"This generation… they're absolute monsters!"
Might Guy felt a profound, existential inadequacy in the region of his glutes. The specialized, buttock-strengthening training equipment he'd been designing suddenly seemed laughably obsolete.
"I need more funding for R&D!" he muttered, patting his pathetically thin wallet. Life had been hard lately; the Sarutobi clan was hogging all the lucrative C and B-rank missions, forcing even a Jonin like him to take odd jobs like hauling cargo just to make ends meet.
"Curse that greedy Sarutobi clan!" he grumbled internally, conveniently placing all blame on them.
"Raimon-sensei!" Sasuke's voice was intense, burning with a desperate need for validation. "With this technique… can I kill Uchiha Itachi?"
Namikaze Raimon's mouth twitched. The mental image of Sasuke's barbed, piston-action Chidori Sharp Spear finding its mark on a certain prodigal brother's posterior was… creatively brutal.
"Of course it can!" he affirmed. The destructive potential was undeniable. Hitting the elusive, genjutsu-master Itachi with it, however, was an entirely different matter. With Sasuke's current mental fortitude, he'd be trapped in a Tsukuyomi daydream before he could say "revenge."
"Really?!" Hope, fierce and bright, ignited in Sasuke's Sharingan.
"But," Raimon continued, dousing the flame with cold practicality, "can you break his genjutsu? Is your speed enough to land a hit on that spot?"
He saw the fire dim in Sasuke's eyes. "Don't neglect your taijutsu foundation. As for genjutsu… exposure builds immunity. You'll get used to it."
He looked at the boy with a peculiar sense of pride. Sasuke had a real talent for this… unique field. He was cultivation material.
"Uncle! Uncle! My turn! Look at mine!" Not to be outdone, Naruto bounced forward, eager to showcase his own 'innovation.'
"Fūton: Rasen Ōgi – Rasen Uni, Zenhōi Mushi Mashin, Sanzen Giri no Shi!" (Wind Release: Rasengan Secret Technique – Spiral Sea Urchin, Omni-Directional Blind-Spot Assault, Death by Three Thousand Cuts!)
In his palm, a swirling sphere of blue chakra the size of a soccer ball materialized. Then, from its surface, a dozen smaller, rapidly rotating drills sprouted like vicious sea urchin spines.
Raimon stared, speechless. "That's… one hell of a sea urchin."
It was ferocious, yes, but the practical application boggled the mind. The insertion method for something that size and shape… was it meant to be forced? Or did one need to pre-drill a pilot hole?
He concluded only a Tailed Beast's rear end had the real estate to accommodate such a weapon.
"I think… I'll just focus on maximizing my evasion speed," Might Guy mumbled, a cold sweat on his brow. No amount of muscle training could harden flesh against that. His paradigm was shifting: better to befriend the demon than to try and armor against his hellspawn disciples.
"Not bad, not bad!" Raimon patted Naruto's spiky head. "A true scion of the Namikaze spirit!"
"Tch. 'Three Thousand Cuts'?" Sasuke scoffed, a superior smirk on his face. "I only counted a dozen spines. Your naming sense is as bad as your math."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU BASTARD?!" Naruto's face turned red as he shoved his nose against Sasuke's. "I'll show you 'three thousand'!"
He stomped into the center of the field, took a dramatic stance, and mentally shouted, 'Ninetails! Rent's due!'
Inside the seal, the mighty Kyuubi, who had been enjoying a nap, was rudely awakened.
"Annoying gaki…" it grumbled. 'Paying rent' was this brat's code for demanding chakra. Still, it reluctantly parted with a wisp—a mere sneeze's worth for the Bijuu, but a torrent for any normal shinobi. It had no desire to see a truck-sized drill version of that 'sea urchin' pointed its way.
A colossal wave of red-tinged chakra erupted from Naruto, merging with his own immense Uzumaki reserves. The sheer volume made Might Guy's jaw drop and Sasuke's eyes widen. It dwarfed anything they'd ever sensed, even from the Sandaime.
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"
POOMF! POOMF! POOMF! POOMF!—
Three thousand orange-clad Narutos appeared in a series of deafening explosions, covering the field. Then, in perfect unison, three thousand glowing blue 'Rasen Uni' sparked to life in three thousand palms.
"WELL?! IS THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU, SASUKE?!" Three thousand voices roared in deafening stereo.
Inside the seal, the Kyuubi watched the sea of spinning death urchins and felt its fur stand on end. "Nope. Not getting involved. The outside world has officially lost its mind."
It resolved to be a model prisoner from now on. At least Minato had been… straightforward.
"Damn it…" Sasuke muttered, his confidence taking a hit. Even with his new technique, facing this many clones was a nightmare.
"Alright, that's enough! Stand down!" Raimon ordered. He gestured at the pale faces of Might Guy, Sakura, and a watchful Neji Hyuga, all of whom had unconsciously taken a protective step backward, hands drifting behind them. Naruto dispelled the army with a grin, strutting back to Sasuke with his chest puffed out.
Seeing Sasuke's dejected look, Raimon gave his shoulder an encouraging squeeze. "Don't worry. You can do it too."
He then turned to Naruto. "Naruto, be a good senpai. Lend Sasuke some 'fuel.'"
"Leave it to me, Senpai's got you!" Naruto laughed, slinging an arm around a stiff Sasuke. The real power source, of course, was the supremely reluctant Kyuubi, forced into playing mobile power bank for Uchiha brats.
As the massive, foreign chakra flooded his system, Sasuke's eyes blazed with new light. "This power…!"
He thrust out his hand. The Chidori Sharp Spear that erupted was thicker, longer, and more vicious than ever before, its barbs crackling with stolen Kyuubi energy.
"Longer! Grow even LONGER!" Sasuke poured more chakra in. The spear of lightning lanced out a full kilometer, its tip scratching the distant Konoha wall before snapping back. The retracting barbs shredded trees and carved deep gouges in the earth along its path. The image of this thing finding its mark was unspeakably visceral.
"Naruto… from today, you're my aniki!" Sasuke declared, exhilarated by the borrowed, brutal power."HAHAHA! Told you Senpai's reliable!"
The Kyuubi, feeling its chakra being used to power such a blasphemous technique, shuddered in its cage. 'I'm staying in here. Forever. The Namikaze are a plague, and Minato was the only sane one.'
Watching her teammates achieve such terrifying heights, Haruno Sakura stood to the side, feeling utterly hollow. No bloodline, no bijuu, pitiful chakra reserves… what was her role in this team of monsters besides being a liability?
"Alright! That's enough playtime!" Raimon's voice cut through the charged atmosphere. "It's time for Team Seven to embark on a proper mission."
He hadn't forgotten his objective. Through Tsunade and Jiraiya's political maneuvering, a pardon of sorts had been arranged for a certain snake-themed rogue ninja. It was time for a 'friendly' retrieval.
"Uncle! When do we leave? My Sea Urchin is starving for action!" Naruto pumped his fist."Raimon-sensei, my spear thirsts for a worthy target!" Sasuke's eyes gleamed with predatory intent. If they could take down a Legendary Sannin, then Itachi…
Seeing their bloodthirsty enthusiasm, Namikaze Raimon nodded in profound satisfaction. "You've truly internalized my teachings."
He turned his gaze southeast, towards the hidden stronghold in the Land of Rice Fields. A slow, anticipatory smile spread across his face.
"Little snakey… we're coming for you."