But where was that old man?In our first meeting—four lives ago—I never even asked his name, nor his purpose.I was too desperate to return.To go back to that world, that life that had known me… and that I had known in return.
So I chose to go back—And I did.
When I opened my eyes, he was there again:An old man sitting on a hill overlooking a dark lake called The Unknown.
It is "unknown" only to us, not to him.
He kept throwing stones into the lake.But they weren't stones—They pulsed, softly, like living hearts.Each one was alive.
He turned to me and asked:"Do you wish for Reincarnation, or for Passage?"
Then he pointed toward a massive gray gate inscribed with glowing words:"Existence or Nothingness."
Without thinking, I answered,"Reincarnation—I want to return."
He studied me with quiet disapproval."But you will not be the same. You'll forget who you were. You'll become someone else. What do you choose?"
"I want to be stronger," I said. "Stronger than before."
"Were you weak then?"
"No… I was great. But greatness wasn't enough to reach what I wanted."
"And what was it that you wanted?"
"To live."
"Then so be it."
He threw one of those beating stones violently into the lake.It vanished with a trembling ripple—And so did he.Or maybe I was the one who vanished.I can't remember.
All I know is: I lived.Then I died.Then I met him again.And again.And now… this is the fourth time.
But he wasn't there this time.
Instead—she was.
A strange, beautiful girl dressed in black.Her eyes were unlike anything human: white, yet with a small star of light glowing at their center, black as the void around it.
Wisdom radiated from her, the kind I never had.
"Where is he?" I asked.
She tilted her head. "Who?"
"The old man… his name…"I stopped. I never asked his name. How careless of me.
She smiled faintly."He stands before you. He is me."
Then she took a living stone, and tossed it into the lake.Ripples of light spread through the darkness, pure and radiant.Through them, I saw—for the first time—the birth of someone.Was it me… being born again?
She spoke softly:"Will you change your mind this time?"
"No," I said. "I still fear death… the silence that follows, the erasure that devours. That's why I choose to return."
"Why so afraid?" she asked. "You fear the passage between being and nothingness, you fear forgetting, you fear ending… but I suspect you also fear living."
"Yes," I admitted. "I am the embodiment of fear—there and here. Maybe I'll find freedom there."
"Foolish girl," she said. "You won't be free until you decide to be."
Then her eyes glimmered with a wicked light."There's a pain you haven't tasted yet… and it's time."
She paused."Well then, what will you choose this time?"
"I chose strength for three lives," I said slowly. "Then foolishly chose weakness for the last… now I'm lost."
"Do you want me to choose for you?" she asked, a mocking smile on her lips.
"Yes," I said, feigning eagerness.
She laughed sharply."Liar. You'd never let me choose for you."
Then, almost tenderly, she added:"My power ends where your choice begins."
"Then," I said, "I choose to be the villain this time… the enemy of the heroine in the novel I once wrote. But on one condition."
Her eyes narrowed."You're in no position to make demands."
But after a pause, she leaned closer."What is your condition?"
"I want to live in the same world I died in."
She smiled—slowly, dangerously."Granted. It will be… entertaining to watch."
I thought she meant she'd enjoy seeing me take revenge on those who wronged me.How foolish of me.
It was a trap.A perfect, merciless trap.