The Demon Killing Agency HQ loomed over the city like a fortress made of light.
Glowing runes covered every wall, designed to detect and incinerate demons on sight.
Statues of angels held flaming swords at the entrance, and banners fluttered with the D.K.A. motto:
"PURITY, ORDER, JUSTICE."
Lucien squinted up at it, unimpressed.
"Hmm. No mention of food or naps. I already hate this place."
Valerie elbowed him hard. "Shut it. We need to blend in. One wrong move and we're barbecue."
McGruffin gulped. "Yeah, and I already smell like I'm medium rare."
They approached the massive glass doors, and immediately the detection runes flared bright.
Lucien froze.
Valerie smiled too wide.
McGruffin started sweating like a sprinkler.
A mechanical voice spoke from above:
"Scanning… scanning… ERROR. Subject Lucien… species… undetermined."
Lucien blinked. "Undetermined? Oh! I must be unique!"
Valerie hissed under her breath. "You're a walking red flag!"
Before things could escalate, Hana appeared from inside — now wearing her D.K.A. officer uniform: sleek black, trimmed with holy silver.
Her pink hair shimmered under the light, and the second Lucien saw her, his brain short-circuited.
"Wow…" he whispered. "You look… like a blessed strawberry."
Hana turned bright red. "Wha—Lucien! Stop saying weird things in public!"
Valerie's eye twitched again. "Oh, she likes that one, huh?"
Hana cleared her throat quickly. "They're with me! New recruits from… uh… the border region!"
The guard at the door nodded skeptically, then shrugged. "Fine. But they'll need to pass the Purity Scan."
Lucien grinned. "Oh, I'm pure alright. Pure chaos."
Valerie facepalmed. "You're gonna get us killed."
The Purity Scan
Inside the main hall, a large glowing crystal pulsed in the center.
Each new recruit was required to touch it — if the crystal stayed blue, they were human.
If it turned red… well, incineration was immediate.
Lucien leaned close to Valerie and whispered, "What if I just wink at it?"
"Lucien, I swear—"
"Next!" the clerk barked.
McGruffin went first, trembling like a leaf. He pressed his palm to the crystal.
It flickered red, then green, then blue.
Lucien whispered, "It's confused, just like everyone who's ever met you."
McGruffin exhaled in relief. "I'm in!"
Next was Valerie. She confidently placed her hand on the crystal. It pulsed blue instantly — thanks to Lucien's earlier enchantment that disguised her demonic essence.
The clerk smiled. "Excellent purity levels."
Lucien snorted. "You should see her when she's angry."
Valerie stomped his foot. "You're next."
Lucien swaggered up, hand ready. "Watch and learn."
The crystal glowed bright red.
Everyone froze.
Then, for some reason, the entire system glitched and displayed a cheerful message:
"ERROR: TOO PURE TO MEASURE."
The crowd gasped.
Hana blinked. "Wha—what!?"
Lucien, trying not to laugh, raised his hands. "Guess I'm… just built different."
Valerie mouthed: "You're unbelievable."
After the chaos, Hana began showing them around the facility — the training grounds, weapon labs, and the Hall of Angels where portraits of past heroes hung.
Lucien stared at one of the portraits — a man in armor who looked suspiciously like him.
He tilted his head. "Wow. Handsome guy. Whoever he was must've been a legend."
Valerie deadpanned. "That's you, idiot. You blessed some nun back in the 1600s."
Hana, overhearing, blinked. "He… did what?"
Lucien coughed loudly. "Moving on!"
The Training Test
To finalize recruitment, every new member had to demonstrate their combat ability.
They were put into the training arena — a massive dome surrounded by onlookers.
The instructor, a grizzled veteran with cybernetic wings, barked orders.
"Each of you! Show me what you've got!"
McGruffin went first, fumbling with his blade but somehow tripping into a perfect accidental takedown of the test dummy.
The instructor raised an eyebrow. "Unorthodox… but effective."
Valerie's turn. She moved like fire — graceful, fast, and way too powerful.
She punched the air, and the shockwave obliterated half the test dummies.
The instructor's jaw dropped. "Sweet mercy—!"
Lucien clapped proudly. "That's my girl!"
Valerie turned beet red. "I'M NOT YOUR—"
Before she could finish, it was Lucien's turn.
He cracked his knuckles, stepped into the ring, and stared at his opponent — a mechanical angel drone.
Lucien grinned. "Be gentle. I'm fragile today."
The drone attacked first — fast and ruthless. Lucien ducked, dodged, slipped on his own cloak, spun around, accidentally kicked a lever, and triggered a chain reaction that short-circuited all the drones.
Smoke filled the arena.
Everyone stared.
Lucien shrugged. "Tactical genius."
Hana clapped awkwardly. "Well… he's creative."
Valerie muttered, "Creative stupidity."
After the test, the instructor sighed. "You three are… unusual. But effective. Welcome to the D.K.A."
Lucien grinned. "See? I told you this would be easy."
Valerie whispered, "You almost blew yourself up."
McGruffin saluted dramatically. "Sir, we will uphold the honor of humanity!"
Lucien leaned toward Hana. "So… where do we eat?"
She giggled. "You haven't changed at all."
Valerie scowled. "Unfortunately he hasn't."
Lucien smiles faintly.
The D.K.A. cafeteria was packed — chatter, laughter, the smell of fried noodles and coffee everywhere. Lucien sat at a table with Hana, Valerie, and three new faces Hana had just introduced.
"Lucien, Valerie — meet my squad," Hana said proudly.
She pointed one by one. "This is Ethan, our strategist; Lily, our healer; and Bradley, the muscle."
Lucien almost burst out laughing.
"Bradley?!" he repeated, snickering. "That sounds like the name of a talking horse!"
Bradley raised an eyebrow. "And Lucien Vale sounds like a perfume brand, pal."
Lucien froze, offended. "I'll have you know, if I were a perfume, I'd smell divine."
Valerie sighed, resting her chin on her palm. "You already reek of trouble. That's close enough."
The group chuckled.
They all ate together, chatting about past missions and how Hana joined the D.K.A.
"So, Hana," Ethan said, "what do you think of the new recruits?"
Hana smiled warmly. "They're… different."
Lucien grinned proudly. "Different is good! Different means special."
Valerie muttered, "Different means 'wanted by Heaven and Hell.'"
Lucien elbowed her lightly. "Shh, they don't know that."
Lily laughed. "You two act like an old married couple."
Valerie immediately blushed bright red. "Wha— no! I'd never marry this idiot!"
Lucien placed a hand dramatically on his chest. "You wound me, my dear Valerie."
Everyone laughed. Even Hana tried to hide her smile.
As the conversation continued, Ethan leaned in. "You know what'd be the ultimate joke?"
"What?" Hana asked.
"If demons somehow infiltrated the D.K.A. — imagine that! Working next to the enemy without knowing."
Bradley barked a laugh. "Yeah right! Those freaks would burn the second they step in here."
Lucien and Valerie froze.
McGruffin, sitting beside them, choked on his drink.
Lucien forced an awkward laugh. "Heh… yeah… totally impossible."
Valerie nodded stiffly. "Yep. They'd… burn. Instantly."
Everyone laughed, while Lucien nervously sipped his juice like it was holy water.
Back at Hana's Apartment
After their "team bonding," the group dispersed. Hana, Valerie, and Lucien returned to the apartment they shared.
The second the door shut, Lucien threw himself on the bed, starfish-style.
"I can't feel my soul anymore," he groaned. "Socializing is worse than torture."
Valerie rolled her eyes. "You just sat there eating other people's fries."
Lucien gasped. "Sharing food is an intimate human bonding ritual!"
Hana chuckled softly. "You're hopeless."
He peeked an eye open at her smile and smirked. "I prefer 'charmingly mysterious.'"
The sun began to dip below the horizon when Hana called him outside.
Lucien stretched lazily. "What's up, Strawberry?"
"Training," she said firmly, crossing her arms.
He blinked. "For what?"
"For you, obviously. You can't rely on Valerie forever. If you're joining the D.K.A., you need to get stronger."
Lucien scoffed. "I already am strong."
"Then prove it," Hana said with a grin.
She tossed him to the ground and ordered, "Start with push-ups."
Lucien got into position confidently.
"One… easy," he said.
"Two… wait…"
"Three—gah! My arms are rebelling!"
He collapsed face-first into the grass.
Valerie leaned on the balcony, sipping coffee and laughing. "Pathetic."
"Shut up," Lucien mumbled into the dirt. "Gravity here is heavier than Hell's."
Hana tried not to laugh but failed. "Come on, you can do it! You saved my life once — surely you can do ten push-ups."
Lucien looked up at her with watery eyes. "That was when I had six-pack abs of darkness. Now I have noodle arms of suffering."
Hana crouched next to him, smirking. "Then let's rebuild those abs of darkness."
Lucien groaned dramatically. "I miss when people bowed at my feet instead of making me do cardio."
Valerie shouted from above, "Welcome to the human world, boss!"
Later That Night
Hana was teaching Lucien basic human training — jogging, punches, balance drills.
He complained through all of it.
"Ow. My everything hurts."
"That's called progress," Hana teased.
When they finished, he collapsed again, breathing heavily.
"Do humans do this every day just to stay alive?" Lucien gasped.
"Yes," Hana replied proudly. "We call it discipline."
Lucien blinked. "Discipline sucks."
She laughed. "Yeah, but it works."
For a moment, as the moonlight hit her pink hair, Lucien smiled softly.
Something about her presence felt… familiar. Warm.
He didn't realize he was staring until Valerie yelled from the window:
"Hey lovebirds! Training or flirting?"
Lucien jolted up. "Neither! We were just—uh—burning calories!"
Valerie rolled her eyes. "You burn everything except calories."
Hana shook her head, smiling faintly.
"Alright, Mr. Weak Muscles. Tomorrow we're working on endurance."
Lucien groaned. "Tomorrow, I'm calling in sick."
Valerie chuckled. "You are sick. In the head."
Lucien pointed dramatically. "That's emotional damage, Valerie!"
The scene faded out with the three of them bickering under the night sky — a bizarre little family of chaos, humor, and secrets.