As the morning sun rose without fail today, illuminating the brick house, I woke up, opening my eyes sharply as if I had forgotten an important appointment.
[Good morning! Now, let's go pour all our energy into our dick and make that sow fall today!]
"...Are you watching me?"
I've felt it since before. Since this message window first appeared ten years ago, it's like I've subtly felt someone's gaze on me, I should say.
Back then, I thought my chuunibyou had just come late and dismissed it as just my imagination, but seeing this guy greet me the moment I woke up today made me feel uneasy, so I just asked.
[Huh? Ah... N-No? I don't know anything about that! As soon as you, the Keeper/Owner, clocked out last night, I went home, stretched my legs out, and slept!? I absolutely don't know anything about you fondling your dick in the bathroom, saying, 'Wow, what a nice pussy...'! Really!]
"..."
Let's not talk about it.
I desperately ignored the guy's excuses, which were accompanied by an SD character with a subtle expression combining strictness, solemnity, and seriousness, along with the text 'That's not true!', hastily had a meal, and went outside.
[Where are you going?]
"Where else would a pig keeper go?"
[Aha... You say that, but you're really going to deal with that stiff morning erection! I won't tell anyone! I can grasp your vulgar sexual desires within 43 hours!]
Why 43 hours? Don't they usually use 24 or 48 hours as examples? What takes 19 hours longer than 24 hours?
[Ahem! Well, normally it's 24 hours, buuut...? I also have to observe, grasp, and analyze the lewd comics and videos you've watched, and then masturba—ahem, ahem! Take statistics! And that's not all! I have to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, have tea time in between, and also...]
"Those are just the 19 hours you wasted playing around!"
More than that, that statement is like saying they dug through everything I've seen, even things in my memory or things I'd forgotten...
[Ah! More importantly, Keeper! Hurry, training! Let's do training! Training!]
"...I'll deal with you later."
Pondering how to get back at this insolent creature later, I opened the pigsty door.
"..."
"Hmm, her condition doesn't look so good?"
And what immediately met my eyes was the platinum-blonde sow, Eleonora, clearly giving off strong vibes of 'Something's wrong with me.'
Even though it was morning and I had opened the door wide to ventilate the pigsty and opened every single window in the place, Eleonora still had an exhausted expression.
"Did something happen during the night...? Asking that seems pointless; you had a rough night, didn't you?"
"..."
"Right, what happened during the night? Was it still itchy?"
"Do you think I would tell you?"
Obviously, putting aside the stinging and itching of the clothed areas, she probably spent the night lost in a masturbation frenzy due to the stimulation from her genitals.
[But... you've already taken her virginity, pierced her clitoris... Next, if you pierce her nipples whoosh and then connect the piercings with a chain...]
It's a rather tempting suggestion, but I made an effort to ignore the creature's words. What I was about to do wasn't about commands or coercion, you see.
"Take it off."
"..."
[Just a moment ago you said it wasn't about commands or coer—what was it again?]
Eleonora looked at me as if it was absurd when I suddenly told her to undress. She's already in a bad mood, and I, whom she already hates the sight of, crawl over and tell her to take her clothes off? It's a natural reaction.
"It's not for sexual purposes. It's purely for medical reasons, to check if there's something wrong with your body."
"A humanitarian like you, who not only made my clitoris look like this but also took my virginity, is here? What a great benevolent ruler!."
It hasn't been more than a few days since we met face-to-face, but I could tell that Eleonora was really in a bad mood right now. If she was simply in a bad mood because of my existence, the reply would have been something like, 'Are you telling me to take off this armor, which is no different from a knight's honor?!' But the words coming from Eleonora's mouth now were closer to sarcastic lamentation.
Judging by the fact she's blatantly showing off her erect clitoris through her leggings, she's truly mentally exhausted from whatever happened last night.
"More importantly, it seems like it got bigger?"
"...Shut up. I don't need your help, so disappear."
Will you look at this? Is her spirit not yet broken enough?
Well, it's only the third day, and these symptoms will gradually intensify from here on out. What can you do?
"Then, should I at least change that straw bundle? Maybe there are mites or something stuck to it causing the itch."
"I already checked all that myself!"
Oh, did you now?
"Still, take it off."
"...Are you deaf!?"
"I'm not telling you to take everything off, just those leggings. I'm going to administer some medicine."
No sooner had I finished speaking, as if remembering the previous suppository incident, Eleonora blushed and cautiously pointed to her buttocks, saying,
"Medicine? Now you're openly trying to use some dirty drug on me..."
"It's a dewormer! So just take off the leggings, I said!"
[Ooooh?! Finally! Finally, the time has come for the one!]
"Dewormer?"
Eleonora tilted her head as if hearing the word for the first time in her life. I'm not a pharmacist, so I don't know how long the history of dewormers is, but it's probably an unfamiliar term in the civilized society where medieval knights are active.
Even in our country, which ranks among the developed nations, as recently as the 1960s, half the population was infected with parasites.
"Yeah, dewormer. It's medicine to kill the parasites inside your body, so quickly present your rear."
"Parasites...? In all my life, I've never been bothered by worms or such..."
"Yeah, well, you must have felt it at least once in your life. Like your asshole or pussy being strangely itchy..."
"Eek?!"
No sooner had I finished speaking, a look of panic flashed across Eleonora's face, followed by her turning crimson red, incomparably more than before.
"H-how did you know?! Don't tell me you've been playing tricks on me since back then?!"
"...If I had, I'd be a truly filthy bastard, right?"
Of course, for us, we can consider getting parasites into our bodies mainly from things we come into contact with, like soil and wood, or things we ingest, like vegetables.
It's safe to say that modern humanity has almost eradicated the parasites in their bodies. But this bitch. This bitch right here.
What about an honorable knight from the Middle Ages? I wonder what the probability of a Grandmaster being infected with parasites is, but judging by that reaction, she definitely has experienced the symptoms I mentioned in the past.
[Hmm, it's true Grandmasters are almost immune to diseases, but I'm not sure about parasites? But what does an itchy asshole-pussy have to do with parasites...]
Traditionally, when the anus is abnormally itchy, there are really only a few possibilities.
You didn't wipe properly after doing your business,
You're infected with parasites like roundworms or pinworms,
Or it's hemorrhoids.
"Until now, you might have lived without knowing about common diseases because you're a Grandmaster, but parasites could be a possibility, so let's prevent it in advance."
"P-prevention... Me, falling to mere worms...!?"
"Look here. Birds of prey that fly in the sky, lions, tigers, and all other beasts live practically as one with parasites, you know? Even beasts that can tear such worms apart easily are teeming with parasites inside them; do you think you'd be safe?"
Eleonora's eyes began to waver. Well, of course. Even if it's a bad memory, she saw me possess medicine that made new flesh sprout solsol the moment it was applied to the incision on her clitoral hood.
It's natural to think I might have some knowledge of pharmacology related to that.
"B-but... to show my rear end for mere worms...!"
"You said you ate wild boar before coming here. That means the probability of parasitic infection is high. The intermediate host for this parasite, called the pork tapeworm or hookworm, is the pig. The final host is humans. Anyway, seeing how most creatures living in the wild carry parasites, the possibility that your body has no parasites is extremely low."
Honestly, if she weren't a Grandmaster, it would have been a sure thing. It's just that the very existence of a Grandmaster, as seen in novels, is so invincible they can slay dragons, so would they really be done in by mere parasites?
"A knight's honor is something you protect by staying alive first, right? What if you get taken out by a parasite before even escaping this place?"
"That's why I'm saying such worms are nothing to me!"
...There's no choice.
In times like this, the only way is to use the fear of the unknown and resort to persuasion disguised as coercion.
"Is that so? Then I guess there's no helping it..."
"Hmph, that's right... Trying to toy with my asshole-pu—ahem... anus with such nonsensical worms..."
"Instead, if you don't get rid of it, that parasite might chew up your insides like a mouse, crunch crunch."
Clatter Bang-!
And at that moment, something flashed before my eyes, dazzling me, and then...
"Gr, grrr..."
"Huh?"
Eleonora, who had somehow gotten right in front of my nose without me noticing, was glaring at me, grinding her teeth ggadeuk ggadeuk as if she was furious.