Chapter 53: Kūkaku Shiba
Narrator POV
Just as the group was about to knock on the door, a pair of loud voices echoed from above.
???: "Halt right there!" they shouted in unison.
Two figures appeared on the rooftop of the house, striking theatrical poses as they delivered a warning that looked like it came straight out of a kabuki play.
???: "Who are you people? And what is a Shinigami doing here?" They pointed directly at Ichigo with an accusatory gesture. "You're not welcome here! You'd better—"
Both instantly went silent, as if something in their visual memory suddenly clicked.
???: "Yoruichi-sama! Forgive us! We didn't recognize you!"
Akira narrowed his eyes and tilted his head as he got a better look at them.
"...I'm seeing double," he commented, noticing the two identical men. "Is that normal around here?"
The twin guards, Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko, hurried down from the roof, bowing dramatically before Yoruichi.
"Ah, Koganehiko, Shiroganehiko. We're here to see Kūka ku. Is she home?"
"Of course she is, Yoruichi-sama! Lady Kūkaku is home right now!" Koganehiko replied with exaggerated enthusiasm as he quickly bowed and opened the huge wooden gate with both hands.
Chad scanned the scene with his usual calm but observant gaze.
"Looks like Yoruichi is more important than she lets on..." he muttered quietly as they walked in.
Akira, unable to resist teasing her, smiled with that familiar, quiet mockery.
"Maybe she's Kūkaku's pet," he said casually—as if it were nothing—though he clearly meant to provoke her.
Yoruichi spun around instantly, eyes narrowed and ears twitching in annoyance, glaring at him with an expression that could have killed a hollow on the spot.
"How dare you! How can you call Yoruichi-sama a 'pet'?!"
Both twins jumped at Akira, but without even changing his expression—or bothering to dodge—he simply raised his arms and delivered two quick, sharp chops to their heads. They dropped to the ground like sacks of rice.
Uryū, apparently having learned absolutely nothing from the previous scene, adjusted his glasses thoughtfully.
"Technically… it's not an inaccurate comparison. Noble families' pets often outrank common servants. It's quite logical in a hierarchical sense."
A black shadow flew toward his face.
SMAACK!
A clean paw swipe from Yoruichi left a red mark across his cheek.
"Don't you dare continue that line of thought! I'm no one's pet. Kūkaku is a friend, is that clear? Now move! Stop fooling around!"
She turned around indignantly, tail raised, walking into the house with firm, angry steps—though a bead of embarrassment could be seen running down her forehead.
Koganehiko, scratching his head as he guided them, muttered, "We didn't know Yoruichi-sama had new servants..."
Walking behind him, Akira rolled his eyes.
"Servants my ass..." he muttered with a half-smile. "I only follow orders from myself... (and from the System)," he added inwardly, feeling the familiar vibration of the interface inside his mind—almost like the System had chuckled.
Eventually, they arrived before a large wooden sliding door. The home, with its traditional Japanese architecture, exuded an aura both quiet and energetic—like someone with an explosive personality lived there.
Before they could step forward, the twins positioned themselves on each side of the door.
Koganehiko / Shiroganehiko: "Lady Kūkaku! You have visitors! If you don't mind, we'll let them in!" they shouted in perfect harmony, as if they'd rehearsed the line for years.
Without waiting for a reply, they forcefully opened the sliding doors—revealing the figure inside.
There, lounging with an almost bored demeanor, sat Kūkaku Shiba.
Her mere presence caused Ichigo and Uryū to freeze in shock, eyes wide open as if they'd just seen a ghost wearing summer clothes.
Before them was a youthful-looking woman of average height, radiating a fierce and defiant aura. Her long black hair, messy and split into two ponytails wrapped partly in bandages, fell across her back. Her green eyes gleamed with mischief and confidence.
She wore a white skirt, wooden sandals, and a red low-cut top that revealed a generous amount of cleavage with zero shame. Her left arm—her only arm—displayed a dark tribal tattoo, while her right shoulder was wrapped in bandages, openly showing the absence of the limb. A cape drifted lightly behind her.
She held a smoking pipe between her fingers, a thin ribbon of smoke rising from it.
"Long time no see, Yoruichi," she said with a half-smile, eyes narrowing as she exhaled a cloud of smoke.
"W-w-what...? Kūkaku is a woman?!" Ichigo blurted out, completely stunned.
Not the most mature reaction—but considering the name, which didn't help in guessing any gender, Ichigo had expected maybe a grumpy monk… not a bold, provocative, intimidating woman.
Uryū quickly turned his head away, visibly uncomfortable with her revealing outfit.
"This is… not what I imagined..." he whispered, adjusting his glasses nervously, trying not to look again.
"Oh… I was expecting the wise old samurai cat…" Orihime admitted, a bit disappointed—remembering the mental picture her imagination had conjured. "But this is great too! She's really pretty!" she added brightly, trying not to sound rude.
Akira maintained a calm, serene expression… at least on the outside. Inside, though, his mind was screaming something entirely different.
(Holy hell… those boobs won't stop staring at me…) he thought as he subtly diverted his gaze. He had fought demons and monsters, but Kūkaku Shiba's cleavage was an entirely different kind of enemy.
Kūkaku, noticing the whispers and gazes, raised an eyebrow and slowly removed the pipe from her lips. Her stare was direct and unfiltered.
"And who are these kids?" she asked with bored curiosity, looking them over as if evaluating livestock.
"Well… I'm here because I need a favor," Yoruichi replied with a more serious tone, showing that the matter was important.
"You always come here asking for favors." Kūkaku smirked, her eyes gleaming with playful interest. "Is there trouble? Because I love trouble."
"A troublesome woman…" Akira muttered, narrowing his eyes and looking at Yoruichi skeptically. "Are you sure asking her for help is a good idea?"
"Do you have a problem with me liking trouble?" Kūkaku asked—not changing her tone, but her stare clearly dripping with a disguised threat.
"None," Akira replied immediately, maintaining his composure. He knew this type of woman well—the kind who smiles right before beating you senseless. And he had no doubt Kūkaku would punch him without a second thought if provoked.
"That's better." She exhaled another cloud of smoke and focused back on Yoruichi. "Alright, tell me what you need."
.
.
.
Kūkaku released a long breath of smoke as her gaze sharpened with a hint of suspicion.
"I see… so that's what happened," she murmured after hearing Yoruichi's explanation. Then her eyes shifted toward Akira, examining him carefully. "Hmm… not bad," she said with a smirk. "But I still find it hard to believe you actually stood up to a Captain."
Although her words carried disbelief, there was something in her tone—as if deep down she found it plausible. Akira's energy didn't resemble that of a normal boy, and she certainly knew it.
"Alright. I trust you, Yoruichi… and a little bit, the kid Akira." She blew smoke from her lips, then glanced without restraint at the rest of the group. "But those ones? No." She pointed at Ichigo, Uryū, Orihime and Chad. "So I'll assign one of my men to watch you. Any objections?"
"None. You may send someone with us," Yoruichi said calmly.
Ichigo raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms with suspicion. "One of your men?" he echoed, unimpressed.
"Yes, he's actually my younger brother," Kūkaku said casually as she stood and walked toward a side door. "He's an idiot, but I trust him enough to handle this operation." She grabbed the handle. "Hey! You better be ready! And behave!"
With a firm motion, she slid the door open. Behind it stood a flamboyant-looking young man, with a huge scarf, dark shades, and an overly dramatic presence.
"Nice to meet ya! My name is Ganju Shiba! It's a pleasure to work with you!" Ganju announced cheerfully, raising a hand in greeting.
A heavy silence fell.
Everyone froze… until Ichigo's eye twitched violently. He recognized him immediately.
"YOUUUU!!" Ichigo shouted, pointing at Ganju with sheer rage on his face.
Ganju pointed back just as fast. "YOU AGAIN?!"
Kūkaku blinked once, then raised an eyebrow.
"You two know each other?"
---
End of the chapter.