Despite every objection inside me, I sat down on the edge of the couch in a rush.
"Look," I said, wagging my finger at Alp, "just one minute! Then I'm getting up. Don't you dare try anything else!"
The curve of Alp's lips widened.
"Alright, alright… one minute is enough anyway."
Without wasting any time, he curled up beside me and rested his head on my knees. In that moment, every muscle in my body froze. My breath got stuck in my chest, my heart pounding as if it were about to leap out.
Alp closed his eyes and murmured in a peaceful voice:
"So… come on, play with my hair. I can't fall asleep like this."
My eyes went wide.
"What?!" I said, my voice cracking.
"I said, play with my hair," he repeated with a faint smirk on his face. "Like a kid… otherwise I can't sleep."
My hand rose involuntarily, my fingers trembling. Should I touch it? Should I not? Inside, I wanted to scream like crazy.
Alp looked at me through half-closed eyelids.
"Come on, Ada… is it really that hard?"
My breathing quickened. My palms were sweaty. When I touched his hair with the tip of my finger, it was as if electricity shot through my body. As if my heart no longer fit inside my ribs, struggling to break free.
Oh Ada, what are you doing? It's just hair! Yes, just hair… but why is it so soft?
I carefully threaded my fingers through Alp's hair. My eyes drifted to his face without my consent.
Oh God… no one should be this handsome. Even his eyelashes make you jealous. And how does he smell this good, even at this hour in the morning? Can a man really smell this good?
My heart was lodged in my throat. I was struggling not to let my hands shake.
Meanwhile, Alp murmured contentedly:
"See… now that's it. Sleep is coming."
Let him fall asleep so I can be saved, otherwise I'll faint from all this excitement!
And yet, I couldn't take my eyes off the way he lay there on my lap. The curve of his lips, the faint shadow falling on his cheek… everything was far too close.
No, Ada, this is dangerous… very, very dangerous.
Alp's eyes were closed, but his voice came out in a whisper almost mixed with sleep:
"Next to you… I feel very safe."
My breath caught.
What did he just say? Safe? With me?
My fingers touching his hair froze midair.
"And… you smell nice too," he murmured without opening his eyes.
I screamed inside.
That's it, Ada, you're done! You're officially ruined. What is this boy doing to me?
I bit my lip and turned my head slightly. His breath was warm against my leg. Inside me were two different Adas—one wanting to run, the other wanting to stay.
But I couldn't run. Because Alp's murmuring voice had chained my heart.
Alp opened his eyes and looked at me. His gaze was so close, so deep, that my breath was cut short.
"From this close… your eyes are even more beautiful," he said, and took my hand.
My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. I tried to pull my hand back quickly, but he didn't let go. My face was burning.
"Alp, enough…" I said in a low voice, then jumped to my feet in one swift motion.
When I stood up, Alp was still stretched out as if his arms were a pillow; he lifted his head.
"Why did you get up now?" he said reproachfully. "I was lying so comfortably."
I stared at him in disbelief.
"You were lying down, huh? You had no intention of sleeping at all," I said, my eyes still caught on how his hands had just gripped my fingers.
Alp smiled slightly, almost like a wink.
"I did have the intention—you're the one ruining it."
"Me?" I said, my eyebrows shooting up.
"You're playing games with me, pretending to sleep and grabbing my hand!"
That mischievous sparkle appeared in Alp's eyes again. He straightened up from where he lay and moved a little closer to me.
"No games, Ada. It's just that when I look at you this closely, I don't feel like falling asleep."
I tried to suppress the breath knotting in my throat. I took a step back, but I couldn't take my eyes off his.
"You… it's very obvious what your intentions are."
Alp chuckled softly and tilted his head to the side.
"Alright, let's say my intentions are different… what will you do then?"
My heart started racing. In that moment, I felt both like running away and like I was nailed to the spot.
"That's enough!" I said, my voice trembling but firm. "I'm leaving. Don't ever show up in front of me again!"
Alp narrowed his eyes at me, that mischievous smile still on his face.
"Not show up in front of you? Oh Ada… even your temper makes my head spin," he said, lifting his hand slightly as if to stop me.
"I'm leaving!" I shouted, stepping back angrily.
Alp quickly moved in front of me and grabbed my arm.
"You can't leave… you haven't even put me to sleep yet," he said, his voice firm.
My heart was pounding wildly. I tried to pull free of his grip.
"Let go of me!" I shouted.
When Alp stepped closer, his face came right up to mine, his breath warm and near.
"Come on, Ada… you want to stay with me too. Admit it!"
A mix of fear and excitement rose inside me. With one last burst of strength, I broke free and headed for the door.
"Never! You have no right to corner me like this!"
I quickened my steps and rushed out of the house, my heart pounding as if it would leap out of my chest.
The moment I opened the door, my hands were shaking with excitement. Işıl was standing on the threshold, a hint of mischief sparkling in her eyes.
"Did you put him to sleep?" she asked, her voice low but clearly amused.
Startled, rubbing my hands together quickly, I lifted my head.
"You… were you listening to us?" I said, surprised and a little embarrassed.
Işıl laughed and shrugged.
"I wouldn't say listening, but when the door's ajar, a little bit… Look at the state you're in this early in the morning!"
She stepped a little closer, the mischief in her eyes becoming more pronounced.
"Girl… you've fallen in love with this boy!" Her tone was playful, a bit teasing.
"What… what do you mean?" I said, my voice trembling involuntarily. My face was flushed.
Işıl laughed again, shrugging and tilting her head.
"I mean, it's early in the morning, your hands are shaking, your heart's pounding like crazy… Stop ignoring it, Ada. He's clearly affected you."
My heart started beating even faster, waves of embarrassment and excitement colliding inside me. At that moment, Alp's presence felt more striking and burning than ever.
Even Pakize seemed to be meowing as if to say, "You can't stop thinking about him, Ada! Come on, admit it!"