I booked a taxi to a nearby laundromat to the adoption center. It's a couple minutes ahead but it's better than the windy, cold weather. We get into the laundromat, a man who is balding and wearing a forest green cargo jacket walks by us to exit. When we get in we decide to sit on these uncomfortable, plastic feeling chairs for 5 minutes until the taxi gets here, and she's scrolling on her phone, probably to distract herself from this awkward silence. I feel like I messed something up, I mean to be fair, I should be directing the conversation but at the same time we would just have boring small talk which, at that point, would feel forced.
As we wait we hear the ambience of a man calling his friend about a project of some sorts, but I can't make out what else he's saying. He leans against a dryer and he talks loud with a voice sounding like if a gameshow host had a raspy smoker voice. The cars outside drive by with the sound of waves hitting the sand, and the low buzz from the heaters.
When the taxi gets here, I see the car pull up and I pick up the shopping bag wedged between my seat and a coin exchange machine. We enter the car and sit in the back, the man sounds a bit over middle aged, and I cant make out his face. We begin on our way and he plays smooth jazz music. I look out the window, the streetlights are illuminating the unexpected rainfall. We drive by gas stations with bright leds, some are flickering, probably from the rain.
We arrive at the adoption center, the taxi gives us a moment to say goodbye to each other as we're outside the car.
"I had a good time tonight, Ryoma." A smile crossing her face, her straight hair being unaffected by the rain.
"Seriously, like, I haven't felt like someone wanted me to be around them in a while." She hesitates, and keeps going.
"And not only that, you paid for like a lot of stuff… I mean a taxi, a ¥13000 jacket…" She seems happy.
"And-"
"I'm glad we got to hangout, Mika, I had fun." I interrupt her I smile and give her the shopping bag.
"Well- I should leave now, bye!" She says with a tad haste.
"Yeah of course."
She disappears into the adoption center and waves, and I wave back. As I walk back to the taxi, the entrance of the center closes and I open the backseat door of the taxi and tell the man my address.
"You know, girls like that always go away, it's not because of you, it just happens way too often." The taxi driver said, unexpectedly.
"I don't see us breaking apart." I reply with honesty
"Expect the unexpected, I'm not gonna be that old guy in movies to tell you whats right because I'm in no position to, I'm just making you aware. That's all I'll say." He says bluntly, he seems like a man who isn't sentimental.
The driver drops me off, and he doesn't say bye. I open the buffer of my apartment and unlock the door leading in, walking up the stairs but I skip forward by a step. I jumble my keys a bit trying to get it in because I have to pee.
I decided to treat myself for a bit, and when I mean treat, I mean playing jazz while sipping on black tea. I watch the city flow past me, like paint forming. It's weird being by yourself after going somewhere for the first time in forever, I never really knew how lonely I was until I was accompanied, and I kind of feel worse than I did before. I don't think Mika would break apart from me.
Sleep breaks out.
Chapter 4.1: Conscious Atonement
The gleam from the sun shines through the windshield and it blinds my eyes. My gloves, my boots are on, guess I fell asleep. I start the car and the pebbles are wrestling under the car as I drive out.
"Do you want anything from kfc?"
..
"You know they have coffee if you want any."
..
"Nevermind then."
Guess she doesn't want anything.
I nudge her lightly. Cold, even with the heat fully on. I already know why, and you can probably guess too.