The sunlight stabbed through the window like a judgment.
Naruto groaned, face half-buried in his pillow. "Ugh… what time is it?"
He sat up, rubbing his eyes. The clock smirked back at him. Nine o'clock.
For a second, he didn't understand. Then memory clicked. Today was the day—his first day at the Ninja Academy.
"…Ah."
He stared out the window at the morning sun already halfway across the sky.
"Host," a voice rang faintly in his head, melodic yet smug. "Such divine precision. You've transcended punctuality and achieved enlightenment through lateness."
"Shut up," Naruto muttered, kicking off his blanket.
He stumbled toward the mirror, pulling on that hideous orange jumpsuit. The reflection nearly made him flinch."It's ugly. No wonder nobody liked me before."
The jumpsuit hit the floor a second later. He eyed his lean figure in just a black shirt and shorts. "Better. Still kinda thin, though… but hey, at least I look human."
Pocketing a few coins, Naruto grinned. "Ramen first, school later. Priorities."
"Truly, the path of the sage begins with carbohydrates," Rikudō Shingon intoned with faux holiness.
Naruto ignored it and slipped out into the sunlight.
By the time he finally arrived at the academy, the sun was already blazing at a perfect 'you're very late' angle. He scratched his head in front of the classroom door."Guess I'm already doomed, might as well make an entrance."
He pushed it open. "Sorry, I'm late!"
Every head turned. Iruka-sensei looked up from the podium, eyebrows twitching.And of course, Naruto's eyes just had to drift to the girl in the corner — Hinata — who immediately turned crimson and started poking her fingers together like a nervous squirrel.
The rest of the class was already there:Sasuke, cool and brooding in the front row.Ino and Sakura, both hovering near him like rival satellites.Shikamaru asleep, Choji munching chips, Shino silently existing in a corner.
Iruka sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Uzumaki Naruto… late on the first day. Care to explain before I make you stand in the hallway?"
Naruto scratched his cheek, feigning innocence. "See, it's not my fault, Iruka-sensei. It's because of a white-haired uncle…"
Iruka blinked. "A white-haired… uncle."
"Yeah! That guy with the one eye and the dirty books. He said he got lost on the road of life, then ran into a black cat, then had to help an old lady cross the street."
Iruka froze.Only one man in Konoha could make an excuse that specific.
"Kakashi…" he muttered.
"Exactly! I felt bad for him, so I helped. Took care of the cat, helped the grandma, showed him the way of life, all that good stuff."
Iruka's eyebrow twitched. "Even so… Kakashi-senpai wouldn't make you this late."
"Oh, that's not all!" Naruto brightened. "Then I met an old guy wearing a hat with the Fire kanji on it, smoking a pipe, looking all mysterious. Said he lost his crystal ball that he uses to… uh… 'observe people.' So I helped him find that too!"
Iruka's face went pale. "…Lord Hokage?"
"Yup!" Naruto said cheerfully. "So, really, I was helping two important people! You can't punish me for that, right, sensei?"
The classroom was silent. Somewhere, a single cricket considered moving to another village.
"Host," the system murmured with delight, "your gift for divine nonsense surpasses even my expectations."
Iruka sighed in defeat. "...Just take your seat, Naruto."
"Thanks, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto grinned and trotted toward the back, landing right beside Hinata.
"Can I sit here?" he asked, flashing his brightest smile.
"Y-y-yes," Hinata stammered, cheeks pink.
"Thanks. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage!" He paused, glancing at her shy eyes. "Also… the guy who's definitely gonna stand beside you someday."
Hinata's breath caught. "I… I'm Hyūga Hinata. Please take care of me, Naruto-kun."
Naruto leaned back in his chair, feeling ridiculously pleased. "Heh. Today's gonna be a good day."
Up in the Hokage's office, reality disagreed.
Three jōnin and the Third Hokage huddled around a crystal ball, watching Naruto's entire chaotic morning play out in high definition.
Kakashi, still reading his Icha Icha Paradise, didn't even glance up. The corner of his visible eye twitched.
The Hokage sighed, sweat dropping down his temple as Naruto's face filled the orb. "So… he helped us, did he?"
Kakashi turned a page. "Seems the kid's learned my bad habits already."
The old man puffed his pipe, trying not to laugh. "He might just be the Second Kakashi after all."