I don't even know where to start. That night just felt off. I couldn't stop thinking about Ethan that night, me knowing fully well he might never tell me goodnight again.
No matter how funny Mason's jokes were, no matter how many popcorns he threw at me, or how he said random things just so we could talk. I still wasn't in that mood, I couldn't laugh or say a word.
Mason was being his usual self, but I wasn't. Then he went off to tickle me, and I laughed—not because I wanted to but because Mason was trying to make everything normal, and I didn't just have the heart to ruin it.
My mind wasn't really with Mason. It was with him. I kept looking around, just to see him because I noticed the study light was up and he had to be in their library.
Mason always caught me staring, but he never thought much of it. 'You okay?' He asked. Yeah I am, I lied. 'You sure?' Because you've been quiet all night.
I just rolled my eyes and hugged his pillow. Maybe I'm just tired Mason.
He nodded, I knew he didn't believe it. Tired of what? Or thinking about something you don't want to say?
I looked at him, and for a second I wanted to tell him every single thing, but my throat felt tight and eyes became too blurry. I couldn't tell him that I'm confused, tired and frustrated, all because I just can't stop thinking about someone I'm not supposed to.
So, I just kept quiet. I should have said something, anything at all because my silence did not fool him.
We sat there for a while, not talking, just watching TV. Then, out of nowhere he said. "Do you ever think about us?"
Us? I asked. He nodded. Yeah, like you and me, but not just as friends. I understood perfectly well what he meant. I laughed— it was not funny, I think I just needed time to breathe.
At that moment, I knew I had fucked up. What had I done? This was Mason— sweet, funny Mason. The boy who gave me a shoulder to lean on when the silence at home made me cry. He should not be saying this to me.
Mason…? I'm serious, Lyra, he didn't let me say a word. I feel like there is something between us. Don't you feel it too?
I couldn't answer because I didn't know what to say. There was something between us, but not just the type he thought.
He kept moving closer, he took my hand, and I could feel my pulse jump. My heart was beating so fast I swear he could hear it. His face was closer to mine, and I knew what was about to happen. The worst part was that I didn't stop him.
He called my name, Lyra— so soft on his tongue. I was giving in, I lowered my lashes and my lips were so close to his.
His lips found mine, and for a second, I didn't know what to expect. At first, it was slow and careful, maybe he was afraid I'd pull away. Then it deepened, rushed. I guess he realised he was holding back, and I wanted the attention.
I moved closer until I was sitting across his lap. He held my waist tight, his touch made it impossible to breath. For a while, neither of us wanted to stop.
Then he slowed, before stopping. With all the confidence I had, I said.
"Go on, Ethan"
That's when everything shattered. We both went silent. His face changed, his whole body changed. He looked at me like he didn't even know me anymore.
I didn't mean… but the words wouldn't come out right.
He stood up, and moved around like he was trying to process what he just heard. "You said my dad's name."
I wanted to disappear, Mason, please, I—
He laughed, but it wasn't real. It sounded broken. "You have got to be kidding me. My dad?"
He was calm, he didn't yell, break anything, or even slam the door. He just looked at me one last time and said quietly, "You really picked the wrong Hale, Lyra."
And then he walked out.
I just sat there. The TV was still on, something stupid was playing, but all I could hear was my heartbeat. My hands were shaking and my mind kept replaying that moment.
I was in tears. Mason didn't even hear me out. I don't even know why I said his name. Maybe I wished it was Ethan with me, or maybe a part of me already knew it was wrong.
Either way, I ruined it.
Mason.
Me.
Everything.