was staring dreamily at my bat. Ahhh, the weapon of the gods. World-destroyer! Hero-annihilator! Grant me your immense power! Together, we shall rule the galaxy! The supreme rulers!
With that, I hoisted the bat onto my shoulder. And thus began my journey to take over the universe. My greatness? Check. My mighty bat? Check. A beautiful girl on the team? Check. A useless man acting suspiciously? Check!
It was such a moving moment with my beloved, even… inspiring!
But my fantasies were abruptly interrupted by laughter behind me.
I scowled. They're laughing at me??! They'll pay!
I turned angrily to see who was laughing. There was Amy, barely holding back her laughter, covering her mouth.
"Hmm~ your choice, how do I put it… is… really unique," Amy said cheerfully.
The man next to her wasn't faring much better. He tried all the time to keep a "serious man" expression, yet he couldn't hide the amused smile tugging at his lips.
"Trying to act all serious and straight now, you bastard?!" I spat out with disdain.
Amy laughed at her poor companion. It was the first time she'd seen him confused and frustrated like this. It was kind of fun to see the usually composed, stoic guy so embarrassed.
As for the boy—well, he just froze, utterly flustered. For him, he hadn't done anything to anger the person in front of him. He'd only taken the extended hand asking for help. This was the first time he'd encountered someone reacting this way. Did she actually hit her head somewhere?! No sane person would act like this!
"Enough nonsense. We need to move," the man said with annoyance, redirecting the conversation.
Amy wiped the tears from her eyes and regained her composure. "Okay, Silus, cut it out with that stupid face and let's get out of here." She nudged Silus playfully, making him even more irritated.
Silus shrugged, and I knew exactly what that meant. Ugh… I've dealt with many annoying people in my life and I know exactly what that gesture said. Probably something like: Oh, I'll let it slide this time, so you can continue acting childish and dumb because I don't care.
Ugh… I hate that type of person. Always pretending to be the reasonable, correct side while everyone else is completely insane. Well, my own personality isn't helping improve this picture.
I'd let it slide this time because we were in a hurry! But I'd crush his damn face the moment we got out, mark my words!
"Follow me," Silus said.
I looked at Amy, who smiled and said, "Come on, follow us. We don't have much time."
I nodded and followed Silus. We quickly left the corridor.
White metal, blueprints, and transparent electric circuits everywhere. Everything screamed, "Look at me! I'm way too advanced for your tiny brain!"
And then the view hit me.
"Wow," I breathed in awe from the window. Skyscrapers, massive towers, and all sorts of bizarre buildings spread out everywhere. Some even had flying structures orbiting them!
'Ahhh, I want to go there!' I scowled and said out loud.
Amy smiled nervously and said, "Y-You'll see something even cooler when we get out! We're taking a spaceship! Just follow us! Quick!"
"A spaceship! Awesome! We need to go right now!" I grinned and chased after them like lightning.
"Get ready!" I ran alongside Amy, following Silus through the corridor until he suddenly stopped and drew his sword into a combat stance.
Amy stepped back and muttered some strange words.
Me? I froze in the middle, staring at the horror in front of us: a creature seemingly painted in shadows, humanoid in shape but two meters tall, with hands sprouting from every part of its body—back, neck, shoulders—and bloody appendages at the base of each arm, as if forced to be part of this being. There were three of them, each grotesquely deformed, sometimes with extra mouths, noses, even ears.
I swallowed and stepped shakily beside Silus, gripping my bat with trembling hands as if it could give me any kind of protection.
"If you're scared, you can step aside and relax. We can handle this… somewhat," Silus said calmly, his eyes sharp.
"Yes, what Silus says is true," Amy nodded in agreement.
My pulse raced.
'As if I'm going to chicken out in the middle of a fight! Hmph! No way! It'd be humiliating to back down when I said that I can handle myself! I won't hide while a girl is protecting me! Especially with that… idiot!'
'I'm the best! I'm Joseph!' And with that, my hands stopped trembling. I gripped the bat with determination, my eyes blazing with resolve. I would never back down. For the spaceship! For Gundam!
Silus scanned the battlefield like one of those obsessed strategists.
"Our numbers are lower, so we're on the defensive," he explained our situation.
Silus and I in the front, with Amy providing magical support from behind—a perfect combination. But I could tell he said that loud enough for me specifically, since I was the outsider.
We refocused on the monsters, anticipating any attack. And, as far as I could tell, that was the right choice.
They had no eyes, but I could swear they were watching us. Their movements were weird, mechanical, as if they were malfunctioning machines—every action stiff, clunky, with creaks and vibrations. It was… unnerving to see and hear.
Suddenly, one of the monsters screamed, shattering eardrums, and lunged at us.
To be precise, two charged at Silus and one at me. Maybe their instincts told them Silus was the bigger threat.
Silus fought the two monsters with elegance using his laser sword…
Wait, what?! A laser sword?!
I should have known! That's why the bastard was so tense!! He was hiding his precious weapon!
Slash!!
With a single strike, Silus severed the limbs of one monster…
At the same time, Amy cast her spells whenever she had a chance. In short, Silus created openings for Amy, and Amy did the same for him. Perfect teamwork.
And me?
"Eeeek!"
My legendary bat in one hand… my mother's blessing in the other (maybe?).
I knew nothing about fighting.
…Wait! I know!
I once watched a baseball game online!
Yes! This is it!
The monster is the ball… and I'm the batter!
I swung the bat with all my might — and hit!
Thwack!
"!!"
"Impossible!!"
The bat flew from my hands.
Me: "...."
Monster: "...."
"Um… sorry, Mr. Meat Grinder, could we… play that again?"
The monster didn't wait a second — and its clawed hands came down on my precious face.
'Ahh… I can see my life flashing before my eyes… maybe death isn't so bad after all.'
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