"Asuka... Rei..."
Shinji in the memory abyss saw them—abandoning everything at the final moment.
Beast Unit-02 and Unit-00 charged toward Zeruel.
"Looks familiar, right?"
"These—you've experienced them all."
His own voice rang again.
Memories surged like tides.
In one loop, he chose to run away at this moment. Alone. Left NERV. Left EVA. Wanted to become ordinary again. Stay away from danger like ordinary people.
Beast Unit-02 launched final charge at Zeruel.
And Rei who wanted to repair her relationship with his father—that girl not good at expressing herself but incredibly gentle inside—used the final measure before Zeruel.
Shinji watched with his own eyes as Unit-00's body turned to charcoal. Got devoured by Zeruel.
"Anger. Sorrow. Filled you. Filled our hearts."
"Then—berserk."
His own voice kept coming with memories.
Bleeding comrades. Consecutively losing girls incredibly important to him.
He went berserk.
Powerful Unit-01 tore through Zeruel's AT Field. He wanted to save back the gentle blue-haired girl. Only this one wish.
However, what answered the boy's intense feelings—an irreversible impact. He became disaster.
Couldn't save back the girl he liked. Couldn't protect anyone. Instead led the world toward apocalypse.
"Just like this."
"Every time you want to do something. Every time you want to stand up. This world gives you malice back."
"Every time. Like this."
Countless figures appeared behind Shinji. Himself from countless loops.
The existence called Shinji Ikari—in any loop, every time he tried to open his closed heart, reality slammed it shut.
"Tired, right?"
"Again and again... loss... pain... sorrow..."
"Stop."
"You can't save anyone. Every time you have such thoughts, someone gets hurt because of you."
"This is this world's malice toward you... toward us."
These were all his own voice. These were all memories he personally experienced. Him at fate's vortex center clearly remembered every bit of malice the world transmitted to him.
Now all loop memories surged toward him at once. Like the entire Earth's oceans surging toward a single flimsy sailboat.
What exactly was his true thoughts?
Which loop's self was truly himself?
When countless lifetimes, countless memories simultaneously exploded in his mind—was he... still himself?
"BOOM!!!"
NERV headquarters' personnel rapidly evacuating. Outside the base, Zeruel already engaged Beast Unit-02.
Beast-like Unit-02 pounced on Zeruel. Frantically tore at its AT Field.
Mental pollution... synchronized body pain—all erupted on Asuka. She nearly fainted from pain. But still gritted her teeth. Heart still held one last bit of hope. Frantically attacked Zeruel.
"You bastard... I'm... the best EVA pilot!"
Asuka roared with confused mind.
Zeruel casually struck her away. Unit lost one arm. Left leg's flesh also blown off. But she couldn't care about this level of pain anymore. Controlled Unit-02 to get up from the ground again.
Crawled on the ground. Continued charging toward Zeruel.
Would he still appear?
She didn't know.
But whether that idiot appeared or not, she'd prove here—she was the best pilot.
Definitely... would protect this place!
"Get up there!"
Asuka pounced at Zeruel. With mouth. With left arm. With right leg. Tore at its AT Field. Opened a path for Unit-00.
Zeruel's AT Field truly too thick. She could only tear through the thin front layers.
The rest—only Unit-00 could handle.
"Farewell... Shinji-kun."
Rei piloted Unit-00 striding past the AT Field Unit-02 tore open. Reached deep inside. Approached Zeruel. Her gaze held no regret.
The orange unit manifested blinding white light. Shone through armor plate cracks. Body also began expanding within milliseconds.
This instant—
"Don't!"
Shinji Ikari released a hysterical cry.
Him in the abyss—eyes showed a glimmer of light.
"You still want to cause disaster by saving her like before?"
"The price of saving others is more people suffering."
His own voice kept coming. Warning himself of this world's malice.
"No!"
"Even so, I must fight!"
"I promised her. I'd protect her... and guard her dream!"
Shinji clenched his fist. Turned around. Faced countless selves. Eyes continuously showed brilliance.
"And... I also promised that person. I'd defeat my own fate. Become the person I want to be!"
In his mind, that figure always encouraging him became clearer and clearer. The thing called [Self] gradually became independent from memories.
Countless loops. Countless different choices. Countless same endings.
He'd indeed tasted enough of this world's malice toward him.
But this time was different.
Different from any time.
"I met my hope. He won't abandon me. Always... guiding me toward where light exists."
"As long as I wish... I get strong response."
"Yes... I can't give up. What I must do is—release my own voice!"
The sea called memories—no matter how it surged, ultimately couldn't sink this small boat. Because they were just seawater.
Past memories incredibly heavy. But true self—was now.
Past shackles could never bind present self.
"You're all past me. Then... you should understand even more."
"Even given malice by the world countless times, I didn't give up."
"Loop after loop, I'm still searching for methods to solve all this."
"And this time, I don't want to seal my heart behind doors anymore."
"I want to... embrace my light!"
Shinji's gaze incredibly firm. A strand of golden light lit within his chest. Illuminated his face full of determination.
Light filled the abyss. Left darkness nowhere to hide.
All "selves" before him became faint. This meant he broke free from past shackles. They'd ultimately disappear. But before disappearing, their faces all showed smiles.
Because present self could already break the loop. Challenge his own fate.
"As expected, didn't disappoint me!"
"Let's go, Shinji!"
"Yes, Natsuki-san!"
In the light, two figures bumped fists together.
~~~~❃❃~~~~~~~~❃❃~~~~
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