When he opened his eyes again.
The visible place was no longer the road. The sky without a single cloud was snow-white like drawing paper, and the ground was dark. The sporadically blooming trees and plants were also ink-colored. As if he had entered an ink wash painting, the world consisted of only two colors: white and black.
Kenji stood at its very center. The chunk of ground he stepped on was blurred as if ink had spread, but it retained the firmness unique to earth. Thanks to that, his body didn't fall through the ground.
That didn't comfort him.
"..."
There's a saying that when driven to the edge of a cliff, the mind反而 becomes calm. Kenji keenly realized the meaning of those words.
The environment had changed three times in an instant. From the laboratory to monochrome, from monochrome to Earth, from Earth back to monochrome. It was a situation far exceeding the amount of information his brain could handle, yet his head was strangely clear. The influence of fear likely wasn't absent.
Kenji slightly furrowed his brow and looked down at his body. His face and arm torn by glass fragments, his grotesquely twisted right arm—all had returned to normal. His blinded left eye, his lost senses of smell and taste were also the same. But he couldn't simply rejoice.
Because he realized it instinctively.
'This place is not reality.'
It was a matter of common sense. Ground like poured ink and a snow-white sky? How could such a thing exist in reality? No matter how much it's Kivotos, impossible is impossible. Unless it's a phenomenon caused by an utterly inscrutable being.
...Right, an inscrutable being.
Kenji stiffened his expression coldly and placed a hand on his chest. A huge hole was pierced where his left chest, where his heart should be, was. Black pus flowed from inside, soaking his clothes and falling to the ground where it was absorbed. But no pain was felt. Unless he consciously thought about it, he couldn't even feel awkwardness about his chest.
So what? Should he express gratitude that it doesn't hurt even with a hole in his chest? Kenji twisted the corner of his mouth and looked ahead. In the distance, he saw a shimmering black object. It was a strange thing that looked both like a flower, like a tree, like a heart, and like a human. Its appearance changed moment by moment with each blink.
He realized instinctively. Either catch and kill that thing, or die here myself. One of the two must absolutely happen. This place wasn't reality, but the concept of death was clearer here than in reality. And how inscrutable the being that created such a space was, Kenji's mind couldn't possibly comprehend.
So what?
What was the experiment for? What did I abandon everything for? What did I drive a stake into those girls' hearts for?
For what.
"...Ha."
Can I do it or not? Such things were no longer even worth contemplating.
He had to.
Kenji moved his leg. The moment he took that one step forward, Kenji's vision reversed.
It was the orphanage. His body had changed to that of a child, and similarly childlike Nagisa and Mika came into view. A familiar place. A familiar smell. A familiar scene. Kenji slowly rolled his black eyes to stare at the side. Mika, holding a pistol in her hand and smiling brightly, filled his view.
"Do you want to get shot too, Kenji?"
"..."
Kenji couldn't utter any answer and merely moved his lips. A longed-for past. A second childhood where he didn't need to worry about anything. Yet, the moment he clearly felt the fear of death.
He was certain of the fear's intention. It was trying to implant 'fear' in 'me'. Trying to implant a clear fear that paralyzes human reason and bleaches the brain—the 'fear of death'. That's why it's showing near-death experiences in succession. The traffic accident was like that, and now is like that.
*Click.*
A cold metallic sensation was felt in his abdomen. As if reproducing the memory of that time, his heart pounded wildly and his head spun. But instead of panicking, Kenji only rolled his eyes to look at Mika's face. It was a pure, beautiful smile.
"Kenji?"
She tilted her head. Kenji stared at that sight with a complicated expression. —It was brief. He smiled bitterly and gently stroked Mika's head.
"I'm sorry."
"Huh?"
"It's fine to scold me. It's fine to resent me. Even if you curse me with hatred for the rest of your life, I'll endure it with a smile. So be happy."
"What are you talking aboutㅡ"
"I wish I could say these words to the real you someday too."
Kenji grabbed Mika's hand. And pulled the trigger.
*Bang!*
"Kehuk!"
His vision twisted once again. The orphanage disappeared, and he returned to the monochrome space. Kenji frowned at the phantom pain felt in his abdomen, then smiled fiercely and glared ahead.
Just a little. He had gotten closer to the fear. He laughed softly and took a step forward.
It was the laboratory. Fear was injected into his body, and all bodily functions stopped. He vomited blood, his eyeball was crushed. His heart burst. Organs were smashed. Brain matter boiled. He endured it with a smile.
*Thud!* Ripples spread from his stepping foot. The ink painting the ground shook. His broken thoughts returned. Kenji wiped off an unidentifiable liquid—whether saliva, blood, or ink—flowing down the corner of his mouth and advanced once more.
Perhaps because he had exhausted all memories related to death, it no longer showed him illusions. Instead, it began direct interference. *Plop*, the body below Kenji's left knee turned into ink and disappeared. His body fell forward.
One leg still remained. He propped himself up with both arms.
Thus one step.
His right leg disappeared.
Both arms remained.
His left arm disappeared.
His right arm remained.
His eyeballs disappeared. Eyes weren't important.
His entire lower body disappeared. It had been unnecessary long ago. All that was needed to move forward was his remaining right arm.
"Damn, you bastard."
Kenji spat out with a fierce smile. It was a pitiful sight. All limbs except one had disappeared, and black liquid poured in streams from both eyes. To the point where even the word 'battered' would be too good for him, Kenji was broken. A bug crawling on the ground was in better shape than Kenji.
But he didn't act pitifully. He didn't beg to be saved. He didn't cry. He didn't stop moving forward. Even with only one arm, he chewed and swallowed the ink flowing from his eyes and crawled forward, forward. Toward such him, the fear spoke for the first time. The voice was too murky to be human, yet too clear to be beastly.
To the point where he wondered if a god's voice would be like that, its voice was mysterious and terrifying at the same time.
[What moves you.]
But the uttered question was so simple that Kenji unknowingly burst into laughter. Then he answered.
"I'm not such a great person as to care about people around me. If I survive alone, that's enough, why would I look after others?"
The fear didn't answer. It wasn't a question expecting a reply.
"But... the bonds I formed were deeper than I thought. I just couldn't cast them away. I can't forget them either, I thought I had cut them all off. Seems there's still attachment left. Like an idiot. I should have either cut them off completely or embraced them completely. Thinking about it now, I didn't do a single thing properly."
[....]
"So I'm going to make it clear."
*Gurgle*, black phlegm boiled in Kenji's mouth. He slowly raised his only arm.
"At the very least, even if I die, I should say something to those girls before dying. Right? If I die here, it's just a dog's death. Huh?"
[I can erase the memories. Embrace me.]
"Go fuck yourself. Who the hell are you to erase memories? Are you a god or something?"
[If you wish.]
"There has been no god in my life."
The raised arm trembled violently. But it clearly made contact. His fingertips *tapped* against its edge. It was then. A suddenly protruding pure white hand tightly grasped Kenji's wrist. Though he couldn't see the owner of that hand because his eyeballs were crushed, the voice was clearly audible.
"Finally."
"Finally, the 'Purest Fear' and the 'Purest Vessel' have met."
"However."
"This is a psychic space."
"Even for us, infiltrating here is burdensome."
"Thus we must achieve our goal quickly."
The voices were not one. As if consecutive voices formed one complete sentence, they lifted Kenji while their white priestly garments fluttered. With only one arm, resistance was impossible for Kenji. He twisted the corner of his mouth and spat out.
"What the hellㅡ"
"Contact."
"Place the pure fear into the pure vessel."
"If we bring it into contact with color, we can create a second Guide."
"Moreover, this one is a 'monster'."
"He will become an even more excellent spokesperson than that Frena Patres."
What kind of nonsense are they spouting? He didn't know. He didn't even have the leisure to know. Because the one grasping Kenji's wrist thrust him into the fear.
"Devour."
"Devour the vessel. Fill it. And become the 'purest, most inscrutable fear'."
"Destiny."
"That is destiny. You resisted once, but there won't be a secondㅡ"
The last voice became faint. Kenji tried to spit out curses, but his voice wouldn't come out as if submerged underwater. Black bubbles burst from his mouth, and agony as if being torn apart was felt in his limbs. Kenji's face contorted wildly as he endured that pain.
The sensation was strange. It felt like his body was floating in the void, like sinking into the deep sea, like being buried in mud. The more he struggled, the more intense the sensation became, grabbing his ankles and stretching him.
But the pain gradually decreased. The strange sensation also subsided, and instead, a comfortable feeling as if held in someone's embrace was felt. Kenji's contorted face relaxed. He stretched his only arm and waved it through the void to grab something. Simultaneously, his eyeballs were restored. Ink turned into limbs and attached to the severed surfaces. It was bewildering, but the current situation was more important.
Kenji narrowed his eyes and looked around.
It was a space painted entirely black. The boundaries between floor, ceiling, and walls weren't properly felt. Though his feet were somehow planted on the ground, because below was dark, he didn't properly feel like he was standing. He frowned and swung his now-intact left arm once.
'Did I enter inside the fear?'
He recalled the situation moments ago. Something unknown grabbed his wrist and thrust him into the fear. Then this place must be its interior. But he couldn't even grasp what he should do here. He had tried to touch it and somehow kill it, but he never imagined he would come inside.
"...What should I do from the inside."
The moment he uttered that, wind blew from behind. It wasn't pure wind. Ominous wind. Wind that made every nerve in his body stand on end just by touching it, causing Kenji to hurriedly turn his head. Thus he saw.
The source of the wind.
The man standing there. His face was intact, but he was missing an arm. Long hair dragged on the ground, and inorganic black eyes shone menacingly. That was all, yet Kenji's eyes were colored with shock.
Because the man's face was familiar.
"...What are you."
"...Ah."
A metallic sound flowed from between the man's teeth. He stared straight at Kenji while repeatedly clenching and unclenching his fist. Then, he whispered softly.
"You've come."