I don't know how it's even physically possible for shit to get even better for The Re4lDe4l (and clearly I'm a dumbass because EVERY time I think things can't get worse, they inevitably do.) and even more detrimental to reality, but yet it keeps on happening. And these next few days were no fucking joke when it came to that bullshit. I fucking feel icycol saying "_________ Just Got Even Crazier" with this shit happening.
First, let's talk about advertising Cleveland was doing. So, if you haven't been living under a rock, by now, you'll know that some dumbfuck by the name of Cleveland decided to advertise his little gang known as The Re4lDe4l. And he apparently did that on the Wish.com version of PornHub. And apparently, by some extreme defiance of logic and reason, this little advertising thingy worked.
They somehow got more living, breathing humans to be members. They include:
Bradley (he thinks DraftKings is a branch of the US military, which should tell you everything you need to know about this guy)
Jed and Jeb (twins who speak in coughs, arm sweat, and various sharts)
Wow, these people are so accomplished they invented a language (sarcasm if you're braindead enough to think I'm actually supporting this shit)
Davis (once tried to 'cure' his pet slug's alleged 'brainfreeze' by microwaving it)
Weeb (notorious for doing push-ups (if you know, you know) on anime body pillows at every chance, hence the name Weeb)
Bert (he thinks Brad Pitt is, I quote "a fancy name for cherry pits)
He was exposed in 4K by A Totally Reliable News Source for explaining this theory to a bunch of little kids)
And last but certainly not least (they're are equally braindead)...
Lewis (he once took a stray dog to his alleyway and flung it from the seat of a swivel chair by slamming it down, A Totally Reliable News Source reporter Stacy Abcdey alleges)
And just when you thought shit couldn't get worse, FBI Director Christopher Wray announced he was laying off half of his agents, that is to put it nicely. His actual statement was "All the bums I sent to the gulag are little pussies, so it's no question that it's all 'unhonorable discharges'. Rumors were swirling and many people claimed that these agents were laid off either for refusing to sacrifice their mental state for the greater good and everyone else's sanity to be cleansed, or they were busted considering The Re4lDe4l to resemble an actual threat for even a fraction of a millisecond. I can understand the first reason, but the threat one? Come the fuck on. Of course a group dedicated to obliterate all braincells in sight would be considered a threat, especially to sanity and the trend of evolution by most normal people.
And when reality could not have been bitch-slapped harder, some Re4lDe4l fanatic decided he'd (now identified as 'The Radical') be so fucking tough by blending a pound of frozen bleach and a pound of hand sanitizer and force-feed it to the remaining FBI agents as 'water'. End results?
4 agents legally declared braindead
12 agents hospitalized
7 addicted to the mix
3 agents having permanent food poisoning
But, surely, SURELY, at LEAST the Hood of Los Angeles saga, was done, right? Well, fuck no of course, because Tony sent a scam call bribing the Association with 'air money' to legally declare The Re4lDe4l a gang. Well, it worked, but only because the leader was old as fuck and starting to lose mental clarity. He got a girlfriend and begged her to slob over his forehead. He was also caught looking for a handle at a Jack In The Box, according to A Totally Reliable News Source.
And just to make sure reality was actually declared although that had already been legally declared, Homeless Man got a girlfriend. (WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW) And apparently, it was none other than Jennie Fowler herself, yes that woman who made Mr. Fowler (the same guy that started the pursuit for Homeless Man and his braindead fuck buddies in the first place) choose between being a cuck and living. Apparently, they were planning in wedding inside that dumb-ass cardboard mansion and Tony already had thoughts of proposing with a slice of pepperoni (THE FU-). Yep, that cheating little shit Jennie decided that she wanted to be with Homeless Bitch forever. However, if you wanna theorize gold-digging, we all know Homeless Bitch is a broke fuck (about the money he stole from Jimmy? He blew it all on the cardboard mansion), so Jennie couldn't have possibly shacked up with him for gold-digging purposes. (Although that was the reason she got with her husband Chris Fowler by a blackmail, death threat, and fake law heavy arranged marriage. Oh, and if you think Chris is a cuck, clearly you haven't heard of the arts known as making false SA accusations and hiring hitmen, things Jennie does indeed practice.)
And just to emphasize how far society has fallen, let me introduce you to some of the recent methods the remains of the FBI have been using to force-feed their authority upon us:
RAIDING VAPE LONGUES AND LIQUOR STORES:
Alright, imagine one of two scenarios:
You (probably a high schooler) are at a vape longue to casually hit your vape, along with a bunch of overweight deadbeat junkies (including at least one absent father and mother), crackheads, and some fellow high schoolers, while vape clouds blind you and frequent coughing exist.
OR...
You're at a liquor store. At the scene is you either looking at wines so the girls can get drunk, looking for beer either for a high school party or so the guys can get drunk, or maybe vodka. (I don't know, maybe you're going on vacation to Russia?). Some deadbeat parent who (if a mom) probably blew the CPS worker good to maintain custody of her 8 neglected kids or if a dad, used the power of physical and verbal abuse, as well as threats and intimidation bitching at the owner, who could simultaneously be a Discord mod, a Redditor, and a League of Legends grinder and still have more of a life than the alcoholic parent. Also there is a high schooler using a fraudulent ID to try and by a 6-pack beer for a party.
Yeah, yeah, I get it, you probably think this is the same thing as the convenience store thingy. So yes, what remained of the FBI raided the stores and used physical force against everyone in their line of sight.
Up next was what would infamously go down in history as "The GoFundMe Scandal".
So what exactly was this GoFundMe incident about?
Well, remember the guy who faked a medical emergency on that site to put up a cardboard mansion for sale on Craigslist? Well, the FBI wanted the guy's head, and Craigslist sold an agent's wife and 3 kids for a nickel as... let's leave it at "warning sign". So that left the FBI no choice but to turn GoFundMe facing up and down numerous times, with serious side effects.
Shit wasn't pretty, so let me break it down into stages:
Stage 1: Police officers investigated a few GoFundMe accounts. They reached out through listed socials to question these people. Use small threats and intimidation to solicit any information they could.
Stage 2: Police officers searched more GoFundMe accounts. Reached out to their loved ones to solicit their socials or ways of communication. Did the same thing as in Stage 1 to said people, but this time added threats of legal trouble.
Stage 3: Police officers started searching for GoFundMe account holders by infiltrating unprotected servers, this time looking for phone numbers and e-mails as well on top of socials. This time didn't stop as a request for communicating time once every few hours, instead spamming questions... aggressively (to put it very, VERY nicely) no less than every three minutes. Now threats of physical violence and extreme intimidation became present. SWAT started participating.
Stage 4.1: Police officers and SWAT were now elevating their positions to high positions in law to scare GoFundMe server owners to subpoena their entire servers, if you didn't want the officers and SWAT to look like dogshit. Otherwise, it would be those guys forcing server owners to dox everyone on their network. Now they weren't just looking for digital communication. They were now looking for mail addresses and even work contact info. Because, no, they hadn't gotten the guy who sold the cardboard mansion yet. (Of course)
Stage 4.2: Now these people were either straight-up death-threatening hackers into doxxing people on GoFundMe servers with accounts or just doing it themselves. They were so desperate to get the cardboard mansion seller that they didn't want just communication methods, they now wanted locations for their house and every single place they've ever been in. And to make shit even worse, they weren't even asking questions now, because now, they decided that there was only one correct answer, which was basically portraying yourself as a war criminal more diabolical than unnamed mustache man. Answer anything they didn't like and shit would hit the fan.
(cue Gumball "I think we know where this is going so let's just skip to the end (nuclear explosion)" sound)
Stage 5: Yeah, I'm not gonna overexplain this shit. The police and SWAT are killing everyone who ever had a GoFundMe account. (The FBI also joined in the killings)
And the icing on the cake? The FBI were wasting military helicopters. And for what? To pour down tons on tons of gasoline across the Los Angeles area in hopes of burning down the cardboard mansion. Well, those Re4lDe4l bums weren't too far, but not that close.
And there was more, which I can't even say or my entire bloodline will be publicly executed.
But wait, that wasn't the end of the shitstorm, because, guess what? The United Nations came out... to defend The Re4lDe4l and swore they'd "protect them from this vicious harassment and abuse from the law, incels (the fu-), and losers". Oh, sorry Mr. and Ms. All-Righteous but I think YOU'RE abusing the rest of the human population by refusing to do anything about this braincell-killing group.
Shit got so bad the FBI was left with no choice but to message their worst enemy, Jose Escobar (or One Bullet, the leader of The Death Note, the most notorious and powerful gang ever), basically begging him to save the world's sanity from The Re4lDe4l. In the agent's words:
"Please, I beg of you, you and your gang do something about this logic-obliterating group known as The Re4lDe4l (if you haven't heard of them, consider yourself a lucky man), not because they're too powerful, but because everyone's mental well-being is on the line."