As an ordinary otaku, Zhang Lan was quite content with his current situation; at least he rarely complained.
He worked happily during the day, and after work, he transformed into an online writer, diligently typing away and stockpiling chapters for his readers.
Although he wasn't famous yet, he firmly believed he would be in the future.
But right now, he was a little annoyed.
His phone popped up a page, flashing blue and red mosaics, with the title: "Naruto World Transmigration Journey."
That wasn't the main point; the main point was that the [YES] button on the page was flashing wildly, and a barrage of five-cent special effects kept flying across the screen: "Click to enter, take you through."
Transmigrate my ass!
These programmers are getting more and more shameless!
He grumbled inwardly, intending to click the [NO] button, but his finger hovered in the air for a long time, not dropping.
Damn it, did the programmer eat the [NO] button?
What the hell... forcing a good person into prostitution?
I refuse to accept this!
Rubbing his eyes, he pressed his face closer to the screen, his eyes wide open.
Finally, in the bottom right corner of the window, he found a super tiny 'X' button, its blue frame and red background dim and perfectly blended with the background.
You think you can fool your grandpa, little punk?
With a deep sense of triumph, he unhesitatingly clicked the 'X' button to close the page.
The screen flashed black, vibrated a few times inexplicably, then lit up again, and a line of black text on a white background appeared.
*-*-*-*-*
Do you want to understand the meaning of life? Do you want to—live more excitingly?
[YES] / [YES]
*-*-*-*-*
This is a cunning boy, damn it!
With a helpless admiration for the game programmers, Zhang Lan pressed down hard on one of the [YES] buttons with his thumb.
Something terrifying happened.
His... his phone interface... turned into... a flashing battery.
This was the phone's charging interface.
"How boring, someone actually plays such tricks?"
He complained, but didn't notice that his phone's battery, which was at 0%, instantly charged to 100%, and the charging program showed no sign of stopping, the consequence being...
"Bang!"
The phone exploded, and Zhang Lan, being the closest, was naturally the first victim. In the instant he lost consciousness, he had only one thought—
"Does the Samsung company also have a military factory that specializes in producing bombs?"
The next day, Zhang Lan became famous as he wished, making headlines in major newspapers, with content as follows—
[Man in XM causes explosion by charging Samsung phone]
[Samsung phone explosion power reaches new heights]
[Samsung phone, the 'fighter jet' among phones]
Of course, Zhang Lan had no chance to see any of this, nor did he have time to care about it now.
He found that he still had some consciousness, but it might have been a concussion, because he felt a voice constantly speaking in his mind.
"Beep, host detected, conditions met. System authentication in progress... System authentication complete."
"Beep, launching one-time transmigration system, target: Naruto."
"Beep, encountered unknown obstacle, new route planning in progress. New route planning complete."
"Beep, encountered unknown obstacle, new route planning in progress. New route planning complete."
"Beep, encountered unknown obstacle, new route planning in progress. System energy insufficient, not enough to log into 'Naruto' world."
"Beep, emergency system mechanism activated, randomly selecting target world."
"Beep, target confirmed—'Marvel'."
"Beep, arrived at Marvel, one-time transmigration system self-destructing... Self-destruction complete. Please issue new commands, host."
At first, he thought he had a concussion, but hearing the latter part, he realized something was wrong. Baidu said concussions only cause a "buzzing" sound, not coherent paragraphs of text. At this point, he realized a problem—
Could Baidu be wrong?
After a chaotic stream of thoughts, caused by the prolonged "traffic jam" in his mind, he felt extremely tired and was about to fall asleep when a gust of cold wind blew, making his body, which had just regained sensation, shiver and shake. A musty smell wafted into his nose.
His sleepiness vanished instantly.
"So cold, so stinky."
He tiredly opened his eyes, wanting to stand up, but found that his body wouldn't obey his commands, or rather, his body couldn't complete the instructions given by his brain.
He blinked, then looked down at his body, a simple action that usually required no effort, but now felt like it took all his strength, extremely strenuous.
Zhang Lan saw his naked body, tiny limbs, and his undeveloped 'little Zhang Lan'.
"What's going on? How did I turn into a baby, and a naked one at that?" His mind was completely blank at this moment.
After a long period of calming down, he gradually accepted the fact. He looked around and realized the source of the stench that had been assaulting his nose.
The smell of a dumpster, naturally, wouldn't be pleasant.
"What the hell is this? Could it be the 'system' I just heard about that's causing trouble?" He guessed wildly.
"Beep, the host's current situation is indeed caused by the system." A plain, unremarkable voice echoed in his mind.
"Who? Who's talking? What system?" Zhang Lan was startled.
"Beep, hello host, the system is answering your question."
"System? What system? Where are you from? Where are you going? How many people in your family? How many fields do you have at home? Huh?"
"Beep, the full name of the system is 'Naruto World Transmigration Tour System', abbreviated as System. It originated from the place where the system was created. The original target was the 'Naruto World', but due to insufficient energy, it is currently stranded in 'Marvel'. The system has no home, so it has no family or fields."
"Naruto World Transmigration Tour System? Could it be? Holy crap, System, I've transmigrated, haven't I? And to Marvel?" Zhang Lan was slow to realize this.
"Beep, yes, the host is currently in the world of Marvel."
"Let me digest this." Zhang Lan's mind was a bit chaotic; he needed to calm down.
After a long while, though his thoughts were still muddled, the biting cold wind reminded him that there were more important matters at hand.
"System, why am I a naked baby in a trash can?" Zhang Lan needed to understand his situation.
"Beep, during transmigration, the system encountered unknown obstacles multiple times. After multiple redirections, the stored energy was insufficient to reach 'Naruto', so it randomly selected the 'Marvel' world. Currently, only 1 energy point remains."
"Encountered obstacles multiple times? Multiple redirections? Insufficient stored energy? You mean you ran out of gas after getting stuck in traffic and changing routes? If you're out of energy, then recharge! Does it take gasoline?" Zhang Lan was getting a little frantic.
"Beep, warning, system energy is insufficient and will shut down. Emergency measures are being adopted."
"Beep, given that the host is too weak, a Newbie Gift Pack (novice gift package) is being issued. Issuing in progress... Novice gift package issued."
"Beep, novice mission released."
*-*-*-*-*
Efforts Before Adulthood: Please recharge the system's energy before the host reaches the legal age of adulthood to meet the system's startup conditions.
—Current Completion: 0 / 100
—Mission Reward: Adulthood Gift Package * 1
*-*-*-*-*
"Beep, system energy depleted, shutting down system. Good luck, host, live happily."
"Beep, system has shut down."
What the hell?
Did the system just crash?
Before he could complain, a flood of information poured into his mind: basic hand seals for ninjutsu, applications of chakra, the sequence of hand seals for the Three Body Technique, and so on.
A baby's body was already fragile, and having shivered in the cold wind for so long, he was already exhausted. This influx of information into his mind made him even more mentally fatigued. His somewhat numb body was suddenly hit by an immense pain, and Zhang Lan, without any resistance, fainted.
When he woke up again, he didn't know how long it had been, but thankfully, he was no longer in a trash can. Instead, he was clean and in a baby's cradle.
Seeing no one around, Zhang Lan didn't fuss. After silently calling out to the system several times to no avail, he could only begin to sort through the so-called novice gift package.
*-*-*-*-*
Novice Gift Package contents:
Chakra Extraction Technique * 1
Substitution Jutsu * 1
Transformation Jutsu * 1
Clone Jutsu * 1
Physical Constitution Remodeling * 1
*-*-*-*-*
Simply put, it was one Chakra Extraction Technique, one Three Body Technique, and one inexplicable Physical Constitution Remodeling. He figured this was the source of the immense pain he felt before losing consciousness. Remodeling, after all, sounded like dissecting a lab rat.
Excluding this inexplicable Physical Constitution Remodeling, Zhang Lan could only describe his evaluation of this novice gift package with two words—
—"So damn stingy!!!"
Other novel protagonists get Sharingan, Saint Seiya bloodlines, Devil Fruits, and so on, as soon as they transmigrate. Why does he only get such basic stuff?
"I'm probably the poorest transmigrator in history, right?" Zhang Lan thought to himself.
Suddenly, Zhang Lan's expression tightened, and he was no longer quiet. Instead, he started shouting loudly, "Ah, ah, ah!" There was nothing else he could do; his vocal cords hadn't developed yet, so this was the only way to attract someone.
With a rush of hurried footsteps, a young white woman appeared in Zhang Lan's sight. She comforted Zhang Lan in English, awkwardly picking him up. Zhang Lan, however, anxiously patted the white woman, his "Ah, ah, ah, ah" becoming even more urgent.
Just as the white woman was puzzled, she suddenly felt a warmth on her chest, and at the same time, Zhang Lan in her arms stopped all movements, with an expression of utter despair—
She wasn't sure if she had seen correctly, after all, how could a newborn baby know what despair meant?
A normal baby certainly wouldn't, but Zhang Lan at this moment did, because... he had just peed his pants!
How embarrassing! He didn't know how many years it had been since he was weaned, and now he was experiencing peeing his pants again.
While in despair, Zhang Lan suddenly started fussing again, because he discovered a problem even more serious than wetting the bed—
He felt like he needed to poop!
New author, new book. The first fifty chapters have many flaws, and the rhythm only really gets grasped after a hundred chapters. If you're not satisfied, please quietly drop the book. Typing is tiring for you, and it annoys Xiao Lan, affecting my writing. Deleting comments is also troublesome.
Thank you for your cooperation.