[City Hospital—Afternoon]
A pregnancy.
For some people, it's a blessing. A miracle. A tiny bundle of hope wrapped inside your body.
And for others…it's a horror movie.
And for Lu Wen?
"…Excuse me?" he croaked.
He sat stiffly in the hospital consultation room, staring at the doctor like the man had just announced the apocalypse. His brain hit a blue screen of death the moment the doctor said, "Congratulations, Mr. Lu Wen. You're pregnant."
Lu Wen blinked.
Slowly.
Painfully.
"But… I was here to check my gastritis," he whispered, voice cracking under the weight of disbelief.
"Yes," the doctor nodded brightly. "And it turns out that isn't gas. It's a baby occupying the space where your stomach peace used to exist. Congratulations again!"
Lu Wen's soul left his body.
He stood up on pure autopilot, bowed politely because manners were forever, and dragged his hollow shell out of the consultation room—while the doctor kept beaming and throwing "Congratulations!" after him like confetti.
Halfway down the hallway, Lu Wen stopped dead.
"I… I'm pregnant?" he mumbled. "But how? HOW?!"
He stared at the report. Squinted at it. Shook it. Turned it upside down. Held it against the light like a lunatic.
No magical correction happened. The bold, capital-letter PREGNANCY POSITIVE glared back at him.
Lu Wen released a dying-duck noise.
Well. Fine. Whatever. He would… adapt. Eventually. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next month. Maybe right before the delivery. Definitely sometime before the child turned eighteen.
But fate—his absolutely garbage, sadistic fate—didn't even give him five minutes.
"FOUND YOU!!!"
The temperature in the hallway dropped ten degrees.
Lu Wen turned around slowly.
A tall, dangerously handsome man stood there like the final boss of his life. Dark eyes, sharp jaw, and the kind of presence that screamed run.
"Get him," the man ordered.
Get—what?
Two large men in black suits marched toward him like human bulldozers.
"W-Wait!" Lu Wen yelped as they grabbed him by the arms. "What's going on?! Can I have ONE minute to process—please?!"
Nope.
No one listened. He was scooped up like an unwilling sacrifice. And so, Lu Wen was kidnapped. On the exact day he discovered he was pregnant. Because life hates him.
Now… how did this absolute disaster begin?
To answer that, we need to go back ten days before.
***
[Ten Days Before]
SLAM!!!!
A tray hit the cafeteria table hard enough to rattle every cup on it.
"Hey, Lu Wen! Did you hear? Our senior—Zhou Yiming—started dating!"
Lu Wen blinked mid-sip. Then promptly choked. Coffee sprayed out of his mouth and straight onto his white shirt.
"HEY—what the hell, man?!" his friend, Chen Hao, yelped, lunging with napkins while Lu Wen coughed violently.
Lu Wen slapped the cup down. "Who?! WHO is dating?!"
"Zhou. Yi. Ming." His friend enunciated each word like delivering a tragic prophecy. "THE campus heartthrob. Your senior. The one you've liked since forever."
Lu Wen's eye twitched. "It has NOT been forever—"
"And LOOK," his friend, Chen Hao, said, shoving his phone into Lu Wen's face.
A photo. Zhou Yiming. With a girl. Smiling. Her hand in his. They looked nauseatingly perfect.
"…Oh."
Just that one soft sound cracked something inside him.
His friend's expression softened. "Dude… seriously, are you okay?"
Lu Wen nodded. Then shook his head. Then nodded again.
"I'm fine," he declared, voice cracking like cheap glass. "Perfectly fine. Never been better. I love emotional trauma."
He shot up from his seat. "I'm—uh—going to class."
"You don't HAVE class for three hours!" his friend, Chen Hao, called after him.
"I'm going to class!" Lu Wen shouted back, already speed-walking toward the exit like heartbreak was setting his ass on fire.
His friend sighed. "Yep. He's absolutely NOT okay."
***
[Sleepy Nightclub—Night]
"...WAAAHHHH… waaahhhh…"
Lu Wen was crying. Not normal crying. Not dignified crying. He was crying like a tragic pig who had just been told he failed kindergarten.
Chen Hao sat beside him, holding a wine glass with the deadpan expression of a man who had accepted his destiny. While everyone in the club was staring.
"Bro," Chen Hao muttered, leaning closer. "For god's sake, can you cry a LITTLE quieter?"
Lu Wen looked at him. Eyes red. Nose running. Soul shattered. Then he sucked in a breath—
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—!"
Half the club flinched. Someone dropped their drink. A bartender sighed like he was reconsidering his career choices.
Chen Hao pinched the bridge of his nose. "I said quieter, not opera-level tragedy. People are filming us, Lu Wen. FILMING."
Lu Wen slammed his palms onto the table and sobbed even louder.
"YIMING HAS A GIRLFRIEEEEEEEND—!"
"Yes, thank you; the entire club knows now." Chen Hao groaned as several people whispered, "Who the hell is Yiming?"
Lu Wen grabbed his shirt dramatically. "I—I was going to confess to him after exams!"
Chen Hao blinked. "You have NEVER talked to him for more than twelve seconds."
"That's STILL a relationship!" Lu Wen wailed.
Chen Hao stared at him with the hollow eyes of a man questioning every life choice.
He took a sip of his wine, mumbling, "I deeply regret coming here. I should've stayed home. I should've washed my socks. I should've done anything else."
Meanwhile, Lu Wen hiccupped, then slapped the table like he was declaring war. "My life is over… I'm going to die single… just bury me with my textbooks…"
Chen Hao sighed, grabbed the wine bottle, and poured him a glass. "Okay, okay… I'll bury you after exams. Happy? Now drink this and shut up."
Lu Wen nodded, determined. Then—
GULP! GULP! GULP! GULP!!!
"—HEY! HEY!!!" Chen Hao reached over in horror. "Slow down, you alcoholic panda! WTF—STOP!"
But Lu Wen, in his dramatic heartbreak mode, shoved him aside with unexpected omega strength. In one terrifying, life-threatening move… Lu Wen grabbed the entire bottle.
And drank it.
THE. WHOLE. THING.
Chen Hao's soul left his body. "OH MY FREAKING—LU WEN! THAT WAS A 3000-YUAN BOTTLE—!"
Lu Wen slammed it down victoriously.
"Hah! I… I don't feel a thing—"
He stood up. Wobbled. Wobbled harder. Lu Wen's knees turned to noodles. Then his face turned red. Then he pointed at the disco ball.
"Chen Hao… the moon is spinning…"
"That's a disco ball, you dumbass—"
But Lu Wen was already wobbling off his seat.
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Chen Hao called after him.
Lu Wen lifted a finger dramatically. "To the bathroom… or heaven… whichever comes first…"
He staggered away.
Left turn.
Right turn.
A spin.
Another turn.
And—of course—he COMPLETELY ignored the enormous glowing RESTROOM sign.
Chen Hao watched him go with the exhausted despair of a single mother of five. "Why am I his friend again?" he whispered to the universe.
Meanwhile, Lu Wen wobbled down the hallway like a drunk jellyfish escaping captivity. "Washroom… washroom… where are youuu… washroom~~~~"
He dragged his hand along the wall for balance, blinking dramatically every few steps. And then—
He froze.
Sniff.
Sniff-sniff.
His nose twitched like a confused puppy. "…Orange?"
He sniffed again. Eyes went wide. A glowing smile spread across his face like the sunrise.
"ORANGE." He raised both arms in triumph. "I LOVE ORANGE!!!"
Several passersby looked alarmed. He followed the scent with the determination of a man on a mission. "It's coming from here… from this… room… mmm… orange juice…"
He swayed.
Wobbled. Leaned forward…
And—
THUD!!!
He slammed straight into the door of VIP Room 507.
The door swung open. The smell grew stronger. Lu Wen blinked at the golden-lit room.
"…Ooooh. Fancy orange."
And with the drunk confidence of someone who had absolutely no sense of impending doom, he stumbled inside.