It was disorienting, being in one place one moment and another the next. Although it didn't seem to physically affect him, it was certainly jarring mentally.
And even beyond that, his mind was still a mess.
Aion got up from the bed he had woken up in and looked around. Much like last time, the room seemed identical enough. The only immediate difference he spotted was the enclosure with the butterflies, now numbering three. Of course, the new butterfly was squirming much like the last two had.
Perhaps it represents the number of times this has repeated?
It didn't seem like a crazy inference based on everything he has so far.
Looking over at the bookshelf, he remembered that grabbing a novel was something he'd forgotten in the last loop, making his days pass by slowly and miserably.
But still, an entire novel reflected in this nightmare? Doesn't that go beyond just lucidity?
"..." Aion shook the thought off. It made him only feel worse.
He browsed the options and grabbed Crime and Punishment. Although he'd read it before, the experience itself hadn't been all that great. Stretching across almost a year, he'd been very slow with it. And because of that, he hadn't absorbed everything like he'd wished.
Now was as good a time as any to reread it.
Next he prepared his coat, gloves, and everything he's worn the last several loops. It wasn't like Luna was going to show up in only a couple minutes, but he felt himself getting antsy.
He wanted to see her.
He wanted to talk to her again, laugh, make jokes, and have all his worries fade away.
He didn't want to remember the last loop.
He wanted to forget it. Have the memories burned away until nothing remains. Nothing good came of it, and he was sure nothing good would ever come of it.
Waiting outside, he heard the winds howl. That and the cold were his main distractions from it all. An escape that made him feel awful, but one that didn't feel as bad as experiencing it face first.
So he waited, taking in those sensations so he could avoid it until she arrived. Perhaps it was unhealthy.
No, it most certainly was. It was just escapism.
Ultimately he was leaving everyone there to their deaths. Of course, not all would die, but a majority would.
And he couldn't help but think that maybe just knowing was complicit.
Aion shook his head; he needed to stop. This was going nowhere. This was exactly why he didn't want to return. It would only plague him that he couldn't do anything.
Despite him knowing how truly incompetent he was, a sense of guilt festered in his heart.
Aion clutched his chest, and soon enough, he heard footsteps.
He quickly turned toward her, his heart soaring with relief.
"Ah!" Luna let out a surprised noise, probably from seeing Aion's expression.
It was a mixture of relief and sadness—guilt and hope.
"Ah…" Was all Aion could manage as tears formed in his eyes.
"Huh? Hey, what's wrong?" Luna rushed over, a concerned expression on her face. "Did something happen?"
"No, nothing happened," Aion said with a smile. But even with that, the tears that fell were heavy, burdened with the past—burdened with existing within this moment.
"Eh…" Luna only looked confused.
"I just…I don't know…"
"Should we go inside for a moment?" Luna asked.
"No, you don't have to do this for a stranger…"
Luna's eyes swam with some foreign emotion, and she grabbed his arm and started dragging him inside, sitting him down on the bed so he needn't stand anymore.
"I'm Luna Amaryllis," Luna began introducing herself, placing a hand on her chest in confidence. "I would like to say it's a pleasure to meet you, but you kind of just started crying when you saw me…"
"My bad," Aion said. "I'm…Aion Belial…"
Aion's eyes were a little sad when he said that.
"Aion, huh?" Luna said, her tone a little vague.
"Yeah, I guess my mom had weird taste in names."
"Perhaps, but I think it's a fine enough name," Luna said with a bright smile.
It was a warm smile that seemed to melt the cold he had been feeling after the last loop. And, despite it being selfish, Aion couldn't help but smile at the reality he was a part of now. That world—now gone—is certainly a burden, but one that he wished not to give weight to.
However, that smile faded when she asked, "If you don't mind me asking, why did you cry?"
Aion wasn't sure how to reply. In the myriad of options that stretched before him, in an almost endless line that went far beyond the scope he was capable of seeing. And because of that, despite the seemingly endless approaches available, he could only conjure up the ones right in front of him, the pens he could almost reach out and touch.
And among them, he made a decision. Perhaps it wasn't the most poetic choice or the most optimal. It was a choice, regardless of its value, that seemed to call to him the most.
So he spoke that choice without hesitation.
"I just felt happy to see somebody…"
Aion's voice was barely audible. But based on the way Luna's breath hitched, it was clear she'd heard it.
"I…see…" Luna replied, taken aback. But soon, she lowered herself, crouching to meet Aion's line of sight, and said with a warm smile, "Well, I'm happy I could help you with that."
"Luna," Aion said almost breathlessly.
He was sure that he seemed incomprehensible to her. Being so moved merely by the presence of a stranger was certainly bizarre. But to his surprise, she took it on headfirst.
A part of him felt vindicated. Yes, Alphonse was wrong. This was most certainly who Luna was, not the evil that he claimed. Not the type of person to completely manipulate him.
"Hk!" Aion felt the tears that he thought had already dried up hit a new rejuvenation.
And they poured. Poured and poured like a faucet that wouldn't turn off.
Luna only stared at Aion in disbelief.
But Aion couldn't stop it. Sure, he cried. He cried a lot during the last loop. He cried too much, but he still couldn't stop.
It was horrible.
Demonic.
And he hated it.
He hated how it was all written this way.
The fates of the characters attending that party were written into the pages, woven together into a tapestry that resembled the narrative of Crystal Machinations. Perhaps it wasn't identical, but it was parallel. Completely reflecting the mastery of that work.
An echo that pierced directly through Aion's exterior, internalizing itself into him. Etched into the truth of his soul. All that remained was a fact that resonated with his very soul—he would never forget that loop.
Aion felt someone shaking him on his shoulders, and through his watery vision, he saw the figure of Luna, concerned.
"Luna…" He whispered. "I'm fine…"
"You're clearly not! You're crying like crazy. Don't worry, I know a trick to get you to stop quickly—"
"Ouch!" Aion let out a yelp of pain from being pinched.
"Whenever I'm feeling down, all I do is pinch myself, and I stop immediately! Isn't it so effective?" Luna asked with a smug smile.
Despite the arrogance, it seemed to have stopped Aion.
"I guess it worked, thank you."
"Did you think it wouldn't?"
"Yes."
Luna's eyes shot wide open and her mouth fell open for a second.
She then gave a pout and exclaimed, "That's so rude!"
Aion laughed and continued, "I mean, pinching someone while they're in distress? Pft!"
"Hey! It worked. So, you're banned from laughing. Banned I say, banned!"
Aion only laughed harder.
Luna only looked more upset before smiling and laughing herself.
"Even you're laughing!" Aion pointed out.
"Hehe, I'm totally not!"
"Yeah right. Are you too proud to admit that your ridiculous action is funny?"
"Absolutely not!"
"Whatever," Aion said with a smile.
"So, what exactly are you doing out here?" Luna asked.
"Uh, I kind of just woke up here."
Luna stared blankly at Aion's face for a few seconds before widening her eyes and saying, "Wait, you're serious?"
"Why would I lie about that?"
"I don't know. You seem all mysterious~"
For some reason Luna put extra emphasis on the last word, making it seem more important than it actually was.
"Yeah, crying like a child is so mysterious," Aion said, sarcastically.
"But I think it's cool! A young man wakes up in a shack without any recollection of getting there, and now they must make their way back home. Doesn't that sound so exhilarating?"
"What is exhilarating about that?"
"Eh…" Luna looked disappointed.
"If anything, it's terrifying. Just waking up in the middle of nowhere like this. I mean, imagine waking up away from home without knowing where you were. Isn't that really fear-inducing?"
"Hm…" Luna looked like she was in deep thought. "I don't think so. I think it'd be great! Imagine all the stuff you've never experienced before, all the places, the things, the people!"
"I'd rather just stay at home…"
"How boring."
"Sor—my bad for being so boring."
"Well, I imagine a place like this wouldn't be very great to wake up in anyway."
"Yeah…"
"Mhm! I guess there's the Winter Solstice…but…" Luna looked conflicted.
"Hm? Is something wrong with that day?" Aion asked.
"Ah, no, not at all. I just don't know if it'd be very fun for an outsider."
"Is that so?"
"I mean, on the outside, no, never mind." Luna shook the thought off. "I guess we should go to my hometown, Magna. I'm sure Mr. Dolion will be able to help you."
Aion didn't say anything in return. He only followed the cheerful Luna, letting his heart be washed over in a sense of freedom.
* * *
The events flowed scene by scene, like frames along a film strip. Playing one after another, stretching on through a familiar film, one that he'd seen before. It was a strange feeling. Experiencing something that felt so real once again was off, like he'd been playing on repeat. In a way, Aion supposed he was on a repeat of this stretch.
They had arrived at Magna. Aria had found them. Luna had left. Aria and him spoke. They arrived at Alexander's. And now, Aion was exiting the building.
This time around, Aion hadn't engaged with the chess game, so perhaps it was disingenuous to say it was on repeat. Instead, he'd simply lied and said he didn't know how to play. Alexander had looked disappointed, but there wasn't much to be done with someone who couldn't play the game.
In a way, Aion felt a little bad, but he really didn't want to deal with any of it. So he just set up what he needed to and left.
That feeling, of course, didn't leave because Luna was waiting for him there, and the sun was setting.
The sun was setting? Aion thought.
"Aion, how did it go?" Luna asked cheerfully.
Aion's balance seemed a bit off, or was it shaking? Like those old film players that were clearly aged playing a movie, it almost felt like the world jutted much like that.
Was he just drowning in some sort of sense of déjà vu?
What was wrong with him?
"It sounds like Alexander has it all covered," Aion replied with the same reply he'd given in the first loop.
"That's good. Will you be staying for the festival?"
Aion felt a little queasy, and he tried to put his hand over his mouth but stopped. For some reason the action was unpleasant.
"Aion?" Luna asked, concerned.
"I'm fine. I just feel a little off is all…"
"That's no good. Let's get you to where you'll be staying."
"Yeah…"
That sense of déjà vu was fading, probably because he'd strayed from the path of the original loop. It was strange, though. Despite Luna and his meeting starting differently, the exact same lines were used here.
"Aion, you seem like you're not doing well. Did Mr. Dolion do something? Or did he say something?"
"No, nothing of the sort. Alexander was nothing but pleasant…"
"That's good. Mr. Dolion and you seem like you'd get along well enough," Luna said as she looked forward with a smile.
Behind her back she entwined and untwined her fingers at seemingly random intervals. She was fidgeting, probably a habit.
Did she have such a habit? Aion thought.
He wasn't sure. Realistically he didn't know all that much about the girl next to him.
"Is something wrong?" Luna asked.
"No, nothing."
Luna smiled and moved a few paces in front of Aion before turning to face him, smiling brightly.
"If you ever need anything, I'm right here. Just remember that, okay?"
Aion felt his face slacken, and a small smile formed on his face unbeknownst to him.
"Yeah, thank you."
Luna nodded, and soon they arrived at the same house he'd stayed in the past two loops.
By now, the déjà vu was completely gone.
Like it'd never been there in the first place.