The room was dead quiet, again. A void of noises, something familiar to the pair. It was Dr. Griffin's office. She adjusted herself in her chair, again, letting Jackie choose his next words wisely.
Jackie looked like shit. His nose was still taped up, eye bags grew heavy and dark. That aimless veteran that wandered into her office on a suggestion from a lover was gone, replaced with an angry, broken soul. Jackie had no idea why he even came. But maybe he liked to think Tiffany was watching. Somewhere. She'd be disappointed if he stopped now. He looked at Griffin. "What do you want me to say?"
"Nothing," Griffin said. "I only want to listen. Last time we talked, we discussed your dislike of authority. Including your parents. Do you keep in contact with them?"
"Pfft," Jackie scoffed. "No. We haven't."
"When was the last time you talked to them?"
Jackie pulled out a cigarette from his jean jacket pocket and sparked it. "No shit, 2001. That was the last time. My birthday was in February, so as soon as I turned 18 I went to the army. I was tired of living there. They hated me, I was convinced they did. I remember every word of what my dad said. He told me they'd be long gone when I come back. I didn't care. I was just so… So…"
"Angry?" Griffin finished.
"Angry. Yeah. Over the years I calmed down. They never wrote to me, and I never wanted to write to them. Maybe it was principle. They wronged me, I can't crawl to them. Fast forward to like 2007. I take a sniper round to the shoulder. I was bleeding bad. I thought I would be dead there. But I was saved. I used that as a sign, I can't let grudges control my life. I got discharged, and went home."
"And what did you see when you got home?"
Jackie sighed out smoke. "I took a taxi to our old home. It was untouched. Like I never left. I remember creeping up those steps. It felt like I was in trouble for sneaking out. I realized the door was open, so I went inside. He kept his promise. The house was empty. All the pictures, the memories, gone. I can't get those back. They could be in Florida or Germany. That rage I thought I expelled returned."
Griffin jotted down some notes. "You harbor anger? Bottle it up?"
"Yeah," Jackie said defensively. "That's all I have. You've been told to respect your parents, and look where that got me? You're told to be a good soldier, they forget to tell you the way you'll sell your soul."
"It seems like you hold anger for institutions you were told to trust. I understand. Everyone in your life you were told to trust had failed you. But you can put your trust in people you love."
"Then they die," Jackie said. "Sure, whatever. I do. You can't blame me. I fucking hate the army. And my parents."
"Beacuse they abandoned you?" Griffin asked.
Jackie shook his head. "They're cowards. They're fucking cowards. They created me. They created this monster. And they can't even face the consequences."
"I don't think you're a monster, Jackie."
His eyes trailed to the doctor, staring into her soul, seeing her usually stone cold deminer falter a bit as she looked at Jackie, that look he gave, it felt like the devil. "If only you saw what I did."
Griffin cleared her throat, attempting to reign in her worry. "Reguardless of what you did, everyone is capable of change. I think once you can forgive yourself, you can start seeing the human, instead of the monster."
The monster. If only she knew. Jackie imagined UV–or him, sitting next to him. Full costume, bloody and smiling. He rubbed his face to return to reality and turned to Griffin. "I will. Once I correct these wrongs, everyone will forgive me."
The doctor raised an eyebrow but wrote the last of her notes. "...Ok, I think we can call it here. I can send you a few resources for anger management classes. Sounds good?"
"Yup."