The backyard quiet returned, but the silence inside my head was long gone. Elias words, "Change the plot. Change the genre." felt less like a comfort and more like a commission. Elias had not just given me permission to stop grieving Michael's betrayal, he had pointed out that my intense heartbreak was a choice of narrative. I had been choosing distraction over ambition. I went back to my room, no longer seeing my books as an escape, but as a discipline.
My real goal, the one that requires risk, effort and actual focus was publishing. I was an English major student, obsessed with the printed word, yet I had never once seriously pursued an internship at a publishing house. The truth was simple; I was always too busy recovering from the last dramatic relationship to build a real career.
'change the genre '.
I stopped looking at the ghosts of my past boyfriends and walked straight to my laptop. If I was the author of my fiction, I needed to write a new setting. I typed 'summer publishing internship Atlanta' into the search bar.
I found the posting immediately; Bright pages publishing. It is a small, independent house known for literary fiction. The application deadline was the end of the week. I had actually downloaded the application packet weeks ago, and had immediately labeled it 'future fantasies'.
I clicked open the document. As I have decided no more fantasies for me but jumping in.
The application required a personal essay, describing my passion for publishing, and three specific examples of structural editing in classic literature.
I spend the rest of my day in a state of fierce determination. My heartbreak over Michael was now just a background noise, secondary to the plot I was creating. I wrote the details of how my passion for strong, reliable narrative structures had made and prepared me for the world of books.
As dusk settled, I submitted the entire packet electronically. I had just started my chapter two, as my life author, not by looking for validation, but by signing up for a new purpose.