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Chapter 5 - Chapter 5: Nen Banana Theory (or How I Accidentally Invented Monkey Enlightenment)

Chapter 5: Nen Banana Theory (or How I Accidentally Invented Monkey Enlightenment)

If there's one thing I've learned since waking up in this cursed sandbox, it's that evolution isn't about survival — it's about style. You can survive all you want, but if you don't look good doing it, the world won't remember you. That's why I was currently sitting cross-legged on a tree branch, tail swaying like a metronome, surrounded by thirty empty banana peels.

"Okay," I muttered, rubbing my temples. "Bananas are rich in potassium. Potassium conducts electricity. Electricity is aura. Aura is Nen. Therefore—"

The System's voice cut in before I could finish my genius revelation.

> [SYSTEM: That's not how biology or Nen works.]

"Shut up, Siri of the Jungle," I hissed. "I'm trying to ascend here."

> [SYSTEM: You are trying to weaponize fruit.]

[SYSTEM: Again.]

I tossed a banana peel at the holographic words hovering in my head. They didn't vanish. Of course they didn't. They never do.

You'd think being a reincarnated human with cosmic comprehension would make life easier. Wrong. Having human intelligence in a monkey body is like having Einstein's brain inside a toddler hopped up on caffeine and chaos. I can calculate aura flow, but I still chase shiny rocks. I can theorize Zetsu efficiency, but my tail twitches when someone peels an orange.

Still, I'd been making progress. My "Instant Mastery" wasn't omniscient — it was emotional. It wanted understanding, not data. So I started experimenting. Watching, feeling, adapting.

I'd seen a player use Ten the other day — a middle-aged guy with a terrible mustache and worse Nen control. His aura wobbled around him like jelly, but when I focused, I felt it. The weight. The calm. The boundary between skin and world.

And then something clicked.

My fur began to tingle. My breath slowed. The wind brushing my fur wasn't just air — it was energy. Pressure. Life.

> [SYSTEM: Nen alignment detected.]

[SYSTEM: Category – Enhancement: 23%. Transmutation: 77%.]

"Hah. Of course I'm a Transmuter. Even my DNA refuses to follow rules."

I grinned, tail curling in amusement. So this was my path — not brute force, not reinforcement, but mutation. If I could transmute aura like lightning, maybe I could make it banana-shaped.

"Banana × Nen × Mastery… sounds like a bestseller already."

> [SYSTEM: Please stop naming your attacks before you invent them.]

But there was more. Something deeper. Hunters called beasts "instinctive" — as if instinct was inferior to intelligence. But instinct was just compressed comprehension. Millennia of mastery stored in blood and bone.

I wanted to merge the two — human strategy and beast instinct. Not become a fake human or a clever monkey, but something new.

A Nen Beast who thought like a philosopher and fought like nature itself.

The forest around me pulsed with quiet energy. Every leaf, every ripple of aura, felt alive. This was Greed Island — a place built by geniuses who treated reality like a playground. And I was going to beat them at their own game.

But first, I needed food.

A rustle nearby snapped my attention. A player — female, maybe sixteen, wearing beginner's armor — stumbled through the undergrowth with a "Slaughter Ant" card in her hand. Her aura was weak, unfocused.

"System," I whispered. "Target lock."

> [SYSTEM: Are you sure you want to attack a human? You still owe me a banana debt from last time.]

"I'm not attacking," I said, crouching low. "I'm studying."

The girl crouched near a trap, aura flaring slightly. I felt it — the rhythm of her Ren, the pulse of her fear. I mimicked it. My aura expanded, wild and unfocused, but alive.

> [SYSTEM: New technique forming: Primal Ren.]

My fur bristled. My muscles felt like fire and thunder wrapped together.

The girl froze. "What the—?!"

Too late. I dropped from the branch like divine karma and landed in front of her.

She screamed. I screamed. It was a bonding moment, really.

Then I pointed at her banana pouch. "Give. Banana."

She blinked. "...what?"

> [SYSTEM: Excellent diplomacy.]

"BANANA!" I yelled louder, pounding my chest. "YELLOW LIFE STICK!"

She dropped two bananas and sprinted for her life.

I stared at the fruits in my hands, then sighed. "I'm starting to see why humans think we're dangerous."

> [SYSTEM: You are dangerous. You just don't look threatening because your face resembles a rejected plush toy.]

I ignored it and bit into the banana, chewing thoughtfully. "So, I can use Ren. That's step one. Next comes shaping it. Electricity? Vibration? Maybe aroma control?"

> [SYSTEM: Are you trying to weaponize your smell?]

"Don't judge me. Gon's dad invented an entire pocket dimension for a game. I can at least make deodorant aura."

For a moment, the forest was silent except for the sound of my tail swishing and distant player shouts. Then I looked up at the sun filtering through the leaves and felt something strange.

Peace.

Not the peace of stillness, but the peace of becoming. Every movement, every breath — a lesson. Every failure, a punchline.

> [SYSTEM: Emotional state: Harmonious curiosity. Aura flow efficiency: +18%.]

"Heh. Guess I'm finally syncing with this body."

> [SYSTEM: Progression milestone reached.]

[SYSTEM: Skill unlocked – Instinctive Comprehension: enhances understanding when acting on impulse.]

"Oh, that's dangerous," I grinned. "You're basically telling me to trust my inner monkey."

> [SYSTEM: Warning: inner monkey is statistically dumber than your human half.]

"Maybe. But he's having more fun."

And for the first time since waking up in this digital wilderness, I felt it — not fear, not confusion — but belonging.

This wasn't a punishment or accident. It was evolution, one banana at a time.

Next stop: mastering Hatsu.

And maybe... stealing someone's sandwich.

---

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"Monkey invents Nen-based deodorant. Chaos ensues. Someone cries. Possibly me.."

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