24th October, 2021.
Dear diary,
I don't know how this works, I've never owned a diary before. Mom says it's supposed to help, whatever that means. I asked her what it's supposed to help with but she just gave a nervous laugh and walked off.
You are a pretty little book, I'll give you that.
Let me introduce myself. My name's Layla, and this is the year 2021. I'm one of the lucky few that survived the outbreak that took the world by storm, you guessed it. The coronavirus.
Millions of people all over the world died, and I almost died too, but I survived.
Well, I turned sixteen last month, and mom says I'm transitioning into a fine young lady, but I don't feel like I'm transitioning at all. It feels like my whole life paused and the rest of the world moved on without me.
Everyone says at least you survived, as if I'm just supposed to take it like a compliment.
It's not.
So when I punched Regina in the face for saying that, all of a sudden, I became the kid with the attitude problem. That was all it took to become a social outcast.
Anyway, I guess that's the thing these people refuse to get. The doctors say I'm fine. Mom says I'm fine. My classmates pretend I'm fine as long as they're far away from me.
Something about not wanting to catch the disease.
Even though I recovered months ago, they still treat me like I'm contagious. At some point, I heard rumors that I faked the whole ordeal.
They said I wanted to be hooked up to tubes just for attention. People can be ridiculous like that.
But that's not even the part that keeps me up. The real problem is that I don't feel fine. Of course, the doctors don't think anything is wrong with me. They don't see the tightness in my chest everytime I get the urge to cough. They don't see how hurried and loud footsteps make me flinch or how the thought of getting sick again sends me into a cold sweat.
How exactly do you explain to someone that your body healed but your mind didn't?
Mom keeps asking if I want to talk to a therapist, but I know what it is she really wants. She just wants someone else to tell me that "I'm fine" so she can stop worrying. I like that she worries, though. It reminds me that she hasn't completely moved on, not like everyone else.
Anyways, diary. Now, you're stuck with me. Lucky you.
And wow, you really work. I guess I just needed to talk to someone or something that won't talk back.
I can see us becoming really good friends in the future and if you're lucky, I'll tell you who I have a crush on in school.
And no, he's not like the rest of them. He doesn't avoid me simply because I had a communicable disease. He's quite nice, and he greets me everytime we cross paths.
I don't think he knows that his little "hello" basically becomes the highlight of my day. Which sounds pathetic when I write it out but whatever, it's true.
His name is Adrian. He's tall, not like basketball player tall but tall enough to make me tilt my head a little whenever he talks to me.
Sorry, I took a few minutes to squeal.
Anyway, today wasn't that bad. I finally took you out of my drawer because something wonderful happened today. Something you wouldn't believe.
Adrian moved into the house across from mine.
I swear I almost passed out when I saw him.
I was just minding my own business, staring out into the street when I saw a moving van. At first, I didn't think much of it. People move all the time. Maybe I'd get a new view to stare at through my window when insomnia decides to keep me up. But then he jumped out of the van with his messy hair and playful smile.
He looked around the neighborhood like he was trying to get familiar with the place. I hid behind my curtains before his eyes landed on me.
Okay, okay. I need to breathe. It's been like half an hour since then and I'm going crazy. I had no one to talk to about this so I decided to talk to you, the pretty book my mom gave me.
Oh, knock on the door. That must be Mom needing help with something. Hold on, my newly found friend.
:
Diary. That wasn't Mom.
It was him, the boy in my dreams. Not nightmares, dreams.
He was holding a plate of cookies with a ridiculously bright grin. It looked like it was right out of a scene in a movie about wholesome neighbors who definitely don't exist in real life.
Wink wink.
He said he was just moving in with his family across the street and thought to give out some cookies to his new neighbors and introduce himself. I swear, my brain completely forgot how words worked in that moment. I just stared at him in a stunned daze until he laughed.
Not in a mean way though, it was more like he thought I was cute or something. I tried to tell him my name since I wasn't so sure that he knew it.
I know I said he always greeted me whenever our paths crossed but that only started after I let him copy off me during a test once.
Anyways, he's still not like the rest of them. He was the only one who sat with me without fear. He made me feel like a human once more.
Adrian.
What an angel.
He didn't recognize me though. He dropped off the cookies and left saying, "Hope to see you around often."
Or maybe what he meant by that was that he hoped to see me in school.
I don't know, diary. What do you think?
Love, Layla 💛