When I lit the campfire I sat for a while in front of it; for some reason I felt a little more… calm, letting myself think more clearly.
"I… I couldn't do anything to help her. She died because of me…"
I told myself as I clenched my fist until my knuckles ached.
"If only I had been a little stronger, I would have helped her and she wouldn't have had to die in such a cruel way… I can't allow more people to die because of the monsters in this country. I must help. I must help because she always helped others, like she did for me. So I will honor her death by helping as many people as I can."
After saying those words quietly, I slowly got up from the ground and began to look around. The place was surrounded by an immense forest; the trees were ancient columns whispering secrets. From where I stood I could see three paths opening through the undergrowth like veins in the earth.
As I approached one of them, I saw to the right some stairs half-hidden by what had once been a house: only three giant walls remained. I approached; the wood that had been the floor creaked, and something in me said it was better not to enter that place. It was dark and the silence inside smelled of ash.
I returned to the spot where I had lit the fire. The flame, strangely, seemed to refuse to die — a persistent glow that offered me warmth and company. Beneath the post sat that rabbit I had seen before. It was still there, motionless, as if anchored to that spot.
I didn't know what to do, so I approached cautiously. There was something in its gaze, an ironic spark, as if it knew more than it let on.
"Hey, did you come here too?"
The rabbit looked at me and, to my surprise, spoke in a deep, friendly voice.
"Nah, I guess they brought you, like the others."
"What… what do you mean?" I stammered, not understanding.
"Sorry, it's just a way of saying it. Don't worry: this isn't hell. It's a place for those who became wanderers. Take the first step."
"What do you mean? I don't understand anything."
"I see. It seems there's something you should do, right? Maybe save the world, or rule all humanity. I don't care. But if you have souls I'll help you level up. Take as much time as you need in this forest; it's okay. But I must warn you: demonic beasts lurk on the outskirts. Try not to die. Ah, but since you're undead that's something you don't have to worry about, hahaha!"
"I can't die?" I asked, half stunned, half hopeful.
"Mmm… you're a strange undead, I know. But understand it however you like. Ah," —he said, and for a moment his tone softened— "find Leaf before you leave. She's not like the other fairies; I'm sure she'll help you. If you follow the path upward you'll find her; she likes to go for walks sometimes."
"Ah… right. Thank you, thank you very much. I'll go then, Mr. Rabbit."
"You're welcome. Take care on your journey."
The rabbit remained just as still in that position in front of the post.
I then headed upward where the forest seemed to really begin. The path narrowed and at times vanished into fog and leaves. The damp smelled of fresh earth and old iron; each step raised little ghosts of dust that sparkled.
I reached a point where the road split in two. To the right, a man stood by what looked like a statue; his words floated, hoarse, in the air.
"Damn them… they couldn't escape, impossible… black trials…"
When I heard him, I turned my head and the man vanished in a blink, as if someone had erased his existence with a dry gesture. A chill ran down my spine. The right path became a dead end; there were only trunks that blocked the way. I decided to take the left path.
As I walked, I began to hear a song, a light melody slipping between the trees.
"La-la-la-lalala," a voice hummed.
In the distance I made out a tiny figure dancing among the shadows: a slight creature, almost made of light and leaves. I couldn't resist the urge to greet her; standing and watching would have made me feel ridiculous.
"Hello?" I called.
"Hmm? Who could that be?" she answered, and stopped singing.
She turned; her silhouette was small, with wings that fluttered like petals. She smiled mischievously.
"Oh… it's you."
I was puzzled that she knew me so easily.
"Fufufuf. You must be out of touch with so many things happening one after another, right? It's okay. The forest is protected by a sacred barrier; it's safe here. My name is Leaf. Can you tell me yours?"
Name… damn —I thought—. I don't remember my name. A sharp pain shot through my temple; I tried to dig into my memory, but instead of memories came voices: a chorus of fragments layered until they became noise. Name… a name that is mine and only mine, but I couldn't reach it. Had I forgotten it? Had it snapped inside me like a rope?
I decided to improvise. If I couldn't recover what was mine, I would borrow a name until memory returned.
The wind blew; the branches stirred with a whisper as if nature held its breath. I said the first thing that came to mind.
"My name is… G****."
Leaf looked at me with eyes that contained stars and mischief.
"Nice name. Are you heading to the Lost Empire? Right?" she chuckled. "Well, you're free to go wherever you want… but it's dangerous to go alone. Let me lend my help: if you summon me when you're in combat, I'll support you with the best of my abilities. If you want, summon me often, okay? ~"
"All right, I'll think about it."
"Good, but you're free, I mean it. If you don't like someone, feel free to kill them. If there's a girl you want, don't hesitate to take her by force. This country is destined to perish and disappear anyway, right? …just kidding… just kidding, heehee. See you soon. Goodbye!"
Leaf rose into the air in a dance of laughter and disappeared among the ferns, her song lingering like a cheerful echo. Those words, seemingly callous, stuck in my head like thorns. Should I do whatever I pleased, even if it meant harming others? Doubt crackled, and with it the flame of my intention: to protect, to help, to mend.