Chapter 3: Ambush
"You carry the packs, I'll lead the horse, walking on the little country path..."
Since departing from the Uzumaki compound, no one in the procession had spoken.
Seeing the atmosphere was a bit awkward, Masahiko couldn't help but start humming a medley of songs. However, this just seemed to make the atmosphere even more awkward.
Tobirama finally couldn't take it and interrupted him, stiffly changing the subject. "Uncle from the Uzumaki clan, you should possess the Uzumaki's special sensory abilities, right? Pay more attention to our surroundings. The Senju have many enemies, and it's possible someone is lying in ambush."
"I am Mito's Great-Uncle. By that seniority, you should also call me Great-Uncle. What's this 'Uncle' business? Are you trying to take advantage of Mito?" Masahiko decisively tried to pull rank.
Tobirama's mouth twitched. "Great... Uncle. I must trouble you to pay attention."
"I feel like you put a little too much emphasis on the 'Second' part of that. [TN: His title is 'Second Great-Uncle'.] Forget it, forget it. I won't bicker with a junior like you. If anyone appears within a one-kilometer radius, I'll let you know," Masahiko replied.
"Won't bicker with a junior like you." That sentence echoed in Tobirama's mind. He didn't reply. Masahiko had successfully killed the conversation...
After a while, Masahiko started humming another song: "Behold the thundering hooves, trampling ten thousand miles of rivers and mountains... I really can live for another 500 years..."
Mito, from inside the palanquin, couldn't help but speak up. "Great-Uncle, I feel you're a little different today than usual. Did something happy happen?"
Masahiko replied, "Didn't I just sing it? I can live for another 500 years! Isn't that worth being happy about?"
Aside from Masahiko, all 17 other people present rolled their eyes. The conversation was dead again...
The group once again fell into an awkward silence. They'd rather he just stop saying incomprehensible things and hurry on.
Before they knew it, they had already passed the halfway point of their journey. The team was currently passing through a valley.
"This place is perfect for an ambush. Hey, Tobirama, this place isn't called 'Dead Man's Gulch' or something, is it? Am I destined to die here?" Masahiko finally couldn't stand the quiet atmosphere and proactively told a bad joke.
Unfortunately, in the Naruto world, no one understood the reference. Tobirama simply replied, "If that's the case, Great-Uncle, please be extra careful." He said it with such a straight face that Masahiko was actually left speechless...
"There really is an ambush. But why wouldn't they pin us inside the valley? They chose to ambush us at the exit." Just as they were about to leave the valley, Masahiko stopped Tobirama.
Tobirama immediately tensed. "Prepare for battle!" He knew that anyone who dared to attack a procession like theirs was not to be trifled with.
"Wait, this chakra..." Masahiko muttered. "You guys go meet them. I'll protect Mito." As he spoke, he ducked behind the palanquin.
Tobirama was momentarily speechless. He signaled the others to be cautious and slowly walked out of the valley, only to see seven people standing on the right side of the road, making no effort to hide. Two stood in front, five behind. A familiar voice called out, "It's been a long time, Tobirama."
"Uchiha Izuna... and Madara!" Tobirama's eyes swept over the group, discovering that besides Izuna and Madara, the other five were all Peak Jonin.
'This is bad. Big brother isn't here. There's no way we can stop Madara,' Tobirama thought to himself. He spoke aloud, "Madara, you and your brother aren't in your clan compound celebrating the New Year. What are you doing in such a desolate place?"
"I'm here to congratulate Hashirama on his wedding!" Madara said.
Tobirama thought, 'I'd be a fool to believe you,' but for a moment, he didn't know whether to fight or flee.
"Thanks for your congratulations, Madara."
Just then, a familiar voice came from behind the palanquin. Staring at the person who walked out, Tobirama's eyes went wide. "Big brother! What are you doing here!"
"If I didn't follow along, how could I be at ease marrying my beautiful bride and reaching the pinnacle of my life... my foolish little brother?" "Hashirama" whispered to Tobirama.
Hearing this familiar-yet-unfamiliar tone, Tobirama's mouth, which was already on the verge of paralysis from all the twitching, almost gave out...
"Impossible! You should be in the Senju compound preparing for the wedding! How can you be here?!" Izuna shouted, his three-tomoe Sharingan spinning as he searched for a flaw.
Madara also activated his three-tomoe Sharingan but found no openings. Yet, having been Hashirama's rival and friend for so many years, he felt that something about this Hashirama was not quite right.
Thinking of this, his hands flew through seals: "Fire Release: Great Fire Annihilation!" A massive wave of fire rushed toward Tobirama's side.
"Hashirama" also formed seals. "Wood Release: Wood Formation Wall!" A wall of wood rose to block the roaring flames.
"Madara, thanks for the fireworks! Haha!"
"Since the wedding gift has been delivered, let's go, Izuna!" Madara slowly closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they had returned to normal.
"Yes, big brother!" Izuna replied, clearly reluctant.
After a while, the fake Hashirama transformed back into Masahiko. "They're long gone. They've left my sensory range."
"It really was you, Great... Great-Uncle! How can you possibly use Wood Release?!" Tobirama couldn't help but ask.
"It wasn't Wood Release. I just used Earth Release: Earth-Style Wall, and applied the Transformation Jutsu to the wall itself. This is a little trick I only got after my Transformation Jutsu hit LV10. Want to learn? I'll teach you! Not for 998 Ryo, but for the low, low price of just 9.8 Ryo, this amazing technique can be yours!"
Tobirama fell silent again, probably because he didn't understand that reference either...
"Since the crisis is resolved, let's continue on our way," Tobirama said after a moment.
"Oh dear, oh dear. This is troublesome. Why are they back again?" Masahiko muttered.
It was the same familiar scene. In the exact same formation as before, the seven Uchiha were standing silently in front of the group.
"I just remembered, Hashirama. Since you're here, let's have a fight. It's a good chance to test my new jutsu! ...Er, Hashirama? Where'd he go?" Madara called out.
The scene became extremely awkward. After a long moment, Masahiko spoke up: "Thank you for your congratulations... again, Madara."
Uchiha Madara experienced the most awkward moment of his entire life. He mechanically turned his head. "That was you just now? Old man! Was that the Transformation Jutsu? How could it deceive my Sharingan?!"
"At this point, you're supposed to say this, Madara: 'Among all the opponents I've fought, your Transformation Jutsu is the strongest. In the field of Transformation Jutsu, no one is more skilled than you. I, Madara, declare you the strongest!'" Masahiko continued.
Madara felt he had just experienced an even more awkward moment. He lost his patience and his hands began to form seals. But out of the corner of his eye, he saw a shuriken approaching from an impossible angle. He was forced to stop his seals, tilting his head to dodge. As he looked up, two more shuriken appeared—one aimed exactly where his head was now, and the other sealing off his retreat. He could only raise his arm and block them with his gauntlet.
"My Shuriken Jutsu is also maxed out at LV10, you know," Masahiko said.
"Madara, basic techniques like the Academy Three and shuriken... they all give you a little surprise when you max them out. My Transformation Jutsu could disguise an Earth-Style Wall as Wood Release."
"So, can you guess what 'surprise' my Shuriken Jutsu has?"