What do i do with my life?
People have ideas, dreams, passions, ideals, and goals.
They achieve great heights by breaking the limits of human understand and expanding our knowledge of the world.
But the world we live in is strange.
I havent really thought about it, or im just making everything up about the world i know myself so that i could find that little comfort inside my head.
But what about thoughts.
Why do we even have them.
I know its dumb to even question them and that its simply a natural result of our brains function but i'm just curious.
Or to be honest i just question if my sanity or morals are the ones im seeking and blame it on something i cant change.
'People are born like that'
I was made like this.
The theory of our souls reaincarnating might be true too.
If people just had a new soul all the time then they should act the same.
The enviroment they live in would be normal for them, there would be no crimes, murder, wars.
People have greed and envy for that.
What am i even thinking about now.
Maybe about how nausea is washing over me as im riding in the car, i know the phone makes it worse but i just cant help it.
Im addicted to the little device that ruined my life and will keep on doing so.
Its already quite cold outside, the winter should be coming soon.
I wonder if a war is going to finally start.
I'm not sure if im going to really like it though from a perspective of civilian.
If i was a soldier then i wouldn't really mind participating in war, the blood and death that it brings wouldn't really bother me.
My daily life would only change slightly.
Am i trying to be cool or smart now? Maybe psychological?
I wouldn't really call myself that.
My legs kind of hurt from sitting all the time so im going to take a walk.
.
There were people gathering some berries, or i just don't know the name of activity they did.
I guess being holed up in your room most of your life doesn't help alot.
Theres still wheat on the fields for some reason, i wonder why they didn't cut it yet.
Birds annoy me a little, they poo everywhere on the ground and its just disgusting me, why doesn't anyone clean the streets?
Well, i guess its not like they will get paid.
I should probably think about where my future goes or i will be the one cleaning it up with the bottom of my dirty clothes as i lay on the streets homeless.
Being homeless doesn't seem too bad either.
There was one guy that lived in a secluded house.
People thought well about him, gave money too.
The talk of the town!
Died in a fire after lighting a cigarette and falling asleep due to alcohol.
I havent gotten a burn my whole life.
Just imagining how it would feel doesn't really seem enough.
My mom and sisters got burned at least once so i asked them but it didn't look like they liked to talk about the sensation, just 'painfull'.
Looked icky.
I wish i got burned too, i just don't want it to be on purpose because im scared of hurting myself.
I havent really got injured much in my life.
Except a big scar going across my leg but it was just a cut so it doesn't matter.
Although i feel it sometimes stinging still.
There was one time when i borrowed my friends electric scooter.
Fancy thing to be fair.
It was so fast and cool, the feeling of my hair just fluterring in the wind and a sting in my eyes.
My movements were a little too stiff though and i squezzed the handle that slows down too hard.
I think i flew forward around 8 meters before landing face flat on concrete.
Weirdly enough my face which hit it wasn't injured at all, just my knees.
The skin got completely peeles off and i could feel my own flesh as i touched it.
For a month i wasn't able to walk without it opening up and starting to bleed.
Maybe because i kept scratching it and peeling off the new layers of skin and oil or whatever the yellow transparent liquid it was coming out.
Ew right? Nah you probably had worse.
Why am i even writing about it.
Maybe its trauma dumping or something.
I wouldn't really call it trauma though, just some thoughts i have that i don't want to share with people i know.
But its okay with you.
You cant do anything to me and i cant do anything to you.
That's the beauty of internet.
Let's not count the suicide victims though.
Hah.