"Not now." Aiko pushed her nose further into her pillow and tightened her grip around Mitsuo with her right arm. Funny. He was shaped differently than she remembered—less round. And significantly less furry than usual.
Blearily, she raised her head just enough to see dark hair and remind herself that she hadn't fallen asleep snuggling her dog.
"Oh. Good morning, Sai."
Her fingers had been outside the blanket and were cold, so she wiggled them under the covers to flatten against his abs. Sai was too disciplined to jolt or complain about being used for his hot body, so she didn't feel guilty at all.
"May I be released?" Sai sounded surprisingly detached and polite for someone being treated like the world's tallest teddy bear. "I am under orders to report to the Hokage's office for an assignment."
Aiko frowned at that, trying to remember if she was meant to report. She couldn't think of any call… so that meant he was going on a mission without her. Unusual. "What time?"
He seemed to be attempting to check the time through the mostly covered window. "In twenty minutes, I believe."
She paused. "Are you already packed for your mission?"
"Yes, but the equipment is at my residence."
Ten more ninja points to Sai. God, he was good at this game, wasn't he? He should have been a boy scout. He and Yamato could flit about and be impossibly anal and good-natured, saving puppies from trees and carrying old ladies' groceries.
'Maybe I'm a little tireder than I thought. Something was definitely wrong with that phrase.'
"Aiko?"
"If you think you're escaping without a good morning kiss, you are severely mistaken." Jokingly, she pressed a kiss against the back of his neck and nuzzled him.
Sai gave a good natured sigh and twisted around to give her a flat look.
She giggled and released him. "Alright, alright. You know you're going to be late anyways. Just tell the Hokage you're sorry."
~~~
"I apologize for my tardiness, Hokage-sama." The little twerp gave her one of those patently false grins. The knuckles in Sasuke's hand creaked ominously when he unconsciously formed a fist. "I was detained by a fair maiden."
"My god, it's catching," Shizune breathed lowly, eyes wide with horrified fascination.
Naruto was practically vibrating with rage. "Not you too," he growled, grabbing Sai's collar and yanking on it. Sai merely blinked at him.
"My apologies. I-"
'This has gone on long enough.'
"I don't want any of your excuses," Tsunade interrupted. For the first time, she genuinely rued handing the boy over to Hatake's team. What the hell was it about that man that inspired devotion and imitation?
She tabled the thought for later.
~~~
"And Mr. Ukki needs to be watered every other day, but the begonias can go a week without. They like to be rotated every other day, though, so that they get sunshine everywhere."
Aiko nodded along and tried to look attentive, even as Naruto detailed how often his mail needed to be picked up to prevent the post office from sending him nasty missives about his full box. Every other day, apparently. He wrote a lot of letters.
"Look, how long are you guys really expecting to be gone?" She raised an eyebrow inquisitively, but Naruto didn't get the hint.
"I have no idea!" He chirped cheerfully, flashing a toothy grin. "But I bet it's going to be awesome! I told you we were working with Asuma's team, right? He's a wind type too and he agreed to give me some pointers." He gave a fist-pump. "I'm going to get that wind-natured Rasengan."
'Well, whatever works.'
She wasn't particularly broken up about not being brought along on this mission in specific, though the timing stank. Yamato and Sai could take care of the boys, even if team Ten wasn't there to pick up the slack. How much trouble could they really get into in a temple, for kami's sake?
"You do that." Absentmindedly, she tousled his hair (and was a bit miffed that she had to reach so far up to do it. If he didn't stop growing she was going to put bricks on his head to stop that shit herself) and grinned at the indignant yowl the action drew out.
"Cut that out, Nee-chan," Naruto whined, ruffling his hair back up into the ragtag arrangement of spikes that he seemed to favor. Personally, it looked utterly without law or order to her, but it wasn't her hair. He gave her a surprisingly stern look. "If you ever want to be awesome like me, you'll have to at least get the original Rasengan down, or you'll never catch up before I make it even better. Even the pervy sage has the first level."
"Yeah, yeah," Aiko muttered resentfully, pursing her lips and looking away.
'Even the pervy sage? He has a twisted way of gauging competency. Proficiency with the Rasengan is hardly the only measure of strength.'
"I mean it." He slung an arm over her shoulders and steered her out of the post office, his free hand gesturing animatedly even though it was full of envelopes. "You can't give up just because the second part is harder! Even though that's so weird, because once I had the first part down, the second really wasn't that big of a deal and I don't understand why you're having so much trouble-"
"Okay, okay," she interrupted. "Feel free to stop insulting me at any time."
She probably did know why she had gotten stuck on that stupid purple rubber ball she was beginning to hate. This was hardly her first rodeo in regards to free-form movement of water: so as soon as she'd gotten past the barriers of problems created by maintaining multiple currents without letting them bleed into one another, the water balloon had been easy enough to burst. Cockily, she had thought that the second practice aid would be similarly easy, assuming that she was just that good.
Apparently, air currents were very different to manipulate. Moving air in general was hard. Grasping the damn particles was a massive pain, and forcing them to move according to her will sucked. She could make one current, but as soon as she tried to maintain more than that everything fell apart. Using air as a medium wasn't as intuitive as using water as a medium.
Hopefully she wouldn't have such a hard time when it came to using raw chakra and no medium, even if it apparently handled more like air than like water.
As soon as Naruto had gone, she flitted off to run through her self-assigned route. She'd had it on her mind throughout their conversation: apparently, she had been sleeping too deeply to wake up at her alarm, and her brother had come to find her immediately after his briefing to ask her to take care of the house while he was gone. So she had been almost two hours late to run her circuit.
'It was dumb to stress. Nothing happened, of course.'
Konoha's northern forests were just as peaceful and free of enemy nin as they could generally be expected to be.
Of course, that left her not knowing what to do with herself. It was bizarre to be stuck in Konoha when almost everyone she spent time with was out on a mission or working. Karin was in the hospital, Ino and Hinata were probably training, and Anko was nowhere to be found. 'I suppose I could hunt down Kakashi and see if he wants to eat ice cream and talk about boys.'
Involuntarily, she snorted. Probably not, though it was incredibly poor timing for every girl she was remotely close to to be out of town. She'd have to wait for Karin to get back in from wherever she was. Well. She supposed she could talk to Anko, but that was bound to end in tears and humiliation. The older girl was hilarious, but maybe not the person she wanted to gossip about her first sexual experience with. Ino or Karin would find it much easier to relate to her current experiences on the same level, and Anko wasn't maternal enough to be able to empathize with her throughout the barrier of their lack of shared experiences.
'So instead of anything remotely enjoyable and useful, I will instead go to that awful meeting.'
She slumped, not caring that she was walking down one of the main streets and she probably looked like a lunatic about to break out into tears. It had been outright cruel of Tsunade to keep from assigning her to a mission just so that she was in town for one of those council meetings, even if it had been couched as a favor. She'd never thought she'd end up with the inverse of a sinecure. It was thankless and idiotic and took up far too much time.
Aiko probably spent far too much time moping over the fact that she had to go to that stupid meeting. That meant she had to rush through preparations to be fit for public. She had replaced the first mesh bodysuit with one that followed more closely to the design of a swimsuit than the weird things with half-legs and half-sleeves, and preferred it immensely. It didn't weigh down her limbs but still provided protection to the majority of her vital points. The only weapon weighing her down was the single Hiraishin kunai she carried strapped to the underside of her right arm. It did mean that she had to be careful with how she held her arm to keep it from showing, but it was better than going totally without conventional weapons. She was never unarmed by any means, but sometimes steel could do what fists, seals, or ninjutsu just couldn't. As had become tradition, she slipped on a kimono (orange this time) and the blue butterfly pin before she hurried out the door at the most dignified trot she could manage.
She spoke her piece early: advocating for a re-design of the genin corps, and then sat while the other suggestions were volleyed. Some of them seemed to completely miss the point to her. What good would encouraging more shinobi to settle down to reproduce early do? Trying to persuade more civilians to send their children to the Academy was a little closer, but still wouldn't get at the real problems.
On the bright side, there did seem to be a chance that she could make a positive change in Konoha through her assignment. By whose standards that chance might be positive varied, however. Probably not by those of the grumpy old men and women who were her peers in the Council.
At this point she wouldn't deny that the large council had been right to notice that the current graduation rates weren't putting the village on track to regain full military strength. They had been experiencing a time of comparative peace for long enough that they really should have been in the full bloom of power for the last couple of years. But they weren't. Konoha was hardly about to lose their position as one of the five strongest villages, but their large numbers and economic prosperity hadn't lead to a proportional increase in sheer power.
Sarutobi hadn't been an incompetent peacetime leader, though he had been better in a time of war. (As far as she could tell, he had been better at warfare but preferred a soft touch). He had altered the graduation and academy requirements after political affairs had settled down between the time of Uchiha Itachi's enrollment and her own. In wartime, the philosophy had been to churn out as many moderately competent soldiers as possible as quickly as possible, which made it easier for children who had already been trained by family members to meet minimum requirements and test out of the system.
That system had many drawbacks, but the one that mattered to the Council was that it was a short-term stopgap measure. Those unprepared soldiers (who had less mental conditioning, less maturity, less everything that mattered) burnt out faster than their counterparts, cracked under stress and were unable to acclimate to other conditions, or got killed and were totally lost as resources.
Those truths were the ones Sarutobi had used to alter the Academy curriculum and requirements. It became much more difficult to graduate after that, and she didn't see a single example of a student who spent less than four years in the Academy in the last ten years. It was a stark change from the prior situation, and one that she could appreciate.
But it wasn't perfect either. Though even the dead-last by the new graduation standards was ahead of the curve for the old requirements, the few elites that the system hoped to nurture had a lot riding on their frail shoulders. The third Hokage must have been a big believer in the master-apprentice relationship at that point in his life, because it was clearly where he had drawn inspiration. Much in the manner that he had been taught by the second Hokage and he had hoped to teach the fourth, the aim was to give Konoha a backbone of A and S-class warriors that would outnumber the high-ranked analogues in other countries through close personal attention to their most promising canditates.
Of course, in pursuit of that aim, they had sacrificed the large proportion of respectably B-classed shinobi that formed the meat of the forces in places like Cloud and Stone and had to make do with masses of largely self-taught C classed shinobi who struggled up to Chuunin from the genin corps instead.
The genin corps as a concept wasn't unique to Konoha, and nor was the fact that those within it were encouraged to become relatively low level jacks of all trades as opposed to specializing. A genin corps member with the talent to succeed in that type of competency could pick a specialty after becoming a Chuunin and make special Jounin, but that was about the pinnacle of what someone who wasn't picked to apprentice could expect to achieve.
To her eye, the obvious solution to their low numbers of high level fighters lay in the way that they thought about the genin corps. She did understand that not every child had the raw natural ability of a future elite, and that it wasn't necessary to push them that way – or even intelligent to think that it would be advisable to try to make everyone perform to such high standards. Someone had to perform the bulk of the low-risk and glory-less missions that paid the bills, of course. For most Konoha shinobi, D and C class drudgery was the characteristic common denominator of their lifetime of servitude to the village and not an episode that was short and quickly forgotten when they moved up in the ranks.
But the reliable drones who kept the village buzzing with prosperity in times of lazy peace became a liability in more dangerous times. They were vulnerable to strike teams from the enemies' higher-ranked and more specialized shinobi. Having higher quality shinobi in fewer numbers was a great strategy for assaults but a shitty one for defense. So Tsunade would have to compensate by increasing the numbers of lower ranked shinobi on any specific mission. Once their numbers started to thin from casualties… they would be on the defensive.
'Actually, she's probably reinforcing all the border outpost guards now.'
It would have taken a few days to rearrange all active assignments, and Cloud's jinchuuriki had only been killed less than a week ago. It would take a full day at the very least for genin and Chuunin teams to make their way to the border outposts. More than that, if they were doing sweeps on their way out, which they just about had to be.
Any half-decent strategist would know that. If she were in charge of Cloud's forces, she would have gone with a strike force deployed as soon as they'd decided to blame Konoha to hopefully get in before fortifications could be flawlessly tightened—she would aim take out a few high value targets to put Konoha on the defensive, sow panic and confusion. That type of strike could make it possible to wring concessions and force Konoha to back down.
But that was a personal preference. Others might not see the value in anything less than peace or total annihilation. It was admittedly risky to allow your enemies to hold some of their own strength. Not that there weren't dangers in going for 'mercy' and being internationally perceived as weak. Lightning might actually have to challenge Konoha to keep their status. If that was their motivation, then a war in name would suffice. If this really was a vendetta fueled by the Raikage's sense of loss, however… He would only be satisfied with blood and ash.
Time would tell. But probably not much time.
She must have spoken relatively well, because her suggestion wasn't tossed out. It wasn't adopted either, but that didn't seem to be the way things were done in bureaucracy. Yet another session and smaller committee would be dedicated to investigating the support and logistics available for three of the possibilities mentioned in today's meeting, hers among them.
Konoha was struggling under the weight of its own bloated government, in some ways. But at least those structures could be manipulated into the occasional bout of usefulness.
Still dressed up like a porcelain doll and not particularly unhappy about it now that it wasn't a novelty, Aiko wandered out from the council hall en route for dinner. There wasn't enough time for her to bother getting groceries for dinner before she went out to check the forest in her self-imposed patrol that even she was beginning to feel serious about.
"Uzumaki-chan?"
The unusual address and a voice she hardly ever heard caught her attention. Kurenai was giving her a polite wave from inside the restaurant Aiko had just wandered into, sitting with a blue-haired woman she didn't recognize.
"Kurenai-senpai," she greeted politely, gracing the older girl with an incline of her neck. The hastily-chosen title was a formality to be polite and not because she had actually worked with Kurenai enough to see her as a mentor figure.
Kurenai seemed to note the same truth with a bit of amusement. "I don't think there's any call for that. We hold the same rank, after all."
There was something dry but not exactly displeased about the way she said that. Bitterness wouldn't have been entirely unjustified, considering she was probably hyper aware that Aiko's promotion had come almost shockingly early in her career. Sure, she was older than Kakashi or Itachi had been when they hit Jounin, but the 'average' Jounin could hardly be compared to people like that. And there was probably more than a fair share of bitterness aimed at those extraordinary types, if one was to be honest.
So she didn't protest, and gave Kurenai a self-effacing smile that was intended to communicate that she wasn't the egotist that many would expect from someone who had shot up in the ranks. "Kurenai-san, then?" At the amused look on the brunette's face, she blinked innocently and modified the question to a saccharine, "Kurenai-neechan?"
"That'll do. Would you sit with us? This is a friend of mine, Otohime. Otohime, this is Uzumaki Aiko."
"Otohime-san," Aiko nodded politely, and took a free chair without letting onto her confusion at the invitation. Was Kurenai just curious and friendly, or was there a specific reason?
Looking at her dinner companions didn't seem to answer that question. Otohime was pretty as a picture, and almost impossibly delicate for a shinobi. The conversation that followed indicated that delicacy was because she was in fact a civilian who Kurenai had been friends with since childhood.
The other two had already ordered, but the waitress that came around didn't mind having their meals delayed until Aiko's was ready as well.
"So." Otohime blinked golden eyes at Aiko, seeming to see right through to her soul. "You're really a kunoichi, then? Aiko-chan, you're so little!" She reached across the table and grabbed her hand. Aiko was momentarily stunned by the other woman's forwardness and didn't respond before Kurenai chuckled.
"Don't be alarmed, but if you're not careful, she'll talk you into resigning and sign you up to work for her."
Otohime's grip tightened around Aiko's hand, and she gave a faux-stern pout at her taller friend. "What she means is that I recruit dancers, but she makes me sound like a yakuza. Kurenai-chan, why are you so unkind to me?"
Uncertainly, she pulled her hand out of Otohime's soft, perfumed grip and tucked it onto her lap. "Ah, flattering, Otohime-san, but I'm afraid I have no natural ability."
The look she received was absolutely scathing. "If you can learn taijutsu, you can learn traditional dance."
"No, I keep telling you that you'll be surprised," Kurenai interrupted fondly, leaning on a hand. "There's a big difference between learning to perform the dance of death and the less…" she cleared her throat and shrugged. "Well, you know what I mean. Besides, I think Aiko-chan's current career is going relatively well. I feel like I know you much better than I do because I hear about you every so often. Hatake is insufferably proud of you, I hope you know."
Embarrassment warmed her cheeks, but she couldn't imagine him ever saying anything like that. Maybe he would say something to her if she needed encouragement, but he wasn't the type to brag.
Kurenai must have read the question in her expression, because she easily answered it. "Of course he's proud, everyone wants to see their students end up doing well. He's not a man who shares those feelings openly, of course, but whenever Asuma has to whine about Shikamaru-kun being uncooperative he's always just a little too hasty to muse that he never had those sorts of problems."
"He is kind of a jackass," Aiko admitted frankly, forcing the smile off her face. An attractive, intelligent, and ultimately well-meaning jackass, but a jackass nonetheless. She actually liked that about him. Difficult, cantankerous people were fabulous, and his bitch-fu was among the best when he cared to drag his nose out a book to deliver scathing commentary.
Apparently the other two women hadn't been expecting that bit of bluntness. Kurenai twitched, but Otohime tossed her head back and laughed. "I've not met the man, but that's an amusing character description when juxtaposed with how fond you seem. Perhaps you should introduce me?"
"I like you far too much for that," Kurenai deflected dryly, before seeming to remember that Aiko was there. "No offence meant, of course!" She waved cutely to deflect a sense of hostility.
Aiko shrugged, forgetting how ungainly the motion would be in formal dress. "None taken. He can be difficult to deal with outside of professional settings." She stopped and added, "And in them, I suppose."
Conversation changed after their food arrived, leaving talk of shinobi that Otohime was unfamiliar with behind in favor of the food, weather, and the most recent princess Fuin movie. The focus on anything but the depressing political climate was almost too pointed.
"It was very nice to meet you, Otohime-san." She genuinely smiled at her two dinner companions when they parted at the door. "And talking with you was fun as well, Kurenai-neechan. Thank you for the dinner invitation, this was much better than eating alone."
"It was no trouble on my part," Kurenai assured her, buttoning the jacket she had brought to contend with the night air. "I miss a large dinner party when Asuma's team is out of town."
"Oh, that's right." Aiko put a finger to her lips in mock thought, itching to confirm a theory. "You two are a couple, yes?"
Kurenai looked like she'd been slapped with a fish. "O-of cour- Where did you hear that?" she rapidly changed tracks, fighting off a blush and giving an ineffectual glare to Otohime, who was engaging in the least graceful hyena cackles Aiko had ever heard.
"From you," she confirmed blandly. "Before now, it was just a pet theory. I hope to see you again!" Aiko whipped around and set off for home without letting Kurenai recover from her embarrassment, in large part because she liked having the last word. Of course, the setting sun was a reminder…
'It's time that I go check on those seals again.'
Really, she was starting to feel spectacularly silly about it. It was possible that her fear of Danzo was outweighing her good sense and that she was engaging in a futile exercise.
At war with herself, she wandered to the outskirts of town and took a deep breath of the heady air. Eventually, she decided, 'It can't be embarrassing if no one else knows about how silly I'm being. If I don't do it, it'll bother me all night and I won't be able to sleep. For my own peace of mind, if nothing else, I can go check one more time tonight.'
She seriously considered going home first and changing. But it would be a waste of time. She would just have to change into bedclothes as soon as she came back again, and changing twice would be stupid. Of course, she could just change directly into bedclothes, but getting seen wandering the woods in a kimono would still be less embarrassing than the same in her pajamas. It would just be a quick trip.
Flicker. Flicker. Flicker. Seal after seal, working from the village to the borders, showed nothing out of the ordinary. Until they did, and she was blinking at a rush of color to her left. Reflexively, she leapt and turned—which saved her life.
She didn't take much time to gape at the three blades quivering in a tree-trunk several inches from her torso.
'Well, shit. I think I can't count on the element of surprise.'
"Where the hell did she come from?" a practically dressed blonde woman seemed to ask her group at large. And it was a rather large group, considering that she was one girl. Two full squads… eight enemy shinobi. Well within the limits of Konoha's territory… Had they really all managed to creep past a patrolled border, or did this mean that a larger force had actually taken an outpost?
Unsettling thoughts to be investigated later, she supposed.
"Ah, hello adorable Cloud shinobi!" Aiko greeted cheerily with a very Kakashi-esque wave. "I didn't expect to see you here." Aiko tilted her head and blinked cutely, letting the loose bits of her hair move over her shoulders.
A dark-haired man twitched.
Confusing the hell out of them might work just as well as surprise. She probably looked quite the picture—unarmed as far as the eye could see, suddenly appearing in their midst in a full kimono with her headband tucked around her blue and red obi. Thankfully, her kimono was only secured tightly at the waist and allowed her a lot more range of movement than it appeared to. If she had to do anything especially acrobatic like high-kicks she might be indecent, but that was a lesser evil compared to dead.
'Strangely, I really like the theatricality of this. There are shinobi who wear kimono in the field. I do like pretty things, and these sleeves are great for hiding things… Maybe I should give the wardrobe change a try.'
Unfortunately, no matter how weird she chose to act, they weren't all off balance enough to fail to recognize that she was a possible threat. "Sorry little girl." She didn't recognize the pale man who moved into a defensive posture, but he was a total fox, with incongruously dark eyes and slightly mussed sandy hair. "We can't allow Konoha dogs to live."
Suddenly, she hated him. He needed to be taken down a peg or two. Sure, Konoha sort of sucked, but Naruto wasn't going to settle for being Kage of just any shithole. And besides…
"What's so wrong with dogs?" Aiko grasped three Hiraishin seals and blurred into motion, dropping directly behind him and yanking his headband off with brutal force that snapped his head backwards and took to the trees in the next motion. Even as she did it, she darkened her chakra signature and went absolutely silent, crouched in the treetop above-head to give herself a moment to think as she slipped the stolen headband under her sleeve.
'What do I do? If I kill them all, there would be no chance of reconciliation with Cloud, and that's if I could even manage that. I don't actually want to be the impetus for a full-fledged war. The Raikage is attacking us because he's convinced we're responsible for B's death. We'll need every ally we can get to destroy Akatsuki, or at least to not be fighting on two fronts. I could get reinforcements, but anyone else would probably just want to kill them all.'
But she couldn't let them think Konoha was weak either. The only thing that would stall further escalation would be to scare the absolute fucking crap out of them. She did have one tool in her arsenal that was unmistakably Konoha's and undeniably terrifying.
Grimly, she swallowed. 'Let's hope that the thunder god is still causing nightmares in Lightning, because most of them look way too young to remember Minato.'
"Up there!"
'He's a sensor,' she noted dimly, switching position rapidly even as the practically-dressed blonde woman she'd noted earlier charged up the tree she'd been hiding in. That one must be one of their big guns, then. Odd that she was the only woman in their party.
Stealing the cutie's headband had been an impulse, but it really wasn't a terrible idea. Humiliating them could backfire if they were the types to get stronger and perform better when pissed off, but it would also be a good demonstration of strength on her part.
As would separating them. That would be good psychological warfare: if they didn't know what she was doing, seeing her pick off party members without a trace of a body would be seriously unnerving.
She stopped moving just long enough to hone in on one of the more intimidating-looking fighters (not so coincidentally, one who was on the outskirts of the group) and darted in with the aid of a seal to use inhuman speed to snatch him up by the back of his weird asymmetrical flak jacket and ricocheted the both of them outside of Konoha's borders. Her left hand shot up to tug off his headband and her right rabbit punched him twice between the shoulder blades and sent him stumbling forward in the same instant that they hit the ground in a new location.
He spun around just in time to see her cheekily hold up his cloud insignia with one hand before tilting her arm to let it slip down her wrist with the other one. "This is nice, I think I'll keep it, Shinobi-kun."
'That oughta leave him steaming.'
The curve to her lips belied her thoughts—it was hard to lie to yourself. She'd done that because it was funny just as much as any tactical reason. Killing these people could backfire, but leaving them stranded and confused in some rice field would be an utterly humiliating way of asserting her superiority over them. (Even if, you know, they would probably wipe the floor with her in a fair match. What the hell did actual physical superiority have to do with dominance?)
One of the first things she needed to do was thin their numbers and leave anyone who wasn't going to end up in Konoha's custody thoroughly fucking disoriented. With the flying thunder god on her side, she was almost certainly faster than any of them could hope to be. That didn't mean that they couldn't get her when she inevitably stopped to get her bearings, especially if she was so outnumbered.
But she had been gone almost two full seconds, and she could hardly leave the others alone within her country's borders. So she blurred back into motion, Hiraishin war-song drowning out all other sounds in her ears.
"t fuck just-"
"She's here again!" The only unmarked shinobi in that clearing was frowning in her direction. Damn, he was a hell of a sensor.
"You're annoying!" Aiko barked out, grimacing at the hottie who had besmirched her hometown and summon animal in one fell swoop. He had to go. But he was too annoying to be released into the wild to awkwardly stumble until he found someplace to give him directions (as hilarious and embarrassing as that would be).
She crouched and sprang to dodge the blonde woman—and hell, she was fast—and darted to the man who had been a thorn in her side. Unfortunately, he was quick on the uptake and had already moved the first time that she flickered to snatch him in a flanking maneuver.
He didn't dodge her the second time. He probably didn't even know what had happened until her hand fisted in the black zip-up sleeveless top above his asymmetrical flak jacket.
"What the hell!" Tsunade stood up with such force that her chest bounced up nearly to hit her in the chin.
"I brought you a present!" Aiko chirped, shoving her blonde captive into the beautiful mahogany desk with an unpleasant thunk as his forehead collided with the dark wood. Belatedly, an ANBU leapt out of hiding and reached for her prisoner.
Tsunade looked pained. "Is that a lightning shinobi?" Her tone was merely incredulous, but that didn't stop her from reaching out and punching the poor blond chump in the head with enough force to send him flying to the back wall before the ANBU could secure him. Something in their prisoner's back crunched when he collided next to the doorframe. After a moment, he peeled off and limply fell forward.
She almost felt bad for him. Getting caught up in someone else's transportation technique was sucky enough when you weren't immediately pummeled in the head by a Kage afterwards. He probably wouldn't be walking in a straight line for a few days.
Well. As long as there wasn't any more head trauma, he would probably be fine.
"Yes, I think there's six more in the northwest, about twenty-five kilometers south of the yellow outpost. Do you want the rest?"
"In my office?" Tsunade asked a bit weakly. The ANBU securing the chump with wire didn't seem more impressed. The door flung open and Shizune burst in, wielding steel.
"If you don't want them, I could just ditch them outside the border like wayward puppies," Aiko generously offered, brushing her hair back and dropping the two collected headbands on Tsunade's desk with an absentminded clatter of metal plates. "I should hurry though, I don't want to leave the rest alone."
"Those poor bastards," Tsunade muttered. Shizune just looked confused. The Hokage stiffened seriously and pinned her with an intense stare. "I don't want any more in my office. Their aim was probably something in the village and we don't know that bringing them in wouldn't help them. This one will do as a political prisoner—he's one of the Raikage's bodyguards."
"Grass and Wave Country it is," Aiko muttered with a distracted nod.
"Wait don't go back out-" Tsunade slumped slightly, having leaned over her desk in an attempt to reach the teen before she left. "without reinforcements," she finished wryly, dropping back into her seat. "It would also have been nice to know where exactly she found them. Shizune, get me the best sensor we have in-village, and a strike team." She held up a hand at a sudden thought. "Two teams! We need to check on that outpost."
"Hai, Hokage-sama!" Shizune nodded and darted out of the office.
"You, get that man to Ibiki," she brusquely commanded the ANBU. He hightailed it out of there, the man called 'C' slung ungracefully over his massive shoulder (a tousled blonde head hit the doorframe with a rather sickening crack as Boar made a run for Torture and Interrogations).
Alone in her office, Tsunade swallowed down nervousness and resisted the urge to tug on her ponytails. Sitting her office when she knew one of her shinobi was fighting within her borders was against everything in her heart.
~~~
After having two of their comrades spirited away (and plenty of time to ruminate on the odd disappearances) the remaining Cloud shinobi had apparently figured out the working strategy of 'not staying still'.
It was frustratingly effective when she was fluttering about a group as large as this one. Her perception and predictive ability was good, but not flawless by any means. Being outnumbered and trying to pick out targets put her at a vexing disadvantage.
'Why couldn't they be stupid enough to stand their ground?'
Time to be a bit more blatant.
Aiko shoved her hands into the opposite sleeves (obscuring the movement so that it would be difficult to tell where the weapon would be coming from) to unhook the kunai on her right arm and drew it out in a snapping motion, directly at the blonde woman.
"Hiraishin!" Someone called out with a strange clipped tone that blurred as she slipped time and space like a fucking champion. She didn't see who had yelled, but was thankful that using the conventional method had finally clued them in. Now if they would just please be obliging enough to be irrationally frightened of Konoha's bogeyman technique and scarper off, that'd be great.
She was too close to her target to see if any eyes widened in comprehension or fear. In the same millisecond that she emerged in front of her target with her hand already wrapped around her weapon, she ducked down under the arm that was moving to deflect her kunai with a Cloud arm guard (snatching her kunai down with her) to hit the other girl with as much force as she could muster with her free hand, along with an explosive-primed seal.
Unfortunately, she was no Tsunade. It would hardly be a finishing blow, but she would have hoped to at least stun her opponent. It was not to be.
Even as the force of her blow brought the other girl curling over, a vicious and flexible double-kick snapped Aiko's knees in a direction that they definitely did not want to bend. Horrifyingly, her opponent seemed to have suddenly grown several inches of razor-sharp toenails that cut into the flesh above Aiko's knees, puncturing her pretty kimono and sticking it to her flesh with dots of hot blood.
'Her taijutsu is probably better than mine. She's faster than I am sans Hiraishin, and she's definitely physically stronger. It's like taking a punch from Naruto, sturdy little bastard that he is.'
If she didn't have Hiraishin, she might in serious shit. But short of something like a disorienting poison or a state of unconsciousness, that massive cheat card could hardly be taken away from her. So Aiko avoided the next blow by means of orienting between three seals to settle behind the group (most of whom had spun to look at the two girls).
The gaping dolts weren't here to look pretty, apparently, as demonstrated by the unpleasant speed with which two men spun to leap in her direction. She darted backwards and ran a few feet up a tree before jumping to another one, raising her voice in a taunting shout. "You know, you chumps have already failed!" She gave an involuntary 'huff' when a flying- was that an axe of all the things- forced her to dodge and flip upwards, grimacing and crouching to get the momentum to bound across the clearing over the blonde lady's head, at least one man in hot pursuit.
At least she was faster than they were, but even if she was faster, dodging so many put her at a disadvantage. "The grumpy one is in the Hokage's custody, and at least one team is on the way out here. How does it feel to completely suck at your job?"
An incoherent growl rose up from behind her and the unbearable heat of a near miss from a lightning strike seared across her back, probably singing her clothes from proximity.
'Ah. Right. Shinobi from the land of Lightning and all that jazz. Can't stay still if I don't want to get fried.'
"I guess that means that it sucks to suck." Aiko swallowed hard, feeling mildly ill from bouncing around like a ping-pong ball. She flung the kunai in her hand straight up into the air so that she could flicker to it and get an aerial view of the clearing. Three of the freakishly persistent lightning shinobi were already in the motion of looking up when she blinked down. She hung suspended in the air in a crouched position for a bare instant to survey the area.
'One, two, three, four… where are the other two?'
Ah. There they were. One was blending into the tree she had just been on under a genjutsu (that was lucky, he could have killed her if she hadn't just switched trajectories) and the other one was hiding under ground. Shit shit shit. Neither of those would be easy to grab.
One of the men was slightly further away from the others. That had to be her next target. She drew the kunai close to her chest and snapped it back out in a path that should end a few feet above his head and caught it again a heartbeat later, kicking her feet onto his shoulders and letting her momentum help her ride him to the ground. He hit the dirt face-first in what had to be a painful forwards fall, but the maneuver (and the slight unresponsiveness in her knees that she hadn't accounted for after the clawed kick they'd taken earlier) left her on a downward path that was going to end with her knees buckling under and her ass hitting her heels. Her torso wanted to bend forward, but the woman in purple and black was coming in hot.
Fuck, didn't she ever give up or take a second to react? She was relentless and demonically fast.
Aiko could see how the current tableau was going to play out as if it had already happened. If she didn't move, that scarily strong woman was going to knock her head straight off her shoulders. (Or cut it off with the freaky claws she'd gained in the last minute-and-a-half. Where did those come from?) There was no chance that she would be able to unfold her legs and jump out of the way in time. Perhaps she could roll to one side or another, but that would leave her vulnerable on the ground in the next second as well.
So Aiko snapped her torso backwards with painful force, flinging her hands over her head up to blindly grab at whatever she could reach of the shinobi behind her, came up with a handful of his hair (and barely missed grasping a shoulder) and pulled on the first tag she felt. That one wasn't nearly far enough away, so she took the millisecond necessary to seek out the tag in Mist and pull on it and two others.
If she'd done that right, they were probably in Wave. She probably hadn't, however, since the next thing she knew was that she was soaking wet, having apparently landed on a body of water. Her head collided with the surface with a cold shock and she would have sputtered if she wasn't breathing in salt water. Her body was still curled up backwards, but at least landing in water gave her the mobility to straighten simply by kicking her legs straight (even though that left her floating face-up instead of in any tactical position).
A blow to the back of her head made her see white and lose her grip on a fistful of short-ish hair.
'Right. That guy. He's still here and conscious.'
The force of the punch had actually sent her further underwater and would have been considerably worse if it hadn't been slowed by their surroundings. Her opponent was on top of her in the water, the preferable position. He could very easily kill her.
If she'd stayed, that was. Aiko frantically pulled on the first three tags she could register (by coincidence, the one in Mist, one on the northern border, and one in Grass) and landed somewhere between the three, violently spitting out foul water even as she awkwardly touched down on solid ground with her hastily bent legs. She was probably in Rice country, though she wasn't about to consult her map. Especially since there was still a fist curled in her hair.
She yanked her head forward and ignored the pain, because the angle dragged his arm up and allowed her to twist just enough to elbow the man behind her with adrenaline-fueled force that audibly snapped a rib. He howled in her ear and let his grip loosen out of shock. It was all the opportunity she needed to turn the rest of the way to push one palm on his chest (planting a seal reflexively) and wrap her fingers of the other hand around the warm metal of his forehead protector. She removed it with the simple expedient of leaping straight upwards and pulling it with her (though there was more than a bit of hair caught in the knot at the back, ew).
'What happened to my kunai?'
Fuck. It had probably been dropped in the water, and she wasn't in the mood to go back for it.
"Bye bye, asshole!" Aiko bit out with considerably more venom than was strictly necessary. He'd been a bigger pain in the ass than anticipated.
The five Cloud shinobi still in the clearing were inured enough to her coming and going that they didn't jump to see her reappear. Though there was at least one confused double-take at her dripping hair and clothes. She took a moment to tug the hairpin hanging limply from her skull free and tuck it under her obi for safe-keeping. Damn, that was a good accessory. A lesser bit of jewelry would have been knocked free in a scuffle like that.
"Almost halfway done!" Aiko taunted as she crouched in a ready position, concealing her breathless and mildly lightheaded state from gulping in water instead of air a few moments ago.
"Don't be so arrogant!" The blonde woman called out in a bizarrely low growl. Hadn't her voice been much higher a few minutes ago? Odd.
"We should retreat!" The look that accompanied that call was wide-eyed and frankly a bit crazy, but at that moment Aiko loved the older man who'd given it. "If there are more coming, our mission is lost."
"Coward!" The rasp was all but inhuman. And it frightened the Cloud shinobi as much or more than Aiko did, because all but one of the men in that clearing turned tail to run. "We can't get our primary target, but there's a shinobi right there!" The odds looked significantly better for a bare instant, even if she was now mulling over the unpleasant possibility that there was something going on other than murder that she hadn't figured out.
Then her heart thudded to her gut. 'I'm in over my head.'
It wasn't just that she was outnumbered by high level shinobi. Or that she knew she couldn't possibly have reinforcements in time to help if this went badly. Those things weren't bad enough on their own merits, so it was just the cherry on top that she'd never fought a jinchuuriki before.
Well. There was that time with Gaara, but that had been short and she'd had back up. And he had been overwhelmed by his demon into a state of stupid brutality. The blonde woman who had just sprouted the beginnings of a virtual cloak of chakra was definitely in control of her facilities, judging by the obvious intelligence glittering in her eyes and mona lisa smile.
'Fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck.'