There are many sounds in this world.
Rain.Wind.Crickets.My own internal screaming.
But nothing—NOTHING—compares to the sound of waking up to:
"BUB-BUB-BUB-UBUBUB!!!!"
Which, in Void Orb language, roughly translates to:
"Father, I have committed a crime and require praise."
I shoot upright from my bed (pile of straw + sadness).My eyes go wide.
"OH SWEET PHYSICS—WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW?!"
The Void Orb floats in the middle of my room, glowing like a disco ball having an identity crisis.Around it?
Micro Suns.Tiny, fist-sized, drifting balls of nuclear fire.
I count them.
One, two, three…
Nine.
NINE.
"NINE?!" I yell. "Why do you need NINE MINIATURE SUNS?!"
The Void Orb rotates smugly. "Bub."
The System decides to helpfully inform me:
"I NOTICED."
Lila bursts into my room at that exact moment, panting.
"Rion—your house is glowing—WHAT IS THAT?!?!"
I point dramatically."I AM A SINGLE FATHER OF NINE STARS."
She blinks.Then blinks again.Then, with the most gentle and sympathetic tone, she says:
"Would you like a moment to cry?"
"Yes," I whisper.
The Day Begins With Terror
We somehow manage to herd the nine baby suns outside.And by "herd," I mean:
They chase me like flaming sentient pigeons while Lila tries to catch them with buckets.
Every time one bumps into a tree—
WHOOMPH.
The tree no longer exists.
It's just a puff of ash and regret.
The System keeps chiming in:
I yell at the sky: "I'M TRYING!!!"
The sky does not care.
ENTER: The Town Guards
Because of course.
Two armored guards sprint into the clearing, panting, weapons drawn.
"WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF THE—HOLY—IS THAT MULTIPLE SUNS?!"
Lila steps forward, smiling brightly (and lying through her teeth)."Oh no, those aren't suns. They're… festival lanterns! Very bright festival lanterns!"
The guard: "One of them just vaporized a goat."
Lila: "Yes! A traditional… goat… cleansing ritual."
The guard squints.
The Void Orb floats behind me, holds up a baby sun like a trophy, and proudly yells:
"BUB-BUB-BU—"
I tackle it before it says something illegal.
"We're training! It's for a—uh—science project!" I add desperately.
The guards stare for a long, existentially troubled moment.
Then they turn away and mutter:"We don't get paid enough for this…"
Mood.
THE QUEST UPDATE NOBODY ASKED FOR
Just when I think things cannot get worse:
Lila reads the quest window, looks at me, and says:
"We're absolutely doomed."
"I know."
The Void Orb floats between us, glowing sweetly.
"Bub?"
"No," I say."You may NOT create a tenth sun."
"Bub."
"That wasn't a suggestion."
"BUB."
Lila pats my shoulder with deep sympathy."You should assert dominance."
"I haven't even asserted dominance over my own hair."
THE CHAOS ESCALATES
Before I can stop it, Void Orb suddenly zooms upward——straight into the sky like a rogue meteor.
"BUB-BUB-BUB-BUB!!"
Lila gasps. "It's ascending!"
I gasp. "It's EVOLVING! NO, STOP—EVOLVE LATER—"
The System blares:
I scream.Lila screams.Even the baby suns scream (in fiery crackle noises).
The Void Orb begins to glow white-hot, a halo forming around it, reality bending like a pretzel.
And then—
it explodes.
But not in a destructive way.
It explodes into—
A humanoid shape.
A tiny floating humanoid child made of void-stuff, starlight, and 99% trouble.
It yawns.
It stretches.
It looks me in the eye.
And says:
"Dad."
I collapse.
Lila collapses.
The nine tiny suns orbit the new child like they're baby ducklings.
The System adds one final line:
The Voidborn child hovers in front of me, pokes my forehead, and says:
"Dad. Breakfast."
I stare at it.
I stare at Lila.
I stare at the heavens, wondering why they hate me.
Lila whispers, "Rion… congratulations… you're a dad… of a cosmic toddler…"
The child pokes me again.
"Breakfast. Or I make more suns."
"NO YOU DO NOT," I scream.