It is summer, Diane is smiling as she waved at someone who smiled and waved back at her. The face disappeared with the turn of the carousel as her small hands gripped the painted pole of the horse. When the carousel spun back to the same direction, the smiling face was still there, this time the face is taking pictures of her with glee. Mum, Diane thought. It was mum. It had always been just the two of them against the world, her mother who she doesn't have to explain anything to yet she'd understand her perfectly. Diane had never asked about who her father was, it was a topic they never broached, she has never been one to ask too much out of life. When the merry-go-round finally stopped, Diane jumped down gleefully and ran into her mother's open arms. She picked her up and circled round as they laughed heartedly.
"Should we get some ice cream, it's getting quite hot"
"yeeeeh, I want!!" Diane shouted in happiness.
When her mother finally dropped her, Diane went running to the ice cream stand at the other end of the park.
"Watch your step, Diane!"
Her mother shouted over her back as she strutted along still urging her to be careful lest she falls. Diane finally reaches the stand and stopped while pointing to the ice cream, she turned to show her mum which flavor she wanted, but she wasn't there. Diane was sure she was walking behind her some minutes ago, how and where could have gone to.
"mum?" "mum!' She called out repeatedly, but heard no response. Dust was already settling by now and they should be heading home soon. Did she forget something back at the park and maybe went to find it? She couldn't have gone home without her? Did she? Several thoughts came running through her little mind, yet none made meaning.
Diane called out in despair. Suddenly everywhere was empty, the once crowded amusement park was eerily quite, not even an ant was visible. Diane turned to face the ice cream man who until a minute ago was handing an ice cream cone to a boy while smiling at her, only to meet an empty space. It finally dawned on her that something was wrong. She broke into a sprint back towards the park, maybe she has left her mother there, she is probably looking furiously for her too.
As she ran, so many thoughts filled her mind. What if something happened to her mother because she left her to come eat ice cream? Tears poured down her face that has now gotten hot from exasperation. She tripped and fell face flat, shattering her Barbie doll that she has had clutched to her chest all week-long. She was wailing now as she stood up, leaving the doll behind as she walked to the now deserted merry-go round that was initially filled to the brim with children.
"Mum!". Mum!" "Where are you?"
She desperately called out to the silence amidst wails and snorts, but there was no body, not a voice either. When she was exhausted, Diane sat on the floor willing herself to pretend it was all a dream. It has always been how she reacted to her nightmares, being still and letting it be what it was meant to be, a nightmare. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to wake up, as her breathing picked up and the air around her felt so thin Diane thought she could pass out from exasperation. She pressed her hands to her forehead, trying to force the thought to take shape.
This is not real, I'm dreaming. I need to wake up.
Diane's body jolted. She struggled with the sharp pain in her lungs as she gasped for air. A raging headache threatened to blind her with her every attempt at prying her eyes open. She felt the soft mattress under her, and tried to remember if she had changed her bed, as she had always wanted to. But even trying to think made the pain worse. It was a dream after all , she thought, but for the first in a long while Diane wasn't happy to wake from a nightmare. It dawned on her that it was the first time she dreamt of her mother since that tragic accident that took her mum away from her.
Her nose catches the faint but sweet smell of fragrances she couldn't quite place what it was, was it lavender? White jasmine? No. Cotton blossom, or a mix of lavender and vanilla maybe?. She sighed from the stress of having to think at all.
Suddenly a memory surged and she felt her heart tighten while her eyes welled up with tears. She had failed again. She thought of all the things she could have done differently as the memory of the old man crumpled beside her during those final moments hit her. Maybe if she was a little bit faster, if she had left home a little earlier than she did. Or if she had not hesitated even for a second, would he have lived?
When she could finally open her eyes, it met a quite room, so brightly unfamiliar that it hurt her eyes. The white curtains were embroidered with gold thread, everything about the way they were draped to the side of the windows screamed minimalist display of wealth. Diane can now smell the overpowering scent of herbs that had been perfectly hidden by the sweet fragrances. Maybe she's at the hospital, she thought. Never did she imagine she survived that fire, must be what people called "miracle". Something she never believed in.
She tried to turn to her side and take a closer look round her surrounding, and was met with a sharp pain across her ribs.
"I must have broken a few during the fall"
She muttered to herself as she struggled to push her self up, steadying her weight on one hand. The room was large yet nothing felt excessive. The frame of her bed was probably carved from a rare kind of pale wood, Diane wondered what kind of hospital uses such expensive feeling bed for patients.
"Definitely not the one I work at!"
At this, she laughed but immediately regretted this as she felt the cut on her lips.
"I should probably stay away from mirrors for a while". She muttered to herself as she imagined how bad she must look right now and the number of stitches she might have had to feel this level of pain.
Her eyes caught the vase of fresh flowers arranged with care on the table close to her bed. She stretched her hands to touch them, but even that gesture shot a pain through her. She looked at them longingly instead, realizing some of the fragrances she perceived earlier came from it. Glancing through, she saw how neat and calm it all looked, like a place belonging to someone who was in control of her life, there is no how it is a hospital room. Zero emergency beeps, or tons of nurses trotting to and fro the corridors, not even the usual sound of sirens from ambulances that she was accustomed to. This place was contrastingly too quiet.
Just then she heard soft footsteps and muffled voices outside the door. Diane had only a few seconds to decide to either pretend to still be unconscious or not. Before she could will her bruised body to react, two women stepped inside the room, dressed in the most medieval dresses Diane has ever seen, wait, what? Is she an actor now maybe? Or are they at a cosplay event, because nothing else could explain the hair tied back in a knot in a very old but cute way. The dresses clinched at the waist in a corset form and flowed a little like ball gowns.
The first lady was a girl, probably around Diane's age, maybe slightly younger. Her face was pale in a very beautiful way, clean of any blemish. Diane suddenly felt a pang of jealousy, having always suffered from severe acne all her teenage years with her acne scars to show for it. The moment the clear skinned girl saw Diane, her eyes widened and was lit with excitement.
"Milady! You're awake!" she gasped, as she rushed forward so quickly that Diane feared she would trip.
"Do you know how worried I was, you would not wake up after days!"
"I was so scared, thinking we lost you!" She chimed continuously, almost too loud for the once silent room. She hovered closer to a stunned Diane, helping her lie on her back.
The second women entered behind her wearing a fitted uniform, neat in a very crisp way. Unlike the girl, she had a straight posture and an expression that expressed worry in a calm way. She gave Diane a long look, then to the maid and back to Diane again, like she was registering her displeasure .
"No sudden movement, miss". With a tone more professional now than kind. A tone Diane knew well enough. "Lady Athea is still recovering from…it all". "Do you mind not shaking her up with so many words?" She said while giving the younger woman a quick stare.
Lady Athea.
Diane blinked.
The young girl nodded frantically. "Yes milady, don't strain yourself. You gave us all quite the fright!" Lord Dravon nearly…"
"Mira," the older woman cut in. it was with a quite voice , but the younger woman went quite. Mira, yes, I know her name now.
Diane's throat felt dry. She tried to speak, but it hurts. "I think there's been a misunderstanding," she said as audibly as possible. "My name is…"
The older woman walked briskly to her side and took a closer look, examining her eyes, felt her pulse and her breathing with practiced movements. Things that felt familiar to Diane. She must be a physician of some sort, with methods so old, definitely not a licensed doctor, Diane thought.
"This happens," the physician said. "Severe shock can affect memory".
She said it so flatly, with zero curiosity that almost made Diane laugh, only if her lungs weren't too constricted. She felt a wave wash over her and the only thing she wanted to do was sleep. Maybe it was just another of those nightmares, she decided it was for the better…sleeping through it all. It has to be a dream, but even if it was not, she would deal with it later, not now. Not today. She silently proclaimed as she drifted somewhere, a place very far away from her present surrounding.