The audience went dead silent.
A crater the size of a small lake had replaced the arena floor, black smoke rising like funeral incense.
Only the tiny circle beneath my feet remained untouched, protected by the arena's "Playing Battlefield" rule.
Lord was gone off the arena.
Not dead—probably—just gone.
The absolute defense had held for exactly 0.3 seconds before the carnage catharsis tore through it like wet paper.
What was left of his fancy barrier now floated as glittering dust that slowly rained over the hole.
The referee's mouth opened and closed like a goldfish that had forgotten how to swim.
The princess in the VIP seat stood up so fast her chair toppled backward with a clatter.
Elena's eyes were sparkling with something between terror and pure ecstasy.
I scratched my cheek.
"Oops. Maybe I overdid it a little."
The crowd finally found its voice.
At first it was a low murmur, then a wave, then an explosion.
"D-Did a D-rank just erase a hero in one shot?!" "That spell… I've never even heard of it!" "Who the hell is that masked guy?!"
I waved awkwardly at the stands.
The boos from earlier had completely flipped into cheers.
This was getting out of hand.
From the crater came a pathetic groan.
Lord was somehow still alive, clinging to the edge with one trembling hand.
His beautiful silver hair was charred black, his absolute defense shattered, and his cool pose long forgotten.
His holy sword, supposedly the "Abyssal Black Sword" was stuck halfway out of its sheath, jammed like a cheap prop.
He looked up at me with tears in his eyes.
"P-please… take me as your servant… My King…"
I sighed so hard my mask almost slipped.
"Stop calling me that. And give me the notebook"
He frantically dug through his burned cloak with his free hand and threw the dark history notebook upward.
It spun through the air like a cursed frisbee.
I caught it one-handed and immediately stuffed it into the deepest pocket of my cloak.
Lord tried to climb out, but his strength gave up.
He slipped and fell back into the hole with a sad little scream that echoed for three full seconds.
The referee finally remembered his job and raised a trembling flag.
"W-winner… Magic Bullet Reiji!"
The cheers became a roar.
Confetti exploded from somewhere.
Someone started chanting "King! King! King!" and the whole stadium picked it up.
I wanted to die.
Elena was already vaulting over the VIP railing, her royal dress fluttering like a battle flag.
Her personal knights tried to stop her, but she slipped past them with terrifying speed.
In less than five seconds she was sprinting across the intact circle toward me, eyes shining like a wolf that found fresh meat.
"Jireeeeeeeeei!" she sang in the creepiest, happiest voice possible.
"I knew it was you! That spell! That laziness! That overwhelming power you hide from everyone! Marry me right now!"
I turned and ran.
The crowd parted like I was Moses and they were the Red Sea.
Some tried to grab my cloak for souvenirs.
Others threw flowers. A few brave souls proposed on the spot.
Behind me, Elena was gaining, laughing like a girl who had just won the world.
"Running is useless, my beloved! I'll chase you to the ends of the earth!"
I jumped over the arena wall, landed in the participant corridor, and kept sprinting.
My only thought was simple and pure.
I should never have put so much magic power into that stupid notebook.
Somewhere far behind, Lord's faint voice echoed up from the bottom of the crater.
"My King… I'll find you again… I swear on my useless defense…!"
I ran faster.
The tournament committee was already preparing the prize ceremony, completely unaware that the winner had fled the scene.
Reporters flooded the corridors.
And in the middle of all this chaos, I clutched the recovered dark history notebook to my chest and made a solemn vow.
Next time, I'm burning it with dragon fire.
Then freezing the ashes.
Then throwing them into a volcano.
Then launching the volcano into space.
Because clearly, normal methods aren't enough anymore.
As I vanished into the back streets of the royal capital, Elena's voice still chased me through the evening air.
"Jirei! Wait for me! Tonight we're picking wedding dresses!"
I pulled my hood lower and disappeared into the crowd.
Being a D-rank adventurer was supposed to be peaceful.
Why does this keep happening to me?