three steps back to quickly get away from her right as she walked by me, jauntily heading toward the stairs. 

Before she left, she spun around to wave. "Tell me if anything happens, 'kay?" 

I bowed, implicitly expressing, It kinda seems like you're saying that to me, but nothing is gonna happen to me, 'cause I wasn't invited, and watched her go. 

Now that all the chattery women were gone, there was silence. 

It was only me and Hayama left. 

But so what if we were here together? It wasn't like there was anything for us to do. 

We had nothing to talk about. 

The two of us had spoken in the past, but we were done with that now. Though we had similar goals and ideas, I understood exactly how divided we were, and that was why I had no hope of changing that. 

We probably wouldn't have any further contact in the future. I could tell that clearly from his and his friends' attitudes that morning. We had both made that choice. 

I grabbed my bag and started walking. 

"You…" His voice came at my back, so quiet it could vanish any second. 

There was no reason for me to talk. But my feet stopped on their own. I waited for him to continue, without turning around. 

"…Haruno likes you." 

"What?" My head jerked around at the unexpected remark. When our eyes met, he chuckled. It made me feel uncomfortably transparent, and I faced forward again. "Don't be dumb. She's just messing with me." 

"I think she's interested in you, at least." Hayama's voice reached me from behind. His tone changed suddenly. "She doesn't mess with anyone she's not interested in… She wouldn't do anything in that case. If she likes you, she'll kill you with attention. If she hates you, she'll destroy you." 

Was that advice or a warning? The words were barbed, that was for sure. I was curious as to his expression then, but still, I didn't turn around. 

"…That's scary." 

But that honest impression, that fact I'd realized long ago, slipped out of me. 

Rolling on and on down the national highway at night on my bicycle, I finally returned to my neighborhood. It hadn't even been a day, but already, I missed it dearly. 

I got home and opened the front door, and for once, Kamakura came to greet me. He made a half-hearted mraah, rubbing his head and body all over my legs. 

You'll get cat hair on my uniform; cut that out. 

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, but kitties don't talk, and he made a displeased huffing sound, and coupled with his meow, it came out like meow-rrrng. What's up with that? Is it a greeting, like "meowning"? 

"C'mon, let's go," I said to the cat and went up the stairs. 

The lights on the second floor were off. 

Our parents wouldn't be home yet, and it seemed Komachi had yet to return, too. She'd probably gone to cram school. Entrance exams were looming in three months. 

There was already cat hair on my uniform, so I decided to get changed into the tracksuit I wore at home. I took my uniform off and tossed it somewhere, then headed for the living room. As I did, I didn't forget to bring in the donuts I'd bought as a souvenir. I hoped this would cheer her up a bit. 

And there, as if he'd been waiting for me, was Kamakura yet again, softly mewling in an aggressive bid for attention. 

"What, you still want something?" 

Mraa, replied Kamakura, heading toward the back of the kitchen. 

There was a bowl there with wooden letters stuck to it. At a glance, it looked like a bowl made by Kadokawa, but no, it was Kamakura's food bowl, handmade by Komachi. 

At the moment, there was only crumbs and kibble dust in it. 

"…No food, huh?" 

Hey, so you didn't come to greet me? The whole time, you were just whining for food? You're not cute at all, you know. 

I pulled the sort of Silver Spoon-ish kibble they say makes cats come running from a bin at the back of the kitchen and poured it noisily into his bowl. You know, the way this stuff looks, you might pour milk on it and expect it to taste like chocolate. 

Immediately after I started pouring in the kibble, Kamakura shoved his head in the stream, so I didn't know if I was pouring it into the bowl or onto the cat's head. 

"Make sure you actually chew." I gave Kamakura one last pat, wiped off the dust stuck to his head, and staggered over to the sofa, where I flopped straight down. 

I sighed deeply. 

Then I did it again, and again, like this was some kind of deep breathing exercise. 

When I lay there without even twitching, Kamakura came up to my feet with a quiet mew. 

I figured he'd come over to report to me that he'd finished eating, but then he climbed onto my legs where I was sitting on the couch. With a satisfied-sounding fumf sort of exhale, he started purring. 

"…Huh. So you can actually be considerate, huh?" He was probably just cold and using me as a hot-water bottle, but, well, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt this time. 

As I ran my fingers through the fur on his back, gradually, my eyelids became heavier. 

It's been a long day. 

I'm really worn out. 

4 

Quietly, Yukino Yukinoshita resolves herself. 

I was awoken by a stabbing chill. 

"…Cold." 

When I squirmed away from the sofa, a blanket slid off me. 

It seemed I'd fallen asleep there the night before. I did remember my mom griping at me—If you fall asleep there, you'll catch a cold, or something like that. However, her admonition had been in vain, as I'd apparently fallen right back asleep. Since I vaguely remembered this exchange, I must have said something in response, but I guess in the end, I'd fallen asleep on the sofa. My companion Kamakura had disappeared at some point, too. He must have been sleeping somewhere warmer. 

Creaking with stiffness in my neck, shoulders, and back, I got up and spotted breakfast ready on the table. 

Munching on the food as I looked around the house, I found my parents had already left, and Komachi had gone to school, too, leaving me as the straggler. The takeaway donuts I'd left on the table had decreased in number by a few, meaning someone had eaten some. 

As I changed into my school uniform, the chill in the air pierced my body. It was getting stronger every day. Maybe I really have caught a cold…or did I not get enough sleep because I slept in a funny position? 

I had a bit of a headache, too. Do we have any painkillers around? I fished through the cabinet, found what I'd been looking for, and took it. 

Nwhooaaaaa! This medishine is shoo gooood! 

Phew, you've gotta do that whenever you take medicine, really. 

I left the house, repeating "It's cold, it's so freaking cold" like I was muttering in delirium or something, pedaling my bike to school. 

The day before had been the first day of school after the field trip, so there had still been this kind of giddy atmosphere, but now that school was back to normal, that feeling had vanished somewhere far away. 

Before me was the same familiar scenery of nearly two years now: the school gates, parking lot, and entrance. But I didn't feel attached to any of it, strangely. 

Approaching the entrance, I ran into Yuigahama. 

"Ah… M-morning." 

"Uh-huh." We exchanged a brief greeting and headed to the classroom. Her footsteps following me from behind were more reserved than usual. 

I heard a sigh slip out of her. It was slightly choked, as if something were caught in the back of her throat. I made every effort to ignore it and continue on down the hallway. 

As we approached the stairs, the crowd thinned out somewhat. As if she'd been waiting for this moment, Yuigahama trotted up the stairs two at a time to line up beside me. "T-today…will you…be going to the clubroom?" she asked, probing, the words faltering on their way out of her mouth. 

But my reply was obvious. "No, I won't," I said. 

As if she'd known how I would respond, she immediately smoothed things over with a smile. "Y-yeah… U-um, we're thinking we'll talk with Iroha-chan a little more, um, like to firm up some kind of plan, so…" 

I inferred from the way she spoke that she'd be working with Yukinoshita. The two of them had probably discussed things the day before, after I'd left. 

It took Yuigahama only a few steps' worth of time to say the rest of what she had to say. "And if you didn't know, Hikki, it'd be kinda like, you know, so…" 

That you know held a lot of meaning. It was the sort of vague wording that made you want to sniff out exactly what she wanted to say. But looking at Yuigahama beside me as she spoke, her face turned downward, I could understand that she had no other way to express herself. 

I should have been used to walking these stairs, but they felt particularly long. 

"Aren't you…?" The words suddenly popped out of my mouth. 

"Huh?" 

"…No, it's nothing." I'd started to say, Aren't you angry? but then stopped. Just how awkward could I be? Pathetic. 

How could I fail to pick up on that much? 

Yuigahama wanted to keep things the way they had been by spending her time the same as she always had. 

That should be in agreement with what I had done. 

You bury it out in the yard, act like it's okay, make it so it's never happened, and go back to how you lived before. And then eventually, once it can no longer be taken back, once it's gone and forgotten, you will regretfully think, Oh, this was how it was back then, and tell yourself it was a bittersweet memory. 

"…Well, if it's just to hear what you guys say," I said, right when we were shy of the top of the steps. I immediately turned the hallway corner, so I didn't catch her reply. 

Class ended, and the other students left the room in clusters. Of course, some stayed behind to hang out and chat, and some would talk for a while before they went to their clubs. 

I quickly got myself ready to go, then sat there in my chair, taking a few deep breaths. I couldn't go straight home. 

Since attendance to the Service Club had become voluntary, there was nothing compelling me there. But just as I'd discussed with Yuigahama when I'd come to school that morning, I had to go to the service clubroom to hear what Isshiki had to say. 

Frankly speaking, the plan I had in mind could be carried out regardless of Isshiki's intentions or her situation, so I didn't really need to hear this. But still, the direction Yukinoshita and Yuigahama took their approach could affect my plans somewhat. So the main point of this was, if anything, to hear what the two of them would say. 

How long had it been since I'd directly opposed Yukinoshita? This was like when we'd first met, when we'd been criticizing every little thing about each other's methods. Though actually, I feel like that was more my way of doing things being criticized. 

Yeah. Thinking about it that way, this was more of the same. Yet again, Yukinoshita was rejecting my methods. So then the format here hadn't changed—the old status quo had been maintained. 

If nothing had changed, then there was no problem. 

Coming to this conclusion, I stood from my seat. 

I took a covert look around the classroom. Nobody was here, aside from a few people chatting. It seemed Yuigahama had already left. 

I went out into the hallway and headed to the special-use building. School had only just ended, so this area should have been full of cultural clubs doing their thing, but the hallway was particularly vacant. Thinking about it, I hadn't walked down this hallway last year around this time. I discovered for the first time how cold the air wafting through was in late fall. 

Coming to the clubroom door, I opened it without hesitation. 

"Oh, you came…," Yuigahama said. She looked over at me with an expression of relief. 

There were two others in the clubroom. Yukinoshita glanced at me. She must have been writing something, as she immediately returned her attention to the paper in her hands. 

The other person present, Iroha Isshiki, was sitting opposite from Yukinoshita and Yuigahama. She spun her whole body around to look at me and gave me this curious look like, Who is this guy again? And then, like she was saying, Guess I'll just smile, then, she beamed and gave me a casual bow. 

Well, no surprise there. Given her position, I'm sure I'm a creature of little importance. Especially since she's usually hanging around Hayama and his crowd, so she's also associated with the top caste. 

But in spite of that, she didn't blatantly ignore me, and that made me feel like she understood how to get on in the world. Frankly speaking, if this had been me a long time ago, I'm confident that this alone would have been enough for me to develop a crush on her. Let me put it another way—that somewhat cunning side of her had to be what had gotten the other girls fed up with her, leading us to where we were now. 

I replied with a casual bow of my own and sat in my usual seat. Then Yukinoshita opened her mouth. "Well, let's hear what you have to say." 

Isshiki hadn't said anything yet? I flicked my eyes over to the clock to see a fair bit of time had passed since the end-of-class bell had rung. I'd told Yuigahama that morning I would come, so apparently, they had waited for me. 

"…Sorry to make you wait," I said. 

Yukinoshita closed her eyes, not looking at me. "…It's all right." She didn't say anything after that. 

When a strange and uncomfortable silence fell, Yuigahama smiled in embarrassment and turned back to Isshiki. "Um, sorry to make you come here. Weren't you busy with your club?" 

"No, not at all! Plus, when I told Hayama I had some important stuff to do, he let me go," Isshiki replied cheerfully, leaning forward a bit as she continued. "But wait, Yui, you're in the same class as Hayama, right? Did you tell him about me?" 

"Huh? …Hmm, I don't really feel like I did." Mouth half-open, Yuigahama tilted her head as she searched her memories, but it seemed there was nothing relevant. 

Hearing this, Isshiki sullenly fell into thought. "…Is that right? He let me go so easily, I wondered if he'd heard something." 

Agh, I get it. Inferring from her comments, Isshiki liked Hayama. 

So she wanted to make sure that he'd let her slip out of club easily because he knew what her situation was and Not at all because he doesn't need me or anything, right? 

Hey, I can kind of understand those feelings, so, man, this is hard to comment on. If you're gonna read into the things people do and say, then read into it and no more, you know?! Because discovering the truth just hurts. 

If even I was noticing Isshiki's feelings on this matter, of course Yuigahama would notice, too. She made an Oh, crap! face, then immediately attempted to smooth over the situation. "Oh, but this is Hayato, so if he knows he'd, like, you know, I think he'd be considerate in all sorts of ways! So even if he was concerned, he'd actually be like…you know?" 

"Y-yeah, you're right!" 

Yuigahama and Isshiki both laughed it off. Ha-ha-ha! 

Yukinoshita, who had been watching their exchange with disinterest, identified that the conversation had reached a break. "Yuigahama," she said, "let's get started." 

"Yeah, okay. We're going to decide on our plan, so could we talk about things?" 

When Yuigahama got to the subject at hand, Isshiki replied with a drawn-out "Okaaay!" 

"So here's what we think is best. First, we set up another candidate besides you, and you run against them. Then you lose to them in a ballot without a fuss. But does that sound good?" 

"Yeah, like, a ballot could do it, huh? Oh, but if possible, it'd personally be pretty sweet to lose to someone great!" Isshiki replied cheerfully, though it seemed she'd hardly considered the matter. 

Though Yuigahama was the one explaining the plan, that idea was the one Yukinoshita had brought up the day before. The two of them must have discussed it and settled on this. Now they would confirm what Isshiki wanted and then work out further details. 

That much was fine. But the problem still remained. "Have you found a candidate?" I asked. 

"Well, not yet…" At a loss for words, Yuigahama turned away. 

Well, it wasn't like they were going to decide in one day. What was important was the deadline for deciding. "How much longer is the application open for additional candidates?" 

"Monday, the week after next. But still, we're already past the original deadline, so we shouldn't wait until then to decide. That's the only day they're taking applications. The election is the Thursday of that week," Yukinoshita replied instantly, though I'd meant to ask that of Yuigahama. Her eyes were down on the paper on the table, and there were no signs of emotion in the minimal information she offered. 

Loosely folding my arms, I calculated the time between that day's date and the deadline. 

It was Tuesday. It was also after school, so I should assume that the real attempt to find a candidate wouldn't start until the next day. Considering they couldn't do anything on weekends, they didn't have much time. Taking into account the documents for application and collecting the list of nominators, that meant their time was even more limited. And they had to find someone who surpassed Iroha Isshiki, to boot. 

"So you find a candidate, convince them, and come up with at least thirty nominators. And then there's the election campaign…," I murmured, thinking aloud. 

Yukinoshita replied coldly, "I'm aware we don't have much time left." Then she lifted her chin, which had been tilted downward until then, and said to Isshiki, "So then, I intend to proceed with everything else…Isshiki." 

"R-right." Isshiki seemed flustered as she replied. I supposed a soft and ditzy type like her would have trouble dealing with brisk types like Yukinoshita. She quickly adjusted her posture, sitting up straight. Although her fingers were still plucking her overlong sleeves, her hands fidgeting with her somewhat short skirt slightly, I couldn't see much anxiety in those gestures. 

Isshiki gave Yukinoshita a solemn look, telling her she was ready to listen, and with those eyes on her, Yukinoshita began. "No matter how we do this, you'll have to be standing up there for the campaign speech, Isshiki." 

"Agh, well, that's fine…" 

Well, it seemed like she was used to being the focus of attention. But she didn't sound like she understood at all, which bothered me. That would make some trouble for me, too. Just as Yukinoshita said, Isshiki would be going up to the podium for the plan I was thinking of, too. 

"The campaign speech is an announcement of your campaign promises, and I believe that will be your focal point during the speech. Though I doubt anyone will be listening very closely…" Her words sounded self-deprecating, somehow. She seemed to be implying something else, but before I could think about it, Yukinoshita continued. "I believe it would be preferable for you to present a different campaign pledge in your speech from the one for the candidate we arrange. If the pledges are too similar, the vote will become a popularity contest, so I want to ensure there's something else to set you apart." 

If they could find someone to back who was even more popular than Isshiki, that would be ideal, but if they couldn't, and it ended up a vote of popularity, that would make it a tough fight for someone who wasn't as well-known. If the candidates were saying the same thing, people would choose whoever looked better. Who is speaking matters more than the message. 

Isshiki and Yuigahama were going "Hmm, hmm" and nodding as if maybe they understood and maybe they didn't. 

Concerned by their reactions, Yukinoshita held out a piece of paper. 

"This is what I thought up for the election pledges and the speech. Please take a look. It would be helpful if you would use this as a reference to come up with something different." 

From behind, I peered at the paper Isshiki took from her. 

"…Um, is this it?" Isshiki said with surprise, skimming over it. Indeed, the content, written in meticulous handwriting, was brief and not what you might expect from Yukino Yukinoshita. 

There were two election promises: the establishment of a room for students to research and prepare for university, and the relaxation of standards for the provision of club funds. For the club expenses, it was exactly what it said on the tin and easy to understand. As for the other promise, the university prep room, looking over the text, I got the gist of it. 

It seemed to refer to the systematization and storing of academic know-how through the supply and loan of past problem collections and the creation of a database of old routine tests, for the sake of supporting students' studies. It wasn't simply about establishing a reference room—the key point was that the breadth was expanded to include routine tests. Being able to get extra points on those tests would be reassuring for those students who were aiming for recommendations to their schools of choice. 

It seemed this stance was meant to accommodate both those in clubs and those focusing on entrance exams. 

"Ohhh," murmured Isshiki as she scrutinized the paper, but those two points were all that Yukinoshita had written there. 

Observing this, Yuigahama combed at her bun. "Well, I thought it might not be enough, too." 

"With this sort of thing, quantity isn't the issue. Even one would work," Yukinoshita said with a smile at Yuigahama. It was a peaceful expression that made her look more mature than usual. 

I got her point. That was pretty much all anyone would actually care about in the speech. You could say a lot, but nobody would be listening anyway. It was important to narrow it down to the points they would hear. 

But still, I thought it was suspicious that she seemed strangely familiar with this until I suddenly remembered about Yukinoshita's family. Her father was a prefectural assembly member or something, wasn't he? So she may have been familiar with elections and speeches and things of that nature. Meaning it was fine for her to be proposing these election promises. 

What bothered me was what would come next. 

"…Hey, so if you guys are coming up with the campaign pledges, that means you're arranging a total puppet candidate. Are you okay with that?" 

"…" Yukinoshita had been faintly smiling, but now a shadow fell over her expression. It seemed I'd hit a sore point, and she fell silent. 

Yuigahama and Isshiki looked over at me, seeking explanation. 

"If your plan goes well, then that's fine. Though I don't think that's realistic… But if the candidate you guys set up manages to get elected, what about the management of the student council after that? Are you going to keep helping them? The whole time?" Even though I didn't mean to be accusatory, my tone got sharper with each word. 

Yuigahama cut me off. "S-so then, we should just look for someone who can do the job properly." 

"That just makes your task even harder. If you consider further down the road, there's not much point in that method, and it's not a very good one to begin with." This wasn't only about this election. It would also involve the management of student council from here on out, too. Yukinoshita and Yuigahama's idea still wouldn't be enough to resolve it. 

I couldn't see the point. 

Yukinoshita's gaze dropped to the desk, and I couldn't see her expression. Face tilted down, delicate fingers tightly laced together, her thin shoulders didn't even twitch. 

But after a small breath, I heard her minutely trembling voice. "…So then what's the point of your idea?" she asked. 

I came up with no answer right away. It was late in the game to be asking that question, but I still didn't have an answer ready. 

What point was there in it? 

There was no point. 

There's never any meaning in putting things off, dragging them out, and ultimately wasting everything. That's what my methods accomplish. I didn't need anyone telling me that at this point—I understood it myself. 

But there are problems that can only be eliminated that way. In some cases, this is the most effective method. 

That is a fact. 

If that could be said of this matter as well, then it was clear what I would say. 

"If we assume it's just this once, then it'd avoid the problem for the time being. After she loses the vote of confidence, for the follow-up election, we step back and leave things to their natural course. That's the right answer." 

"Just this once? No. It's not only this time." Yukinoshita didn't sound delicate like she had before. Her voice was severe, accusatory, and cold. 

After looking down all this time, she raised her face. 

Her eyes were burning blue. The sharp light of her eyes wouldn't allow me to turn away. Her gaze was so direct, it was as if it was stabbing me in the neck with an icicle, capturing me and refusing to let go. 

I couldn't help but gulp. 

Yukinoshita bit her lip—as if she was trying to swallow her words. "…You avoided the issue the same way, last time." She spoke so, so quietly, but her voice echoed in my ears. 

It was like my whole brain was being shaken inside my skull. 

In my mind's eye, I could see a bamboo forest illuminated by crisp blue moonlight, branches and leaves rustling in the cold wind. 

In an attempt to shake that off, I unconsciously swept back my hair. 

"So…is there a problem with that?" 

I had not resolved or canceled out the matter of the school field trip. But the problem had been masked. The result, an evasion, wasn't something that would satisfy everyone. In fact, I'd arranged the matter to be dealt with by not satisfying everyone.  

That was why no one could blame me for my actions then. 

Aside from her. 

The sharp light in her glare did not dim or shift away from me. 

Her tightly pressed lips trembled. "You were the one who said there was no meaning in that kind of superficiality…" Her cold, soft voice sounded so sorrowful, somehow. I had to look away. Her piercing remark, her words, was the one thing I had no reply for. 

Because I'm sure that was the one conviction Hachiman Hikigaya and Yukino Yukinoshita had shared. 

When I failed to say anything, she sighed in resignation. "You have no intention of changing, do you?" 

"…No." I could answer that without hesitation. 

I would not change. I could not change. 

"U-um…" Yuigahama opened her mouth in an attempt to do something about the tension. But her eyes wandered all over like she was searching for something to say. Her gaze wavered between the two of us. 

The seconds ticked by with an icy chill. Yukinoshita and I were both starkly silent. 

Isshiki looked at over at Yuigahama uncomfortably. She didn't know me or Yukinoshita, so Yuigahama would be the only one for her to turn to when things were awkward. 

But eventually, Yuigahama was at a loss as to what to say, too. 

Before she could find her words, I stood from my seat. "…I should get going. I get the gist of what's happening." 

There was nothing for me to gain from staying in the clubroom any longer. Just plenty to lose. 

The sound of my indoor shoes ticked out a light rhythm in the quiet room. Nobody moved aside from me. 

The few steps to the door didn't feel long—probably because I was making an effort not to think about anything. Or maybe I was thinking so much, I wasn't even conscious of the time. 

After closing the door behind me, I walked down the hallway for a while, and then the soft sound of a door sliding open cut through the silence. I turned around automatically to find Iroha Isshiki there. My shoulders slumped. It was less out of disappointment and more like relief. I wasn't confident that I could speak well to the others right then. 

She trotted up to me. "Um, is it okay for me to leave this to you…?" she asked, lowering her voice for the benefit of the clubroom behind her. Her question sounded worried. Having come to consult with us, she'd witnessed a vague skirmish that couldn't even be called an argument. Her unease was understandable. "If a decent enough person did show up, then it would be easier for me. I'd rather do that, but…" 

"Then it'd have to be someone on Hayama's level." 

"It can't be him!" 

Of course not… I really doubt he'd do it… "…Well, worst case, we'll manage. It'll work out somehow, even on the day of," I said. 

But Isshiki's mistrust was transparent in her vague response. "Agh, I don't want to just lose, though…" Still, she seemed to make an effort to smooth that over, putting her hands together in front of her chest with a cute smile. "But you've been a help. I mean, nobody else'll help me. You guys are the only ones I can rely on!" 

If I hadn't known anything, that gesture and manner of speaking would have stirred up protective feelings. But since I understood this was a skill she used to get by, I didn't really feel anything. 

She's different from the Kaori Orimoto type. She's motivated entirely by how others see her—how boys see her, specifically. 

"Fluffy-cute me" vs. "forthright and cool me." 

Whichever you choose, you're just slapping a character on yourself, and personal feelings have nothing to do with it. Once you've established that character, you have to take actions that are consistent with it. 

Therefore, she'd act that same way toward me, too. There was no meaning beyond that. 

I wouldn't say this was proof, but she clapped her hands with an 

"Oh!" as if she'd remembered something, then hopped away from me. "I still have my club, so I have to go. Thanks!" She casually raised a hand and then trotted away. Her lack of attachment was a vivid representation of her lack of interest in me. 

I'm sure a long time ago, I would have attached some meaning even to this sort of trivial conversation. 

I'd really only grown in the worst ways. I had to laugh at myself. 

5 

Right to the end, Hayato Hayama just can't understand it. 

A few days had passed since my conversation with Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and Isshiki in the clubroom. 

During that time, my life had consisted of going back and forth between home and school. Whenever I got home, I spent my time without seeing Komachi or having any real conversations. The only one I talked to was the cat, Kamakura. Once the end-of-day homeroom was over that day, too, I'd return home without going by the clubroom. 

Homeroom ended as I was ruminating over these thoughts, ignoring what my teacher was saying. 

I grabbed my bag and stood. The chatter around me told me that Yuigahama was still in the classroom. I fixed my head at a slightly downward angle and walked quickly so as to avoid seeing her. 

When I approached the door, suddenly, a hand fell on my shoulder. "Do you have a minute?" 

I turned around to see Hayama's breezy smile. "…What?" I replied. 

Hayama glanced around a bit before beckoning to me. It seemed he wanted to have some secret talk. 

But I didn't really want to lean in close to him. I mean, Ebina's still in the classroom… That sort of thing is…kinda…embarrassing… 

Well, whatever. There couldn't be any secrets for me and Hayama to talk about, because normally, we didn't even talk at all. If there was something for us to talk about, it'd be what happened during the school field trip. But I doubted either of us would talk about that again. 

I didn't lean toward him, prompting him with my gaze to continue. 

He smiled with a hint of embarrassment. Then he gave up and shrugged. It seemed he'd decided to just talk. "It's about Orimoto and Nakamachi from the other day." 

"Uh-huh." Oh yeah, Haruno wound up introducing him to those girls a while ago, huh? What, is he having problems because they're hitting on him? Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do for him there. 

However, Hayama didn't say anything like that. "I wanted to talk to you a bit about Saturday." 

"Sure." Saturday, huh? Saturday. If we're talking about Saturday, it's gotta be about that. It's the day before Super Hero Time. In other words, he must have been talking about Jewelpet Sunshine and Pretty Rhythm. What, you're checking what time they're airing? It's in the morning, okay? You should know that without having to ask me about it. 

Or so I thought, but of course Hayama wouldn't be asking me about that. 

So then what does he mean, Saturday…? 

As I was mulling over this, Hayama gave me a questioning look. "Did you not hear about it, then? We were texting, and then they invited me to go hang out downtown on Saturday." 

"No, I didn't hear about this…" 

Going to hang out? That was no one I know. 

And, like, I never got any of these messages in the first place, you know? I never even got their contact info. Back when I'd sent Orimoto an e-mail saying I'd changed my address, it had never reached her. 

So of course I wouldn't get invited! Ohhh! They couldn't invite me because they didn't know my e-mail! What shy girls! 

Of course not. 

It went without saying that I was not invited. 

But Hayama must not have understood that, as he tilted his head. "Really…? I thought for sure they meant with everyone." 

I'm sure that's the way it was, in his mind. Everyone getting along peacefully is basically this guy's motto. "That's just a pretext to make you go. And there's no reason for someone who wasn't invited to go in the first place. You should do what you want, right?" 

"So you weren't invited…" Hayama nodded, then continued with a smile. "Why don't you come with us? It'd be nice to have more people." 

"Of course I'm not going…" Is this guy stupid? If I was never invited in the first place, then I'd be a party crasher. I knew for certain that the moment I showed up, they'd look at me like, Why is he here? Besides, there was another problem, aside from how Orimoto and her friend would react. "Plus, do you think I would go hang out with you?" I said. 

Hayama withdrew his smile and turned serious. Of course, I was wearing a similar expression. 

Being of different social classes, ranks, and circumstances, I couldn't imagine us choosing to meet outside of school. If someone who knew who we were at school happened to see us, they'd be confused. Heck, you wouldn't even have to leave school for that. This current conversation was irregular enough already. 

Besides, this combination was impossible not only on an objective basis but also based on subjective consideration, too. 

I hadn't forgotten the pity Hayama showed me after that incident. 

The moment a clear distinction is made between superior and inferior, that authoritatively indicates a division between them. I wouldn't be permitted to cross that line, and neither would I allow Hayama to trespass on my side. 

The world is intolerant, and so am I. 

An onlooker would have seen us standing in silence, glaring at each other. 

Hayama was the one to break the silence. "It would really help me out if you did…so would you please come?" Surprisingly, he bowed his head. I couldn't see his expression because his face was pointing down, but looking at his tightly clenched fists, I could tell he wasn't smiling. 

I didn't know what he was thinking, bowing his head like this. But I still wasn't going to let him tell me what to do. "My presence wouldn't help you at all, and you're not the kind of guy who needs help in the first place," I said. 

Hayama's shoulders moved slightly, but he didn't lift his head. 

"…Besides, I don't like going out on weekends anyway. Oh, hey. Take your friends or something and introduce them. Then everything should work out fine." I said my last sentence over my shoulder as I left the classroom. 

"I get it…," I heard him mutter quietly the moment before I closed the door. 

When I got home, I flopped around on the sofa until midnight. Leaving the TV on, I opened a book and played a game on my phone in one hand. This wonder trade thing is such a godly system—and so kind to loners. 

My parents came home late and griped at me a bunch, but I gave them some half-assed replies like "Uh-huh" and "Hmm," and eventually, they gave up on me. 

Normally, I'd go to bed right away or focus on reading a book, but lately, nothing would distract me. 

Regardless, once it was around midnight, as you might expect, I finally started to get tired. I stretched wide on the sofa and yawned, and that was when the living room door opened. I looked over, thinking the cat must have learned how to open doors on his own, but instead I saw a grumpy-looking Komachi standing there in her nightcap and pajamas. 

As I was struggling to decide whether I should say something to her, she opened her mouth first. "Bro. Phone." 

"Huh?" Her sudden remark made me take out my cell phone, but I saw no call and no e-mails, and also not much battery life, either. Come on, this phone stinks. 

So then I turned back to Komachi, silently asking what the heck she was talking about. And a cell phone flew at me. I barely managed to catch it before it hit me in the face. Then I realized it was Komachi's. "Komachi's gonna sleep. When you're done, leave it there." 

"O-okay." 

Before she'd even finished speaking, Komachi retreated to her own room. 

I looked at her cell phone, which remained in my hand. On-screen was the on hold display. Guess I'll pick up, then. I didn't know who the call was from, but if they had Komachi's number, they had to be someone respectable. I accepted the call and put the phone to my ear, but I was still somewhat cautious as I said into the speaker, "…Hello?" 

"Hyahallo!" A particularly cheerful greeting flew into my ear, making me want to instantly hang up. I drew the phone away from my face and checked the screen again to see Haruno Yukinoshita written there. 

Why is she calling? And wait, how does she know Komachi's number…? As I was glaring at the cell phone with suspicion, I could hear her call, "Heeey." 

But now that I'd answered the phone, I was stuck. Resigned, I put the phone to my ear again. "Do you need something?" I asked. 

She responded with another question that had nothing to do with the one I'd asked. "Did you have a fight with your sister?" 

Had Komachi said something, or had something given her that hint? Of course, sisters of many years would never fight. Witnessing that stuff gives me a stomachache, so please don't. 

"Compared with your family, it hardly counts as a fight," I said with some irony, and Haruno laughed into the phone. 

"Ah-ha-ha, I see." 

"And hey, how did you get Komachi's number in the first place?" 

"Oh, you know, we met briefly after the cultural festival, right? We swapped numbers then." 

So that's when it happened, huh…? I think that was the first time Haruno and Komachi had properly talked, and apparently, they'd very shrewdly exchanged numbers, too. Once again, unbeknownst to me, my sister had expanded her social network. Does she know my own acquaintances' contact info better than I do? 

"Anyway, I heard you were invited on a date, but you're not going?" 

"I wasn't invited…" What's with this woman—did she call me just to shove reality in my face? Or wait, did Hayama talk to her about this? That's going too far… 

As I was considering earnestly explaining how I had not been invited, she told me with some mild kindness, "Hayato's invited you, so you should go." 

"Uh, I'm not going…" 

In the first place, it was illogical. If I went, then the girls would try to be polite for Hayama and avoid giving me nasty looks. His presence would actually make them start being considerate to me and saying stuff like, You really don't have to force yourself! There'll be another time! and they'd even help make it easier for me to announce I was leaving. Whoa, what the heck, which class reunion of mine is this? 

"It's so nice, though. Going on a date with the girl you once liked is so romantic," she said with a teasing giggle. 

"I wouldn't call what happened actually liking her," I answered instantly, and her question came back at me without a pause. 

"What was it, then?" 

I didn't even have to bother thinking about it. I'd already pondered it to death between middle school and now. The words slid out smoothly. "I was just putting my desires on her. It was like a misunderstanding, and I wouldn't call that anything real." 

She'd only spoken to me, just paid me a little attention, and I'd somehow become interested and believed she liked me. As a result, I'd gotten the wrong idea. The idea that she liked me had ultimately only been about me liking her. That sort of egotism is very far from romantic feelings. 

Confessing those feelings and labeling them with the word like is just a way to define them. If you were to ask what the truth was, I wasn't really sure. And all the more so now. 

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. 

Haruno paused for a long while, as if she was considering this. Then she giggled at me. I couldn't see her, but I could still easily imagine her mouth twisting into an enchanting smile. 

Even through the phone, I could easily hear her voice. "You're like a monster of reason." 

"What's that supposed to mean? No, I'm not." I snorted. It was a strangely cool nickname to receive. 

"Oh? Then you're a monster of self-consciousness," Haruno replied, and there was no mirth in her voice then. I could tell she was speaking very seriously. 

Was that why her words made a strange kind of sense to me? 

It's true that an incorrigible amount of self-consciousness is swirling about inside me—probably so much that even my own selfconsciousness would want to deny it. It made me imagine a monster trapped in the dead end of some mazelike place of myth. Did it get killed by the hero in the end? 

Before I could start brooding, her voice scooped me out of those thoughts with particular cheer as she said, "Anyway! Make sure to go on that date. Okay?" 

"Uh, it's not really a good day, though." That line comes out of my mouth right away, even when I'm zoning out. It's aaautooomaaatiiic. 

"That's why we made it on Friday. You don't like going out on weekends, right?" But my foe was not one to be taken lightly, either, as she immediately struck back against my excuse. 

Wait, why does she know what I said? Did Hayama tell her that, too? And hey, how can she go and decide this for me? "Uh, that day's also kinda…" 

"…But you went out with Yukino-chan. Oh, and with Gahama-chan, too," she said, reminding me of early that summer and of summer vacation. 

For some reason, Haruno had also happened to be present both those times. Well, I guess she's just one of those people who's "got it." Very rarely, there are people who naturally draw to themselves the things that would entertain them. All I can think of those people is that they just happened to be chosen. 

But neither of those two events was a date or anything like one. 

I'm sure there was a greater issue in either case. 

I didn't know how I might correctly describe those events. I merely put together the words that came to mind. "…That was just like going shopping or running errands." 

"And this is just going to hang out, right? You'll be nothing more than Hayama's chaperone. Simply walking in the same direction, so to speak," she said, and I had trouble replying to that. If you were going to attach special meaning to the act of going to hang out, that meant I would also have to find some special meaning in those old shopping trips slash errands. 

As I was left speechless except for some pained noises, Haruno slammed me with yet another question. "Or…are you expecting a certain something to come from it, perhaps?" 

"Of course not," I replied immediately. There's no way I'd have any expectations. 

Playful laughter rang out on the other end. "So then there's no problem. Plus, Hayama doesn't normally bow his head to ask people favors." 

"Is that right? He asks people favors quite a lot." 

"But he doesn't bow. He's actually pretty proud, you know." Is that right? 

"If you don't come, I'll go pick you up at your house!" 

The hell, is she like my childhood friend or what? Wait, does she know where I live? That's scary. Which reminds me, the Yukinoshita sisters are childhood friends with Hayama, huh? 

As I was distracted by my impressions of an irrelevant situation, she hung up on me. She says her piece, huh? What a selfish person. But I guess that's just who Haruno Yukinoshita is. 

I put the cell phone on the table, as Komachi had told me to. I could've gone to her room to return it, but she'd probably respond like she had earlier. She'd also said she was going to bed, so even if I went to her room and called out to her, she probably wouldn't reply… Well, she was probably pretending to sleep, though. 

The long phone call had made me a little tired. 

I was about to sink into the sofa again but changed my mind. I felt like I'd fall asleep there again like I had the other day. It'd be best to go to my own bed while I was awake. That would also make it easier for Komachi to come get her phone. 

As I left the living room, I opened and closed the door a bit more noisily than I had to, returning to my room to fall into bed. 

I looked up at the ceiling. 

Though all of this was built on pretense, I had been roped into going to hang out with girls—and with one I'd confessed to a long time ago. 

But still, it wasn't as if I felt anything in particular. As an existence less than air, I would just be waiting for the time to pass. You might say it was like one of those sign-holding jobs. You stand there the whole time, doing nothing but waiting as time goes by. 

This was something similar. I was Hayama's escort—that's it. A side item. Less than pickled vegetables in a boxed lunch. I couldn't even become Saran wrap. Nor could I become Baran and fire off Draura.