Chapter 30 Disaster on Horseback and the Heartbroken Fat Merchant
On the open ground of the temple square, the originally solemn "departure ceremony" had now completely degenerated into a horrific circus performance.
"Weight! How many times have I told you! Shift your weight! Squeeze your thighs together!"
Kro's usually cold and expressionless face was now flushed red with blood. He brandished his riding crop and roared at "What Canned Food I Said," which was writhing like a maggot on horseback:
"What are you doing? Are you dancing? This is a warhorse, not the rocking chair under your butt!"
"I want to grip tighter too!" Canned Food was sweating profusely, his shoes almost falling off from the jostling, his hands gripping the horse's mane tightly. "But this beast's back is so slippery! And it keeps shaking! Is this because my 'Dark Arcane' magnetic field is repelling it?"
"Reject you my foot!" Crowe was so angry he almost drew his sword. "It's disgusted with you! Sit up straight!"
On the other hand, the situation of "I am not a husky" is even more dangerous.
As a player who chose the [Stalker] path and possesses physical agility far exceeding that of ordinary people, Husky was not as clumsy as Canned Food, but he went to the other extreme—his movements were too large.
"Hey! Watch this! Superhero-style mounting!"
The husky took a few steps back, took a running start, and with its amazing jumping power, it leaped into the air like a spring.
"Whoosh—"
He jumped too high.
He leaped over the horse's back, tracing a graceful parabola in the air, before crashing face-first onto the other side of the horse in a classic "dog-face-shit" pose.
"Bang!"
The black horse was startled, turned around and looked at the husky convulsing on the ground with the eyes of someone looking at an idiot, even snorted in disgust and took two steps to the side.
"Oops...mistake..." The husky lay on the ground, bravely raising one paw. "That didn't count, it was probably a server latency issue..."
As for the "Wolf of Wall Street," he chose a more "capitalist" approach.
He was holding a piece of black bread he had stolen from the canteen, and carefully brought it to the horse's mouth, trying to have a "friendly negotiation" with the tall beast.
"Be good, let me ride it for a bit, and this loaf of bread is yours." The Wolf of Wall Street had a fawning smile on his face. "We're all just trying to make a living, so give me some face. This is a premium acquisition..."
"Hiss!"
The dark horse clearly wasn't buying it. Not only did it not eat the bread, but it also tossed its head and almost knocked the Wolf of Wall Street over.
...
If you ignore their indomitable tenacity and just look at this comical scene, who would believe that these three guys were the "elites" who had just wiped out the kobold outpost?
At the edge of the square, Rolf, the president of the Golden Harvest Merchant Guild, was clutching his chest with both hands, his fat face contorted in pain, as if every time a player fell, it was a blow to his heart.
"Ouch! Be gentle! Be gentle!"
Seeing the husky try to pull the horse's tail to mount it again, Rolf stamped his feet in heartache and cried out in a voice trembling with tears:
"Those are purebred Northern Blackwind Horses! Each one is worth fifty gold coins! My esteemed chosen ones, those are horses, not wooden stakes! Don't pull their manes! You're lowering their value! You're lowering their value!"
He turned to look at "Dangdangdangxinzhigang," who was also watching nearby, trying to find some common ground: "Gangzi-sama, aren't you going to try and stop them? If this keeps going on, these horses will be ruined before they even get out of the forest..."
Gangzi, who was carrying an axe and watching the show while eating a raw radish, chuckled upon hearing this:
"Don't worry, Fatty, this is called 'getting used to each other.' We have an old saying where I'm from, 'Man and horse become one.' How can you build a bond without going through some roughhousing?"
"But…" Rolf looked at the black horse, its legs clamped tightly around the belly of the canned food, its eyes rolling back and foaming at the mouth, tears welling up in his eyes. "This isn't fostering affection, this is murder…"
...
However, this seemingly endless farce did not last long.
After all, these guys are no longer the "ordinary people" who just entered the game.
After the initial disarray, the extraordinary attribute of level 5 began to take effect.
The next morning, which was just one night later.
When Crowe returned to the square, he was surprised to find that the three men were now able to sit steadily on horseback and walk slowly.
It wasn't because they had mastered any advanced riding skills; it was simply because—their strength and reflexes were too great.
Want to throw a person off a horse? Sorry, the canned food's legs clamp down on the horse's belly like iron clamps, and it won't budge no matter how much the horse shakes it; the husky's sense of balance is even more of a bug, its body seems glued to the horse's back as it drifts with the current.
On the third day, the style of the story suddenly changed.
"drive!!"
Dust filled the temple square.
The three of them had already started galloping on horseback, and were even able to perform several difficult maneuvers on horseback.
"That's the beauty of numbers!" the husky laughed on the galloping horse. "As long as your agility is high enough, you don't need any skills at all. I can just use muscle memory to control it!"
As Crowe watched this scene, his initial rage turned into silence, and finally, a deep sigh escaped his lips.
"A bunch of monsters..."
Kro shook his head. "Although the posture is ugly, like a monkey riding a dog, and has no knightly grace whatsoever... I have to admit that this learning speed, achieved by sheer physical ability, is simply outrageous."
...
On the morning of the fourth day.
The fog still shrouded the forest, but it was thinner than usual.
At the temple's main entrance, the three players had changed into grey linen robes provided by Kro. This unassuming attire concealed their leather armor and weapons, making them appear like three ordinary travelers or followers.
Only the [Evil God's Heart-Protecting Mirror] hidden close to his chest was slightly warm; it was the only link that kept him connected to the Lord.
Are you ready?
Kro mounted his horse with the same graceful and swift movements. He turned to look at the three of them, his eyes stern. "Once we leave this forest, there will be no more protection from the divine realm."
"Don't worry, housekeeper."
Although Guan Tou's posture as he climbed onto the horse was still not exactly elegant, once he was settled and his back was straight, he had already mastered the art of demeanor. "We are the most professional actors. As long as I don't speak, no one can tell that I am a sorcerer."
"That's right!" The husky jumped up as well, this time with perfect precision. "Besides, we brought plenty of money this time. If all else fails, we can just pay our way through!"
The Wolf of Wall Street patted the bag on his saddle, which contained several carefully packaged samples of "Slime Magic Lamps," his stepping stone to make inroads in White Rock City.
"Set off."
Kro stopped talking nonsense and gave the reins a jerk.
"Hissing sound—"
Four swift horses galloped out of the temple square, their hooves clattering sharply in the morning stillness.
Rolf stood at the doorway, watching the departing figure disappear into the distance, a tattered cloth clutched in his hand (used to wipe his tears), muttering to himself, "I must bring the horse back...it's my lifeline..."
Gangzi and the other players who came to see them off stood on the city wall, waving their weapons.
"Brothers! Let's make the most of the new map!"
"Don't forget to open a teleportation point for us!"
"We need to seduce all the rich women from White Rock City!"
On the high platform.
Deep within the temple, Li Wei did not appear. He simply sat quietly on his throne, his gaze piercing through the thick fog, watching the four "signal sources" rapidly receding into the distance.
That was the first seed he sowed.
Will it grow into a towering tree, or will it ignite a prairie fire of war?
A playful smile curved at the corners of Li Wei's lips.
"Go, bring chaos and change... to that corrupt world."
The sound of horses' hooves gradually faded into the distance, eventually disappearing into the vast gray fog.
The first expedition to the land of the forsaken gods (although only three people were sent) officially began